Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Gd day all netizens.
After a long break I m back
Not wit vengeance tats negative but
Passion to engage,
Engage wit u all,
Think together n voice positive thots
Wit all yr support success  would jus flow
I have no doubts abt tis
So let's start a journey.....

Thursday, April 12, 2012


a personal liberty to share the following correspondence between my son, Brian, and me a few months before my first grandson was born.

Date: July 8, 2005
Subject: Mine

Well, I was taking a shower this evening and I came to a realization. I was taking a shower in my bathroom, in my house, because I had just finished cutting the grass in my yard with my lawnmower... my pregnant wife was watching T.V. in my living room with my dog at her feet... and after I got done brushing my teeth I realized...

I am now officially an adult.

And what's mine really belongs to my wife, my dog and my baby to be; but that's ok, because it's really all God's anyway ;-)

How has God blessed you today?


- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My Dear Son,

No, that does not necessarily mean you have to be an adult. The philosopher Bill Cosby says that women mature, but men remain adolescents all our lives. Hey, just look at me!

OK, so you are taking more responsibility, BUT don't let this adult thing go to your head! I mean, think about when "Peanut" gets to the age of having some of those really neat toys that you never had as a kid. You need to stay enough of an adolescent to be able to meet the kid's needs and play with them. you think the mother is going to do that? NO WAY! Somebody has to be the adult here, but that is NOT the dad's job!

And what about taking "Peanut" to the amusement park? If we leave it to the adults, they will be more concerned about the kid getting a little dirt on his/her new outfit that the grandparents gave him/her for Christmas, and then the kid will miss out on the therapeutic values of playing, and living in a dirty world. HEY, the whole world can't be air-conditioned, sanitized, and germ-free. As a responsible dad you have a role to maintain here! Who's going to ride all the rollercoasters in the front and the back and eat enough hotdogs and candy to help build strong stomachs. You think the moms will do that? No way! Listen, son, there is more to life than shopping and good table manners!

Think about what you are doing to the rest of us by raising the expectations that all dads should grow up and become adults! That expectation will only lead to conflict and household anarchy! It could put an end to the joy of apologies and making up after a childish reaction. Before marriage, we might have called that "making out." Making up is a great bonding experience for the marriage that we could lose if we all start acting like adults all the time.

You can take some responsibility--you know, cut the grass and keep the house in good repair. After all, those "responsibilities” are actually relaxing and fun (but don't let the women know that). Even helping to wash the dishes at night without being asked--that's really an act of lovemaking that scores points. Taking out the garbage? It gives you a good excuse to get out of the house and get some fresh air and even a little moment of quiet. Yeah, it's OK to take responsibility, just don't let this adult thing go to your head!

Besides, do you really think the house and all that stuff is YOURS? Yeah, try walking through the door with muddy shoes after working in "your” yard and see what happens!

Listen, since so many of these revelations seem to take place in the shower, you might consider... oops, sorry. I let this go on so long that your mom just told me I need to go take a shower and go to bed, since I have a long list of things to do tomorrow.

Remember my advice, son!

Your loving dad


Hint to the Leader

Don’t take yourself so seriously. Lighten up little. After all, it really isn’t all yours.

Hint to the Follower

See Hint to the Leader

Wednesday, September 28, 2011


An excerpt from Leading with Passion
by John J. Murphy

Light a match in a dark room and watch as the light instantly overcomes the darkness. Observe the power and grace of that single, solitary flame dancing with life. Now light several candles or kindle a fire and experience the added warmth and comfort extending from that first, vulnerable flame through others. This is the heart and soul of leadership - the essence of inspiring others. It is about courageously casting off fear, doubt and limiting beliefs and giving people a sense of hope, optimism and accomplishment. It is about bringing light into a world of uncertainty and inspiring others to do the same. This is what we call passion, the fire within.

Passion is a heartfelt energy that flows through us, not from us. It fills our hearts when we allow it to and it inspires others when we share it. It is like sunlight flowing through a doorway that we have just opened. It was always there. It just needed to be accepted and embraced. Under the right conditions, this "flow" appears effortless, easy and graceful. It is doing what it is meant to do. It is reminding us that we are meant to be purposeful. We are meant to be positive. We are meant to be passionate. We feel this when we listen to and accept our calling in life. We feel it as inspiration when we open the door of resistance and let it in.

