Friday, October 22, 2004

an inspirational story for u

Can We Really Have it All? By: Sue Dickinson
Someone asked me this week if I thought we really can have "it all." My immediate answer was "of course," but after thinking it over, I concluded that it depends on a lot of things. I think three main questions to ask are (1) Do YOU think you can have "it all"?; (2) Do you have a clear definition of what "it all" is?; and (3) are you willing to change your definition of "it all" as you life changes?

In my opinion, the answer of whether or not you can have "it all" has to vary from person to person because we are all so different, and everyone has a differing definition of "it all". In fact, I believe that even the same individual’s definition of "it all" varies over their life. Most babies believe they have "it all" when they are in the arms of their mommy enjoying a good meal. That’s all it takes! But, as that baby matures, their definitions become more complex, and finding "it all" becomes increasingly a private matter.

I have learned a lot of important life lessons during my search to have "it all." It began in Junior High School, when to have "it all" meant having my own room, getting HBO, and being on the "A" volleyball team at school. And, yes, I achieved those goals and had "it all." At least for a little while. Because the first lesson I learned about having "it all" is that as soon as you get "it all", you want more!

In High School, I thought I only needed one thing to have "it all." I wanted so badly to be a member of the Madrigal Singers, a prestigious choir sponsored by our school. I finally worked up the nerve to audition, despite the fact that no one had ever told me I had a special singing talent or that my voice was unique. At least, until my audition, when the director of the choir had no problem telling me how LITTLE talent I had! When I didn’t make the choir, I learned that if my definition of having "it all" means having something that isn’t a god-given gift, I will always be defeated. If, however, I choose to pursue goals that fit with the talents I have, the chance to have "it all" is unlimited!

In college, my quest for "it all" became more mercenary: a great job, a car, the grades I needed to be "sellable" after graduation. As I started my career, these goals were only expanded to include more and more "stuff": a house, nicer car, better job ... the list went on and on.
About two years after my husband, Marty and I were married, I thought we were really getting somewhere. We were making more money than we ever had before (and, I might add, spending more money, too). I remember one evening we were on our first real vacation since getting married, and were feeling pretty proud of ourselves. We were dining in a very nice restaurant, enjoying each other’s company, good food and cocktails. We were doing a great job of congratulating ourselves for all we’d achieved. In our minds, that night, we actually had "it all."
Well, God really does have a sense of humor, because two weeks after we returned from vacation "it all" went up in smoke when Marty’s company decided to close his division, and eliminate his job in the process. I quickly learned another lesson: if having "it all" is reliant on circumstances outside our control, we can easily be disappointed.

So began several adventurous years where Marty and I moved across the country, changed careers, and started a family, always in search of a new and improved definition of "it all." In the process, I’ve learned some more important lessons.

Most importantly, I’ve learned that the best "all" I can strive for is in my head. I can’t lie, money, a nice house, clothes, cars and jobs are important to me, but they are easily lost. Tony Robbins has often said that there is nothing in life you can control except the way that you perceive things. And, in order to place a positive perception on any circumstance that comes my way, I’ve learned that I must do three things.

First, I must be at peace with myself, comfortable that I am always doing the very best that I can with the hand life has dealt me.

Second, I must be happy and secure in my relationships with those closest to me, with my husband, son, family and especially with God.

Finally, third, I must be constantly growing and improving, always trying to learn just a little bit more. For me, when I can achieve those three things on a consistent basis, I believe I really will have "it all."

Since every person is different, I can’t tell you what it will take for you to have "it all." But I do know, that if you keep looking for the answers, the lessons you learn during your life will guide you until you, too will find the answer. Always continue to ask. Do YOU think you can have "it all?" Do you have a clear definition of what "it all" is? Are you willing to change your definition of "it all" as your life changes? If so, I’m positive that you will not only achieve "it all," but have a great time in the process – Yes, we CAN have it all!

some positive quotes

Shallow men believe in luck, believe in circumstances. Strong men believe in cause and effect.

If a man can write a better book, preach a better sermon, or make a better mousetrap, than his neighbor, though he build his house in the woods, the world will make a beaten path to his door.

