A little girl was playing in her mother's garden one day and noticed a butterfly working its way out of a cocoon. Shewatched for the longest time as the butterflystruggled and fought for its freedom. Aftera while she began to feel sad for the butterfly and wanted to do something to help it break free. She carefully removed the cocoon from the branch it had been attached to and began gently pulling away fibers. Soon she joyfully freed the butterfly and heldit high towards the sky.
The butterfly stood tall in the palm of her handlooking towards the rich and beautiful flowers. It began moving it's tiny, dull gray wings, but no matter how hard it tried it could not rise intothe sky. Having been pushed out of it's cocoon too soon, it's wings had not had time to fully develop and it would never be able to fly.
Sometimes in our well meaning efforts to save others from pain, grief, or struggle we can do more harm than good. Everyone evolves in their own way and time. We can always offer love, support, and encouragement to help others through difficult change. But more often than not it is best to allow them their own personal process as they move through transformation.
Love and Blessings
Monday, June 27, 2005
Friday, June 24, 2005
YOU’RE OKAY- u r not fully hatched
It’s not easy…to be someone. who so easily falls. Because, when you fall you have to pick yourself up…that is, if you want to get anywhere. Someone who falls frequently…has stronger muscles in different places, than someone who doesn’t fall very often:Why?Well, to get up you use your arms,your hands, your legs,your stomach and buttocks your back muscles, (and brain).So, in some ways, you are stronger than those who don’t fall as often! And, after you have pulled yourself upyou must look up - with head held high. In order to see where you are going…Yea! And, once you pull yourself upyou have to catch your breath,and gain your composure —take one uncertain step. And, after that —take another…You see —if you are going to get anywhere close to where you’re are aiming for all those strong muscles will come in to play —And, eventually,you’ll see —the result will be…unusual balance, unusual poise —And hey,your hard-won victory???It will be clothed,in well-deserved dignity!
~ By N.O. Tate (Reprinted with Permission) ~ "We all struggle, we all fall. But, it is especially disheartening to watch the struggles of a disabled person, who, when attempting to learn a new skill, has to repeat the same exercise over and over again until their mind/body connection becomes firmly established. We should not turn our eyes from their struggles ...because... we could learn much from them about the power of tenacity." ~N.O. Tate
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How to Have A happy Marriage
1. Never both be angry at the same time.
2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
3. If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate.Remember, it takes two to make a quarrel
4. If you feel you must criticize, do so lovingly.
5. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
6. Neglect the whole world rather than one another.
7. Never go to sleep mad.
8. If you have a choice between making yourself oryour mate look good — choose your mate
9. Always meet and depart with an affectionate greeting.
10. Spend quality time together — having a profound conversation,taking a long nature walk, sharing a hobby or project.
11. Never let the day end without saying at leastone kind or complimentary thing to your life partner.
12. When you have done something wrong,be ready to admit it and ask to be forgiven.
~ A letter published in "Dear Abby" from a couple who reachedtheir 50th anniversary and successfully made their marriage a promise for life.
Secret of the Longest MarriageLONDON (Reuters) - Percy and Florence Arrowsmith married on June 1, 1925, celebrated their 80th anniversary this month. The Guinness World Records said the couple held the title for the longest marriage and for the oldest married couple's aggregate age. "I think we're very blessed," Florence, 100, told the BBC. "We still love one another, that's the most important part." Asked for their secret, Florence said, "afraid to sayYou must never be 'sorry.' You must never go to sleep bad friends," she said, while Percy, 105, said his secret to marital bliss was just two words: "yes dear."
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2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
3. If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate.Remember, it takes two to make a quarrel
4. If you feel you must criticize, do so lovingly.
5. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
6. Neglect the whole world rather than one another.
7. Never go to sleep mad.
8. If you have a choice between making yourself oryour mate look good — choose your mate
9. Always meet and depart with an affectionate greeting.
10. Spend quality time together — having a profound conversation,taking a long nature walk, sharing a hobby or project.
11. Never let the day end without saying at leastone kind or complimentary thing to your life partner.
12. When you have done something wrong,be ready to admit it and ask to be forgiven.
~ A letter published in "Dear Abby" from a couple who reachedtheir 50th anniversary and successfully made their marriage a promise for life.