Inspiration springs forth when we allow ourselves to be "in-spirit," aligned with our true essence. Stop and think about it: When you feel truly passionate and inspired about someone or something, what frame of mind are you in? What are you willing to do? What kind of effort are you willing to put forth? How fearful are you? Chances are, you feel motivated to do whatever it takes, without fear or doubt, to turn your vision into reality. You grow in confidence. You believe you can do it. You are committed from the heart and soul.

The purpose of this book is to clarify and offer ten key factors for leading with passion and inspiring peak performance. These "essentials" serve to guide and remind leaders how they can "open the door" and facilitate flow. By practicing these essentials, you will tap the extraordinary potential in yourself and others and realize results you may never have dreamed possible. Look to any inspiring leader and you will see these key factors in action. Observe the best of the best and you will witness the power of passionate leadership. Make no mistake - leading with passion inspires world change. It is the only thing that ever really has.

An excerpt from
An Enemy called Average
by John Mason

What we say is important. Our vocabulary should be filled with words of hope and dreams. Be known as someone who speaks positively.

Recently I saw a sign under a mounted large mouth bass. It read, "If I had kept my mouth shut I wouldn't be here." How true! Don't jump into trouble mouth first.

Let me pose this question for you: Starting today what would happen if you changed what you said about your biggest problem, your biggest opportunity?

I don't know if you've had this conversation or not, but last month I turned to my wife, Linda, while we were sitting together in our family room and said, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state dependent on some machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

She immediately got up, walked over and unplugged the TV.

"Our words create our worlds," says Dean Sikes. Your words have the power to start fires or quench passion.

Don't be like the man who joined a monastery in which the monks were allowed to speak only two words every seven years. After the first seven years had passed, the new initiate met with the abbot, who asked him, "Well, what are your two words?"

"Food's bad," replied the man, who then went back to his silence.

Seven years later the clergyman asked, "What are your two words now?"

"Bed's hard," the man responded.

Seven years later - twenty-one years after his initial entry into the monastery - the man met with the abbot for the third and final time. "And what are your two words this time?" the abbot asked.

"I quit."

"Well, I'm not surprised," the cleric answered disgustedly. "All you've done since you got here is complain!"

Don't be like that man; don't be known as a person whose only words are negative. If you're a member of the "negative grapevine," resign.

Contrary to what you may have heard, talk is not cheap. Talk is powerful!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

It's not what you look at that matters...
An excerpt from Stress is a Choice by David Zerfoss

Rule #1: Many of us seem to have an endless to-do list, but does all that rushing around stop us from seeing the big picture?

Mary kept up a constant and hectic schedule of work travel. It kept her metabolism and adrenaline high. Add this to the fact that she was keeping up with two very active, triple sports-playing teenage sons, which meant there was not much time to think about simplifying.

Besides...she was very content. She was busy being busy.

During one business trip out west, she traveled with one of her company's sales representatives. His name was Bob and he was quite up in years. Mary often wondered why Bob continued to work at such a late age in life and chose to keep such a sizable, multi-state territory.

This particular trip they were traveling an especially long car route visiting customers throughout New Mexico and then on to Colorado. After driving several hours through the dry and rocky terrain without even a single traffic light in sight for miles, Bob looked over to her and said, "Are you overwhelmed by the vastness of the landscape and wondering when it will ever end?" "Yes." she replied. "How did you know what I was thinking?" Bob explained, everyone who traveled with him felt the very same thing. Then, Bob went on to share a profound rule with Mary about simplifying.

Bob explained to her that we all can choose to easily get lost in and feel overwhelmed by our surroundings.

"Do you see that little tree sprouting up there among all those large rock formations?" Bob asked. Mary strained her eyes but could not find what he was seeing. As they got closer, Bob pointed out the small sprouting tree he had seen when it was far off in the distance.

Bob shared with Mary that he handles these long drives by looking for the little things among the overwhelming, complex landscape. He doesn't focus on just seeing what is all around him, but rather chooses to look for what he might just be missing.