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything that is beautiful; for beauty is God's handwriting - a wayside sacrament. Welcome it in every fair face, in every fair sky, in every fair flower, and thank God for it as a cup of blessing.

Big jobs usually go to the men who prove their ability to outgrow small ones.

They can conquer who believe they can. He has not learned the first lesson in life who does not every day surmount a fear.

Speak the affirmative; emphasize your choice by utterly ignoring all that you reject.

Every man has his own courage, and is betrayed because he seeks in himself the courage of other persons.

To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us what we can be.

Imagination is not a talent of some men, but is the health of every man.

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship.

What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not been discovered.

The years teach much which the days never knew.

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.

No one can cheat you out of ulitmate success but yourself.

Big jobs usually go to the men who prove their ability to outgrow small ones.

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.

What would be the use of immortality to a person who cannot use well a half an hour.

It is impossible for a man to be cheated by anyone but himself.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Why Are You Waiting for Someone Else to Inspire You?
by Michael Masterson
I met Bella for the first time six years ago, while she was attending her first copywriting bootcamp (which, like ETR's Wealth-Building Bootcamp, is now hosted every year by the Agora Learning Institute). She was an energetic, recently divorced, ambitious 36-year-old, bubbling with ideas. "This is the best conference I've ever been to," she told me at the end of the three-day program "I can't wait to get back home and get to work."
I was excited for her. If there was ever someone who seemed charged up and ready to go, it was Bella.
When I saw her at bootcamp the following year, I asked her how her copywriting career had been progressing. "Well, I got derailed," she admitted. First, there was her father's death. That stopped her in her tracks. Then, she took a new job in another city. By the time she had adjusted to that, she figured she'd be better off not trying to catch up. "I came to bootcamp this year ready to start again," she said proudly. "And I'm sure I'll succeed."
If attitude were all we needed to reach our goals, this woman was a future superstar. But attitude isn't enough. So I encouraged her to invest in ETR's goal-setting program: http://www.agora-inc.com/reports/700SDDGC/W700E996/.
"I can understand how emotionally devastating it must have been to lose your dad," I said. "And I know how unsettling a new job and a new location can be. But if you make this goal -- becoming a copywriter -- your primary goal right now and follow our goal-setting program, nothing will distract you. You will be able to deal with any interruptions in your life. (I didn't think I had to mention that life is always full of interruptions.) But while doing so, you'll keep making progress toward your primary goal."
She agreed to invest in the goal-setting program and I didn't see her again for two years. This time, when I saw her at bootcamp and inquired about her progress, she was defensive. "I don't have the luxury of being able to spend six hours a day practicing my copywriting skills," she told me. "I've got a full-time job, a charity I work for, friends, family . . ."
I didn't want to remind her that virtually everyone I've ever mentored has been in exactly the same position -- or worse. And I didn't want to tell her that when I was her age I held two full-time jobs and was married and had social obligations. What was the point in fighting with her anyway? She wasn't going to change. At least I was not going to be able to talk her into doing it.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she'd decided that what she wanted to do was just what she was doing:
* continuing with a life that she herself described as "unfulfilling"
* investing a week and a couple of thousand dollars every few years to come to a copywriting bootcamp and make herself feel better about her future
"I just need to get motivated again," she told me.
"Aha," I said. "Well, I hope we can do that for you."

I suppose it's OK to live your life this way. Who am I to tell this lady how to spend her time? Still, it makes me uncomfortable to see someone waste the kind of opportunity we are providing.

Every year, because of the instruction and encouragement they receive at the Agora Learning Institute copywriting bootcamps, dozens of people make the transition from employees to self-employed freelance writers. Many of them make the jump successfully after taking our basic copywriting course and even before finishing our Master's program. (We prefer to "polish" our students before we expose them to the professional world.) There is nothing we like better than to receive that handwritten note or e-mail telling us, "Wow! I just got my first professional job!" or "Guess what? My latest package became a control! I got paid $5,000 for a job that took me less than a week to finish!"