Secret of the Longest MarriageLONDON (Reuters) - Percy and Florence Arrowsmith married on June 1, 1925, celebrated their 80th anniversary this month. The Guinness World Records said the couple held the title for the longest marriage and for the oldest married couple's aggregate age. "I think we're very blessed," Florence, 100, told the BBC. "We still love one another, that's the most important part." Asked for their secret, Florence said, "afraid to sayYou must never be 'sorry.' You must never go to sleep bad friends," she said, while Percy, 105, said his secret to marital bliss was just two words: "yes dear."
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Sunday, June 05, 2005
A WAKE UP CALL
The Wooden Bowl
I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, aweek from now, a month from now, a year from now.A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, andfour-year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight wasblurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table.But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eatingdifficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped theglass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about Grandfather," said the son. I've had enough of hisspilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.
So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There,Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. SinceGrandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a woodenbowl.When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple hadfor him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.The four-year-old watched it all in silence.
One evening before supper,the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. Heasked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boyresponded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat yourfood in when I grow up." The four- year- old smiled and went back towork.The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tearsstarted to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, bothknew what must be done. That evening the husband took Grandfather's handand gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of hisdays he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neitherhusband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped,
milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.People will forget what you said ... people will forget what youdid...but people will never forget how you made them feel.
I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, aweek from now, a month from now, a year from now.A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, andfour-year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight wasblurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table.But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eatingdifficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped theglass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about Grandfather," said the son. I've had enough of hisspilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.
So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There,Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. SinceGrandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a woodenbowl.When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple hadfor him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.The four-year-old watched it all in silence.
One evening before supper,the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. Heasked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boyresponded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat yourfood in when I grow up." The four- year- old smiled and went back towork.The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tearsstarted to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, bothknew what must be done. That evening the husband took Grandfather's handand gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of hisdays he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neitherhusband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped,
milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.People will forget what you said ... people will forget what youdid...but people will never forget how you made them feel.
stop, recharge, reboot and reconfigure
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.” Emerson.
I often get emails from readers and subscribers of Just Joy thanking me for lessons that helped them do better and live better, and often I am told that I am trying to create a revolution of positive power and values. To those special people out there who take the time to write to me with your comments and also stories of how Just Joy has helped you, a very sincere thank you. Thanks to YOU we are now a growing community of 2000 Just Joyers across the globe.
I would like to use this Just Joy to talk about revolution because revolutions of thought and action have punctuated and changed human history; sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad. But, inherent in the concept of revolution is an uprooting of all that was, a rape of the present and often the past to create the future.
Do we really need a revolution to make our lives more fulfilling, meaningful and prosperous? Do we need a revolution to wake up and realize that stuff is wonderful, but it is the side dish in life…the main dish is living our passion and our purpose and contributing, sharing our humanity, our ideas with others. Do we really need a revolution to change the social and personal disconnection we have created that makes us feel lonely and isolated from one another? Do we really need a revolution to stop the unabashed growth of self interest that in the end will only kill the quality of our lives, our families, our relationships our economy and our world?
As we look at the landscape of our lives, our businesses and our world very few of us can say that we are not sitting in the middle of stress mess, of a bed that we do not really want to lie in because of the pervasive misalignment that sits deep in our chest, deep in our hearts and preys on our minds when we are reminded of the fact that life, work and the world appear to be getting more difficult than ever before, and the leadership that we used to look up to seems to have run to the hills that we can no longer see.
We all know what we need in our lives, in our businesses and in our world. A climate of trust, a society with organizations, corporations and businesses that empower people to improve their own performance and to help others do the same. A culture of transparent communication and collaboration where we learn and teach each other to do better, live better, think better and create better solutions that drive our passion, our purpose and the engine of innovation and execution that makes or breaks our economy.
I don’t think that we need a revolution. I also don’t think that we need a miracle. Rather I think that we need to stop, recharge, reboot and reconfigure because we each have the miracle inside us that can move our lives, our businesses and our world forward. If we are living in a vortex of change, in the eye of a storm where values driven servant leadership is getting more difficult to find it is because we do not need a revolution we need an EVOLUTION OF SELF. We need to get rid of the nasty wrinkles of judgment, anger, frustration, envy and ego that sap our true power and potential to live better, lead better and do better. Metaphorically speaking, I think it is time to botox our heads and our hearts so that we can remove the wrinkles that keep us from realigning head and heart and kick start an evolution of thought, progress and human decency
Well, you may ask, “If it is so simple, then why are we still spinning our wheels while getting stuck in the mud?” Clearly smart is not enough, or the world would be perfect. I think that the pace of life and work and the full force of ego distract us from remembering what we really want and need. We get caught in the details that do not really matter that much and forget to listen to our heart, to hear our soul…and if we use our head, without an alignment of head, heart and soul nothing will ever change.