Friday, September 23, 2011

good thots

We need to do unto ourselves as we do unto others."


An excerpt from Oil for Your Lamp
by Lisa Hammond and BJ Gallagher

Virtually every woman we know has the same problem - she knows what's good for her, but she often doesn't do it. She knows she should eat less and exercise more, but still she doesn't make healthy choices. She knows she needs to spend her time and money more effectively, but good time and money management elude her. She finds herself always putting others first, while neglecting her own needs and wants. She doesn't get enough rest or sleep and her endless to-do list hangs overhead like the sword of Damocles. As our friend Brenda Knight laments frequently, "Why am I always riding in the back of my own bus?"

We don't do the things we know are good for us because we are so busy taking care of others that we neglect ourselves. The problem isn't lack of information - we have plenty of information about the importance of sleep, healthy foods, and exercise. The problem is how we prioritize our lives.

Psychologists tell us that some people are inner-directed and some are other-directed. That is, some people focus on their own internal guidance system for making choices about how to spend their time and energy. Their own self-interest ranks very high on their list of priorities. "What's best for me?" is a key guiding principle in determining where they focus their attention and how they make day-to-day decisions.

And some people are other-directed, which means that their primary focus is external, not internal. They are primarily concerned with relationships, especially people they care about. "How can I help others?" is a key question in how they spend their time and energy. Building and nurturing relationships with loved ones, family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers is the guiding principle in their lives.

Research indicates that, in general, men tend to be more inner-directed, while women tend to be more other-directed. There are exceptions, of course, but as a group, men are focused on themselves while women are focused on other people. Men like to build things while women like to build relationships.

This difference in psychological orientation goes a long way toward helping us understand why we women often do such a poor job of taking care of ourselves. We run around filling others' lamps with oil, but forget to fill our own lamps first. Then we wonder why we're often exhausted, frazzled, stressed-out, anxious and/or depressed!

Awareness is the first step toward solving a problem. So the first section of this book is devoted to helping us acknowledge the problem and understand the reasons for it. Chapter 1 looks at how girls are socialized, growing up to be women who put others first. Chapter 2 examines the values women have adopted in the past 50 years, beginning with the feminist movement - leading us to believe that we can have it all - all at once. And Chapter 3 explores the corresponding myth that we can DO it all.

But don't be discouraged. Help is on the way - in Section II, we'll get into solutions for the problem. We'll learn the value of doing nothing, how to play again, how to become more inner-directed, and most important, how to ask for help.


When you realize that every part of your life is working to
bring you closer to knowing your true nature more completely,
then life can only get better."


An excerpt from
Secrets of the World Class
by Steve Siebold

The Middle Class competes...the World Class creates.

The Middle Class avoids risk...the World Class manages risk.

The Middle Class loves to be comfortable. The World Class is comfortable being uncomfortable.

The Middle Class hungers for security...The World Class doesn't believe security exists.

The Middle Class sacrifices growth for safety. The World Class sacrifices safety for growth.

The Middle Class focuses on having...The World Class focuses on being.

The Middle Class is frustrated...The World Class is grateful.

The Middle Class has pipe dreams...The World Class has vision.

The Middle Class trades time for money...The World Class trades ideas for money.

The Middle Class is problem oriented...The World Class is solution oriented.

The Middle Class sees itself as a victim. The World Class sees itself as responsible.

The Middle Class thinks it knows enough...The World Class is eager to learn.

The Middle Class chooses fear...The World Class chooses growth


"Your job is to clarify what your passions are. God's job is to organize
how they will be realized."

You draw more into your life of what you give attention to.
When you put your attention on things which bring you joy,
happiness, and fulfillment, you get more of that."
- The Passion Test

Thursday, September 22, 2011


An excerpt from
The Right to Lead
by John C. Maxwell
What gives a man or woman the right to lead? It certainly isn't gained by election or appointment. Having position, title, rank or degrees doesn't qualify anyone to lead other people. And the ability doesn't come automatically from age or experience, either.