What makes the difference between those who succeed and those that don't?
Here's what I think: Successful "life changers" don't wait for everything to be "right."

They don't wait for:
* their personal lives to sort themselves out* or their work to settle down* or the projects they are working on to be completed* or the new additions to their houses to be finished* or the problems with their in-laws to be resolved
Or . . . to be inspired.

A little more than a week ago, Robert Ringer made a point of this in his speech at the end of this year's overlapping wealth-building and copywriting bootcamps. He said that he believes most successful people have this one trait in common:
They don't wait for motivation. They create motivation through action.

He gave his own experience as an example. "If I had to wait for motivation to write," he explained, "I never could have written all the books I've written. (He's written about a half-dozen excellent motivational books, including three best sellers.) "Like most writers, I spend many mornings staring at my typewriter, unmotivated and without any definite idea of what I'm going to write."
If he were in the habit of waiting for inspiration, he would spend too much time waiting, he said. What he does instead is "just start writing." It doesn't matter whether his initial writing is any good. So long as he keeps at it for an hour or two, he knows that something good will come along. "Motivation follows action," he said. And he said it again and again in that speech.
And I've said it many times too. In fact, it was the primary message of my opening remarks at this year's bootcamp. "Unless you have a goal, make it a priority, and find a way to act on it every day, your chances of succeeding are very slim."

Another speaker, Frank McKinney, a multimillionaire real estate developer, made the same point. "You don't need to wait until you are an expert to start making money in real estate. Get to know your local area by doing a little bit of work every day. Before you know it, you'll have a good idea about what to buy and when to sell, and then you'll be on your way to wealth and financial independence. But you have to start right away. Start immediately and then keep going. Do something every day, even if it's only something that takes five or 10 minutes."

My old friend Bella was back this year. She is 41 years old now and looking a little older than that. After Robert Ringer's speech, I had a chance to talk to her. "It was great," she said. "I'm really stoked."
"What was it he said that made the biggest impression on you?" I asked.
"He made me feel that one of these days I'm going to get a signal from someone, and then my life is going to change."
"And in the meantime?" I asked.
"In the meantime? Oh, I don't know. But I'm really looking forward to getting that signal!"

SOME QUOTES FOR POSITIVITY

LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS: "We're never so vulnerable as when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy."--Walter Anderson

LEADERSHIP/SUCCESS: We can't all be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by. --Will Rogers

MOTIVATION/INSPIRATION: I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge that myth is more potent than history that dreams are more powerful than facts that hope always triumphs over experience that laughter is the only cure for grief and I believe that love is stronger than death. --Robert Fulgham

People will forget what you said ... people will forget what you did...but people will never forget how you made them feel.

the above is from positivenews weekly.

Monday, October 18, 2004

gently with the flow

Inspiration-To-Go"There's no thrill in easy sailing ... but thereIS satisfaction that's mighty sweet to take,when you reach a destination that youthought you'd never make." ~ Spirella
October 18, 2004

If the sky above seems cloudy, and you are left out in the rain,
If you are searching for a rainbow, but the colors bring you pain,
If your world is not revolving, and there is no end in sight,
If you are looking for the sunshine, but all you see is night,
If all around are smiling, but all you can do is frown,
If you are tired of all this living, when life just brings you down,
Then look beyond your teardrops, at the wonders of this land,
The beauty of a flower, like velvet in your hand.
Feel the air around you, the smell of new mown hay,
Laughing children in the park, the innocence there at play,
Imagine floating with a butterfly, as she flutters between the trees,
Or the whispers of the ocean, on warm hot summer's breeze,
Think of the taste of candy floss, as it melts upon your tongue,
Or the melody of morning birds, as they greet each day with song,
Remember words of beauty, told in your mother's embrace,
Feel the gentleness of her touch, as she softly kissed your face,
Seek the good within you, cast the clouds from your sky,
Don't look toward the pavement, but hold your head up high,
Think not what life owes you, but of all you have to give,
Forget about tomorrow, then you can start to live.
So bless this age you are living in, with the gifts you can bestow,
Don't disregard the stream of life, Go gently with the flow.
~ © Shawnee Kellie

positive news

hi frens,

i have set up this blog to share the positive ideas in every aspects of life. i am talking about positivity in the family, with frens, with colleagues, with people or things we cant get along with, with every living and non living thing in existence or anything at all.