It is time for an evolution of thinking, doing and being that can start in small ways and grow bigger. It can start this second just be taking one hour or one day to ask “How can I be of service to another?” “What random act of sharing can I give someone else today?”
Think about it. What can YOU do today that will help YOUR evolution as a personal leader? To quote a great man whose great words speak louder today than ever before: “What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.” Emerson.
I often get emails from readers and subscribers of Just Joy thanking me for lessons that helped them do better and live better, and often I am told that I am trying to create a revolution of positive power and values. To those special people out there who take the time to write to me with your comments and also stories of how Just Joy has helped you, a very sincere thank you. Thanks to YOU we are now a growing community of 2000 Just Joyers across the globe.
I would like to use this Just Joy to talk about revolution because revolutions of thought and action have punctuated and changed human history; sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad. But, inherent in the concept of revolution is an uprooting of all that was, a rape of the present and often the past to create the future.
Do we really need a revolution to make our lives more fulfilling, meaningful and prosperous? Do we need a revolution to wake up and realize that stuff is wonderful, but it is the side dish in life…the main dish is living our passion and our purpose and contributing, sharing our humanity, our ideas with others. Do we really need a revolution to change the social and personal disconnection we have created that makes us feel lonely and isolated from one another? Do we really need a revolution to stop the unabashed growth of self interest that in the end will only kill the quality of our lives, our families, our relationships our economy and our world?
As we look at the landscape of our lives, our businesses and our world very few of us can say that we are not sitting in the middle of stress mess, of a bed that we do not really want to lie in because of the pervasive misalignment that sits deep in our chest, deep in our hearts and preys on our minds when we are reminded of the fact that life, work and the world appear to be getting more difficult than ever before, and the leadership that we used to look up to seems to have run to the hills that we can no longer see.
We all know what we need in our lives, in our businesses and in our world. A climate of trust, a society with organizations, corporations and businesses that empower people to improve their own performance and to help others do the same. A culture of transparent communication and collaboration where we learn and teach each other to do better, live better, think better and create better solutions that drive our passion, our purpose and the engine of innovation and execution that makes or breaks our economy.
I don’t think that we need a revolution. I also don’t think that we need a miracle. Rather I think that we need to stop, recharge, reboot and reconfigure because we each have the miracle inside us that can move our lives, our businesses and our world forward. If we are living in a vortex of change, in the eye of a storm where values driven servant leadership is getting more difficult to find it is because we do not need a revolution we need an EVOLUTION OF SELF. We need to get rid of the nasty wrinkles of judgment, anger, frustration, envy and ego that sap our true power and potential to live better, lead better and do better. Metaphorically speaking, I think it is time to botox our heads and our hearts so that we can remove the wrinkles that keep us from realigning head and heart and kick start an evolution of thought, progress and human decency
Well, you may ask, “If it is so simple, then why are we still spinning our wheels while getting stuck in the mud?” Clearly smart is not enough, or the world would be perfect. I think that the pace of life and work and the full force of ego distract us from remembering what we really want and need. We get caught in the details that do not really matter that much and forget to listen to our heart, to hear our soul…and if we use our head, without an alignment of head, heart and soul nothing will ever change.
It is time for an evolution of thinking, doing and being that can start in small ways and grow bigger. It can start this second just be taking one hour or one day to ask “How can I be of service to another?” “What random act of sharing can I give someone else today?”
Think about it. What can YOU do today that will help YOUR evolution as a personal leader? To quote a great man whose great words speak louder today than ever before: “What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.” Emerson.
CHARISMA - VALUES OF LIFE
The Power of Charisma
by Brian Tracy
Charisma is a special quality that, to some degree, every person has. You have charisma to the people who look up to you, who respect and admire you - the members of your family and your friends and coworkers. Whenever and wherever one person feels a positive emotion toward another, he imbues that person with the power of charisma.
If you're in sales, charisma can have a major impact on the way your prospects and customers deal with you.
If you're in business, charisma can help you tremendously in working with your staff, your suppliers, your bankers, your customers, and everyone else upon whom you depend.
In your personal relationships, the quality of charisma can make your life more joyous. People will naturally want to be around you because you make them happy. Your influence on them makes them feel better about themselves and want to do better at the important things in their lives.
There is a close association between personal charisma and success in life. The more positively others respond to you, the easier it will be for you to get the things you want.
You were born with certain qualities that make you naturally more or less charismatic. Nevertheless, you can enhance those qualities by developing the 10 great powers of personality that seem to have a major impact on the way people think and feel about you.
1. The power of purpose.
People with charisma and personal magnetism almost invariably have a clear vision of who they are, of where they're going, and of what they're trying to achieve. They're focused on accomplishing some great purpose. They're decisive about every aspect of their lives. They know exactly what they want and what they have to do to get it. They plan their work and work their plan.
2. The power of self-confidence.
People with charisma have an intense belief in themselves and in what they are doing. They are usually calm, cool, and composed about themselves and their work. Your level of self-confidence is often demonstrated in your courage, your willingness to do whatever is necessary to achieve a purpose that you believe in.
3. The power of enthusiasm.
The more excited you are about accomplishing something that is important to you, the more excited others will be about helping you do it. The fact is that emotions are contagious. The more passion you have for your life and your activities, the more charisma you will possess and the more cooperation you will gain from others. Every great man or woman has been totally committed to a noble cause and, as a result, has attracted the support and encouragement of others - in many cases, thousands or millions of others.
4. The power of expertise.
The more knowledgeable you are perceived to be in your field, the more charisma you will have among those who respect and admire that knowledge. This is also the power of excellence, of being recognized by others as an outstanding performer. People who do their jobs extremely well and who are recognized for the quality of their work are those who naturally attract the help and support of others.
5. The power of thorough preparation.
Whether you are calling on a prospect, meeting with your boss, giving a public talk, or making any other kind of presentation, when you are well-prepared, it becomes clear to everyone. The careers of many young people are put onto the fast track as a result of their coming to an important meeting after having done all their homework.
6. The power of self-reliance.
The most successful people are intensely self-reliant. They look to themselves for the answers to their questions and problems. They never complain, and they never explain. They take complete ownership of projects. They volunteer for duties and step forward to accept accountability when things go wrong.
7. The power of image.
There is both interpersonal image and intrapersonal image. Intrapersonal image, or self-image, is the way you see yourself and think about yourself in any situation. This has an impact on the way you perform and on the way others see you and think about you. Interpersonal image is the appearance that you convey. Successful people are very aware of how they are coming across to others. They take a good deal of time to think through every aspect of their external appearance to assure that it is helping them rather than hurting them.
8. The power of character.
People who possess the kind of charisma that arouses the enthusiastic support of others are invariably those with integrity. They are extremely realistic and honest with themselves and others. They have very clear ideals, and they continually aspire to live up to the highest that is in them. They speak well of people, knowing that everything they say is being remembered and recorded. They are aware that everything they do adds to or detracts from the way they are perceived.
9. The power of self-discipline.
Charismatic people are highly controlled. They have a tremendous sense of inner calm and outer resolve. They are well-organized, and they always demonstrate willpower and determination.
10. The power of result-orientation - which underlies all of the other personality powers.
In the final analysis, people ascribe charisma to those men and women that they can count on to help them achieve important goals or objectives. Great salespeople, for example, are spoken about in the most positive way by their coworkers and superiors. So are people who are responsible for companies or departments that achieve high levels of profitability. They are perceived by others to be extraordinary men and women who are capable of great things. Their shortcomings are often overlooked, while their strong points are overemphasized. In other words, they become charismatic.
Charisma comes from working on yourself. It comes from liking and accepting yourself unconditionally as you do and say the specific things that develop within you a powerful, attractive personality.
You can develop the kind of charisma that opens doors for you by going to work on yourself, consistently and persistently, and becoming the kind of person everyone can admire and look up to. That's what charisma is all about.
by Brian Tracy
Charisma is a special quality that, to some degree, every person has. You have charisma to the people who look up to you, who respect and admire you - the members of your family and your friends and coworkers. Whenever and wherever one person feels a positive emotion toward another, he imbues that person with the power of charisma.