this is an open forum for all and please fill free to add new sites or new ideas you have read anywhere, either in print form or in the internet. Please acknowledge your sources, because i believe that credit should always be given to the originator or any source. Credits should be given immediately when it is due and to the right person/s.

i encourage any person with any problem and need an ear to talk to please feel free to put your post too, and i shall try to help in whatever way I can. Help will be given by encouraging you to talk about your problem and come to terms with it in a positive environment. I am not promising immediate solutions but i can assure you that the internet has enough information for us to realise how to reconcile with our problems. You would also be directed to positive sites to read more about your problems.

ok i hope you understand the jist of the matters that we are goin to discuss here. please feel free to give your suggestions and ideas. I am very open to ideas, however ridiculous it may sound.

bye, sham


Sunday, October 17, 2004

food for thought positively

Happiness Without PrescriptionBy Heather J. Tait
As life and lifestyles speed up, so does the growing increase of the sense of longing, wandering just what else is there for ourselves, our families. Some people address their thoughts and feelings as valid and some do the exact opposite, they act as if those questions don't exist.
For those that avoid the inner questions, they tend to feel uncertainty, depression, and weighed down. Then they seem to wonder what is wrong with them. The truth is, nothing is wrong, their bodies are doing exactly what they were intended to do... alert you that something in your life needs attention.
Our bodies are amazing because they really do work together with our personal well-being. When we take care of ourselves, our bodies function as they should naturally. When we subject ourselves to negative behaviors and lifestyles, our bodies pay the price. You may not be able to always see the repercussions of negative behavior right away, but it does take its toll in the long term.
Our behaviors can trigger messages from our bodies. Ever wonder why you get sick after being stressed? Or why being around negative people leaves you feeling exhausted? This is just your body's way of sending out a warning sign that your well-being is being subjected to something that causes imbalance.
Some people stop and listen to their body's signals and others choose to try and prevent them without getting to the root of the problem. They try to "numb" their instincts with outside stimulants, which leads to an additional source of negative behavior.
If we take the time to hear what our mind and bodies have to say, we just may find that the answers we were looking for were right in front of us, we were just too busy looking around to see.
Artist and inspirational writer Heather J. Tait began her career as a professional artist back in 1997 in Morgan Hill, CA. She has over 160 pieces of original work (with inspirational quotes that correspond to each piece) available as ecards for Tools for Transformation readers here: Silence Speaks eCards.
Heather was also recently inducted into the Who's Who of American Women 2004-2005. Read more of her journals at Silence Speaks and in our future newsletters.
5 Ways To Help Your Kids Do MathBy Murdo Macleod
Uh oh. Your kids arrive home with their school reports and it's poor marks from the math department. Now what do you do?
You may not be a math teacher, but thankfully there are ways you can help your kids improve their grades. Studies have shown that children are much more likely to perform well in a subject that interests them. So here are 5 ways to get your kids excited about math and actually look forward to the next math class:
Inspire them.Some kids don't enjoy math because they just can't see the point of it. Unlike reading or painting, all those mathematical symbols and numbers don't seem to mean anything. What you need to do is show them how important math is in the real world. Tell them stories about the great engineering feats throughout history. From building the great pyramids of Egypt, to the Hoover dam, to the latest space missions to Mars, nothing would have been achieved without mathematics, and mathematicians.
Get practical.Involve your kids in some real world math away from the classroom. Find something your child is interested in and relate it to math in some way. For example, do they like baseball? Terrific. During a game, ask them how many points the losing team has to score to beat the other one. And how many games do they need to win before they have enough points to win the league? If they enjoy helping around the home then let them do the "clever stuff." Ask them to work out the sizes for that wood you're going to cut. Or get them to measure out the ingredients for the cake you're about to bake. When you're in a store, ask your kids to add up the prices and keep a running total while you shop. Then ask them how much change you should expect at the checkout.
Take life "step-by-step."Success in math - as in life - is largely about breaking large projects down into manageable, bite-sized pieces. Many kids feel overwhelmed when they see a list of math questions, and it's at this point they may decide that math is "boring" or "hard." Show them the magic of taking one question at a time, and breaking it into tiny steps that make it easy.
Encourage creativity.Kids may become mentally "stuck" on a topic because they're only looking at it in one way. Perhaps they need to step outside the box and see it from a different angle. Show them the beauty of alternative viewpoints. Help them to see situations from other people's perspective. Get them into the habit of exploring different ways of solving a problem. Even something simple like tidying up a room can have several possible "solutions" or ways of approaching it. Crosswords and lateral thinking puzzles are good for this kind of flexible thinking.
Be positive.Eliminate negative statements like "math is hard" (even if you thought of yourself as a math dunce at school!). Explain how everyone has a natural ability to do math and that solving math problems isn't so different from solving other kinds of problems in life. Above all, inspire confidence in your kids. Teach them persistence and how there's always a solution to every problem.
We all perform better when we enjoy what we do, and getting kids interested in math is the real key to success. They may not turn into mathematical geniuses, but they'll thank you in later life when they enter the world of work and start counting their salaries. Now who said your kids couldn't do math?
Copyright (c) 2004 Fun With Figures. All rights reserved.The "Fun With Figures" mental math course shows anyone from age 8 and up the easy way to do impressive mental calculations. Read more in this fascinating free PDF download: The Long-Lost Secrets of Mental Math (PDF)
"I'm Thinking... But I'm not Growing Rich!"By Bob Doyle
So you've read "Think and Grow Rich", and you've got an intellectual understanding that you "become what you think about". You have a list of affirmations about wealth, and you recite them every day. But you still have no money. Wealth doesn't seem to be anywhere around. What's the deal here? According to Napoleon Hill, you ought to be filthy stinkin' rich, right? Well, here's the real deal: If you're not "Wealth Conscious", than all this thinking, and all this affirming isn't going to bring you wealth. Thinking, and affirming are simply actions you're taking. But they are just PART of the sequence of creating wealth. If you skip the FIRST step, you simply can't get anywhere.
So what's the first step? Being. To attract wealth, you first have to BE wealthy. THEN, you think wealthy thoughts, speak wealthy affirmations, and take wealthy action.
"But how can I BE wealthy if I'm NOT wealthy?" you ask. Logical question, but it's based on the false assumption that you don't have wealth. You HAVE wealth. You're simply not aware of it. You have constructed a physical reality that prevents you from experiencing Wealth. This can all be explained with the science of Quantum Physics.
So let's look at some very basic concepts of Quantum Physics that will explain what I'm talking about. First, you probably are aware - at least on an intellectual level - that at a subatomic level, we, and everything else in the Universe, is Energy. When you break everything down, we're all made of the same stuff, and we're all connected. The Universe is just this huge ocean of Energy, vibrating at various frequencies which gives the illusion of individuation. That is, we experience the illusion of separateness from each other, physical objects, and wealth because our "senses" are decoding the Energy around us in such a way as to create our physical reality. This all happens in our thoughts.
So, to simplify things quickly here for the sake of time (another illusion), "things" only exist because we observe them. It is in our observing that things come into existence. Without our observing, things are simply "waves" - probabilities of existence. Physicists agree on this.
Our beliefs are a very powerful Energy system in our lives. Our beliefs allow or disallow certain experiences in our lives, including wealth.They make up who we are. We "BE" in the world according to our beliefs. If we are being is "someone who is trying to get wealthy by repeating affirmations", then THAT is what our reality will be. We will just be TRYING to get wealthy.
We have to make the decision that we ARE wealthy, contrary to any external physical evidence. That evidence is an illusion based on the belief systems that have guided who we have been being up to that point.
A truly wealthy person isn't wealthy because they have money. They have money, because they are wealthy! That's the distinction that most people have backward!
Here's an example to illustrate what I mean:
Tony Robbins became a millionaire at a very young age. Then, due to a series of poor judgments, he lost it. But within a year, he had it back. How did he do this? HE NEVER LOST HIS WEALTH. He only lost his money, which is just a symbol of wealth! Because he is "Wealth Conscious", he literally "magnetically attracts" wealth into his life. He truly can't help it! It's who he is! And there are thousand out there like him, who attract wealth simply because it's who they are. You can make the same decision and have the same results.
Conversely, a person who has grown up with "lack consciousness" can win millions in the lottery and lose it within a year. Their consciousness - their ENERGY - simply can't maintain the attraction to Wealth because they aren't "wealthy" in who they are being.
But again, Wealth is a decision. If you aren't currently experiencing wealth, you first need to realize that abundance is everywhere...in fact it's all there is. Poverty and lack are the illusions. You can shift your consciousness to Wealth - BE Wealth - by simply making the decision, THEN your thoughts, speech, and action will allow you to experience the wealth that is yours!
This is indeed a complex subject which challenges our core belief systems. But it is those very belief systems that keep a person in a state of lack.
Look at your financial situation today. Look at your core beliefs about Wealth and You, and see if your life isn't a PERFECT reflection of your beliefs. Then, look where those beliefs may have originated. When you can awaken to yourself that your beliefs create your reality, rather than the other way around, you have the option to truly be free to experience a reality of prosperity that you deserve!
Bob Doyle is the CEO and founder of Boundless Living and the developer of the "Wealth Beyond Reason" program, which provides a continuing education of the physics of wealth, abundance, and joyous living through the Law of Attraction...
Wealth Beyond Reason
Genius is Born of LoveBy Irene Segal
"Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius."--Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756-1791)
Genius is born of love. Love transcends social and economic order. Love is something that every human being is born with regardless of their financial or social station. If we can transcend what does not really matter, if we can attach our self to love we can cleave to a higher order and achieve genius.
How can we achieve love? By realizing that true love is unconditional. It is a birthright that is not born of ego,self-absorption or entitlement. Rather it is a place of purpose, passion and meaning that starts with reclaiming our joy. How can we reclaim our joy? Embracing joy starts with deciding to begin each day by taking out our personal garbage.
What is personal garbage? It is the negative stuff that the normal wear and tear of modern life brings us. It is that ugly, smelly stuff that holds us back from experiencing joy and meaning. It is what we find when we want a quick fix, an easy pass to fulfillment, or a scapegoat for disappointment.
Where do we find personal garbage? Everywhere. Personal garbage festers in our ego, in the demands of others, in the negativity that surrounds us, in just turning on the tv and being barraged by violence, in deciding to live life without meaning, in forgetting to hear our voice, losing our authenticity, in getting too busy and too distracted to listen to our heart. Garbage grows as we ingest more and more junk, more and more emotional toxins.
People and incidents can throw garbage at our feet or in our faces, but we have the personal power to start each day by taking out our garbage. Find the garbage removal steps that work for you. Rid yourself of rancid, negative, emotional toxins. Experiment with a different garbage removal step every day. Most importantly, learn to begin again each morning, to jumpstart your love, your genius, by getting rid of your PERSONAL GARBAGE. Here are some of the steps that work for me:
Start your day by just taking the garbage out. Decide to let go of what you cannot change and just embrace what you can do today to bring more love, more satisfaction into your life.
Decide to get happy. Get silly and embrace your inner child. Jump out of bed. Make funny faces in the mirror. Remember and recite the first joke you every told anyone. Do whatever brings you back to the happiest day you had as a kid. Get happy!
Chose to get active with your personal joy. If you are sad, then there is even more reason to get out of bed, take off any clothing and just jump naked in joy. Jump for joy. If you run or exercise in the morning, try doing your morning routine with a smile.
Share a joke or a smile with someone that you do not know today. Pass joy along and see it come right back to you.
Appreciate someone in your life whom you do not usually recognize. That's right; tell your colleague, your spouse, your child, your co-worker something about him/her that you appreciate.