If you're in sales, charisma can have a major impact on the way your prospects and customers deal with you.
If you're in business, charisma can help you tremendously in working with your staff, your suppliers, your bankers, your customers, and everyone else upon whom you depend.
In your personal relationships, the quality of charisma can make your life more joyous. People will naturally want to be around you because you make them happy. Your influence on them makes them feel better about themselves and want to do better at the important things in their lives.
There is a close association between personal charisma and success in life. The more positively others respond to you, the easier it will be for you to get the things you want.
You were born with certain qualities that make you naturally more or less charismatic. Nevertheless, you can enhance those qualities by developing the 10 great powers of personality that seem to have a major impact on the way people think and feel about you.
1. The power of purpose.
People with charisma and personal magnetism almost invariably have a clear vision of who they are, of where they're going, and of what they're trying to achieve. They're focused on accomplishing some great purpose. They're decisive about every aspect of their lives. They know exactly what they want and what they have to do to get it. They plan their work and work their plan.
2. The power of self-confidence.
People with charisma have an intense belief in themselves and in what they are doing. They are usually calm, cool, and composed about themselves and their work. Your level of self-confidence is often demonstrated in your courage, your willingness to do whatever is necessary to achieve a purpose that you believe in.
3. The power of enthusiasm.
The more excited you are about accomplishing something that is important to you, the more excited others will be about helping you do it. The fact is that emotions are contagious. The more passion you have for your life and your activities, the more charisma you will possess and the more cooperation you will gain from others. Every great man or woman has been totally committed to a noble cause and, as a result, has attracted the support and encouragement of others - in many cases, thousands or millions of others.
4. The power of expertise.
The more knowledgeable you are perceived to be in your field, the more charisma you will have among those who respect and admire that knowledge. This is also the power of excellence, of being recognized by others as an outstanding performer. People who do their jobs extremely well and who are recognized for the quality of their work are those who naturally attract the help and support of others.
5. The power of thorough preparation.
Whether you are calling on a prospect, meeting with your boss, giving a public talk, or making any other kind of presentation, when you are well-prepared, it becomes clear to everyone. The careers of many young people are put onto the fast track as a result of their coming to an important meeting after having done all their homework.
6. The power of self-reliance.
The most successful people are intensely self-reliant. They look to themselves for the answers to their questions and problems. They never complain, and they never explain. They take complete ownership of projects. They volunteer for duties and step forward to accept accountability when things go wrong.
7. The power of image.
There is both interpersonal image and intrapersonal image. Intrapersonal image, or self-image, is the way you see yourself and think about yourself in any situation. This has an impact on the way you perform and on the way others see you and think about you. Interpersonal image is the appearance that you convey. Successful people are very aware of how they are coming across to others. They take a good deal of time to think through every aspect of their external appearance to assure that it is helping them rather than hurting them.
8. The power of character.
People who possess the kind of charisma that arouses the enthusiastic support of others are invariably those with integrity. They are extremely realistic and honest with themselves and others. They have very clear ideals, and they continually aspire to live up to the highest that is in them. They speak well of people, knowing that everything they say is being remembered and recorded. They are aware that everything they do adds to or detracts from the way they are perceived.
9. The power of self-discipline.
Charismatic people are highly controlled. They have a tremendous sense of inner calm and outer resolve. They are well-organized, and they always demonstrate willpower and determination.
10. The power of result-orientation - which underlies all of the other personality powers.
In the final analysis, people ascribe charisma to those men and women that they can count on to help them achieve important goals or objectives. Great salespeople, for example, are spoken about in the most positive way by their coworkers and superiors. So are people who are responsible for companies or departments that achieve high levels of profitability. They are perceived by others to be extraordinary men and women who are capable of great things. Their shortcomings are often overlooked, while their strong points are overemphasized. In other words, they become charismatic.
Charisma comes from working on yourself. It comes from liking and accepting yourself unconditionally as you do and say the specific things that develop within you a powerful, attractive personality.
You can develop the kind of charisma that opens doors for you by going to work on yourself, consistently and persistently, and becoming the kind of person everyone can admire and look up to. That's what charisma is all about.
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