Put stress and trash on hold. Take pause a couple of times a day. Put your brain in what science tells us is our most creative state, the alpha state. Find a place where you can sit for 3 minutes undisturbed. Sit in a chair with your palms up in your lap, your back straight. Close your eyes and start to breathe deeply from your diaphragm. Breathe to the count of five slowly through your nose, and breathe out to the count of 10. Do not let any thoughts enter your brain, just concentrate on counting in to 5 and out to 10. If a thought gets in there, just gently push it away. Try the pause twice a day. Embrace a state of not thinking of just being one with your breath, with your life force.
Embrace a human moment, a higher moment, and give something away. If you are having a particularly difficult day, or you are feeling sad or depressed, step out of the comfort zone, move past self absorption and give something away. If you are having a good day, move forward and make it better by giving something away. Your time, a donation, a smile, a hug, your help. Give it away with no expectation of gain. Yours in service and in joy, Irene
'Just Joy' is a free weekly newsletter that comes from the heart with the sole purpose of spreading a joy chain from one continent to the next. There is no gain to writing and spreading 'Just Joy' once a week except paying Joy forward. I would so appreciate it if you could help me pay Joy forward by spreading 'Just Joy' to friends and colleagues who would appreciate a weekly infusion of joy. Subscription to 'Just Joy' is on the front page of my website or by emailing: justjoy@justcoachit.com.
Gateway Two: Falling in Love with OurselvesBy Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
This is an extremely important gateway. This gateway is achieved after we have made efforts to reclaim and honor our talents, capacities, strengths, lost potential and coping skills.
Now we are ready. We no longer break our hearts by putting ourselves down and saying "No, no, you can't do that," or "You're stupid." Now we are ready to say, "Yes, I love myself. I have a lot to offer. I am capable of having fun. I am capable of doing good, and no one can sidetrack me from who I really am."
When you fall in love with yourself, you begin to feel the positive self-esteem that comes when we don't deflate ourselves. You're ready to take yourself out for tea or to that wonderful spa for a day, or to go back and play the piano, which you always wanted to do. You're ready to recognize all the tools of wisdom that you have to offer. You're ready to recognize that you have an Enchanted Self that deserves to be part of your every day.
When you love yourself, you know when you need help. You know when you need guidance. It isn't a narcissistic love where you feel that you are perfect. It's a love of yourself, as you would love a child. If the child is ill, you take the child to the doctor. If the child comes home with a good paper from school, you put it on the refrigerator. It's a self-acknowledgment that makes you viable, real, and whole. Now you've become really ready to see the story of your life in a positive light. Even the disappointments, even tragedies have served only to hone you like tempered steel. You've been through the battles and have emerged stronger. You're in charge of your own self, a most wonderful feeling!
Case VignetteCharlotte was constantly demeaned and criticized by her husband. Once she fell in love with herself, she had the courage to no longer put up with his attacks. When he became verbally abusive, she left the house and indicated that if he was not in a better mood and could not behave more appropriately when she returned home, she would leave for good.
Her husband slowly mended his ways and became less verbally inappropriate as time went on. And because Charlotte had learned to love herself, she found that she was able to do what she needed to do for herself. This included becoming more independent and spending time away from her husband.
Perhaps another woman would have left, but for her it made sense to build a world that still included him, but also included her own time for herself for sports, spas, individual time with her grandchildren, time to enjoy music, time alone with women friends.
Although she stayed, she had become strong. Her love of herself made her conceivably able to leave at any point in time if she was not treated appropriately. Her husband realized this, and did not test the waters too deeply. A satisfactory conclusion had been reached, due to Charlotte's "new" self.
Positive Activity for YouThink about the story of your life. Think about it in positive terms where every hurdle ultimately resulted in some wisdom or in a turn in the road which had some good in it. Start to tell the story of your life to yourself, making yourself the heroine, and remember to make yourself a lovable heroine. You may find yourself going over the same material that we've talked about before, merely giving it a different twist to more clearly identify your talents, strengths and potential. Enjoy the positive story of your life. Discover how special you really are.