No, it would be accurate to say that no one can be given the right to lead. The right to lead can only be earned. And that takes time.
The Kind of Leader Others Want to Follow
The key to becoming an effective leader is not to focus on making other people follow, but on making yourself the kind of person they want to follow. You must become someone others can trust to take them where they want to go.

As you prepare yourself to become a better leader, use the following guidelines to help you grow:
1. Let go of your ego
The truly great leaders are not in leadership for personal gain. They lead in order to serve other people. Perhaps that is why Lawrence D. Bell remarked, "Show me a man who cannot bother to do little things, and I'll show you a man who cannot be trusted to do big things."
2. Become a good follower first
Rare is the effective leader who didn't learn to become a good follower first. That is why a leadership institution such as the United States Military Academy teaches its officers to become effective followers first - and why West Point has produced more leaders than the Harvard Business School.
3. Build positive relationships
Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. That means it is by nature relational. Today's generation of leaders seem particularly aware of this because title and position mean so little to them. They know intuitively that people go along with people they get along with.
4. Work with excellence
No one respects and follows mediocrity. Leaders who earn the right to lead give their all to what they do. They bring into play not only their skills and talents, but also great passion and hard work They perform on the highest level of which they are capable.
5. Rely on discipline, not emotion
Leadership is often easy during the good times. It's when everything seems to be against you - when you're out of energy, and you don't want to lead - that you earn your place as a leader. During every season of life, leaders face crucial moments when they must choose between gearing up or giving up. To make it through those times, rely on the rock of discipline, not the shifting sand of emotion.
6. Make adding value your goal
When you look at the leaders whose names are revered long after they have finished leading, you find that they were men and women who helped people to live better lives and reach their potential. That is the highest calling of leadership - and its highest value.
7. Give your power away
One of the ironies of leadership is that you become a better leader by sharing whatever power you have, not by saving it all for yourself. You're meant to be a river, not a reservoir. If you use your power to empower others, your leadership will extend far beyond your grasp.


Life is like a game of tennis. The player who serves well seldom loses."


An excerpt from
Customer Love
by Mac Anderson
The following story was told by my friend Phillip Van Hooser, in his book titled: Willie's Way. I really like it and hope you will too.

The conversation was pleasant. Earlier in the day I had presented a service professionalism training program for the Georgia Club Managers' Association, a group of managers representing some of the finest city, athletic, golf, and country clubs throughout the state of Georgia. Now I found myself dining with nine of the most highly respected leaders in the field of club management. Somewhere between the appetizer and the salad, Manuel de Juan, general manager of the host, Capital City Club, spoke.

"Phillip, I thoroughly enjoyed your presentation today. I especially enjoyed the stories you shared to illustrate your content points. As a matter of fact, at one point during your presentation, I almost interrupted you to share one of my stories I thought you might enjoy."

He said, "The occasion was Easter Sunday and the day found more than 500 club members and their guests crowded into the overflowing Capital City Club restaurant. As they waited to dine, a club member and his four dinner guests approached the bar where they were greeted by the head bartender, Bob, who quickly began to take and fill each drink order. Everything progressed as might be expected until one of the guests placed an order for a specialty drink.

'I would like a sazerac, please.'

'A sazerac?' Bob asked curiously. 'Sir, I'm sorry but I'm unfamiliar with that particular drink. However, if you'll share its ingredients with me, I will be happy to make you one.'

'That's the problem,' the guest explained. 'I was in New Orleans on business recently and I stayed at the Fairmont Hotel. During my visit, I went into the hotel bar and the bartender suggested I try the house specialty, a sazerac. I remember the name of the drink because it was the same as that of the bar. Anyway, I tried the drink and I loved it.

Since then though, whenever I've tried to order it in other bars around the country I always get the same response, 'never heard of it.' I was hoping a place like the Capital City Club would be different. But never mind. Don't worry about it. Just give me a Bloody Mary instead.'

Bob filled the revised drink order, and as soon as the guest left the bar to rejoin his party, Bob took his break and headed straight to the nearest telephone. He called information and requested the number for the Fairmont Hotel in New Orleans, Louisiana. Once connected to the Fairmont, Bob asked for the Sazerac Bar. Within seconds, Bob was talking directly with a previously anonymous professional colleague in a bar several hundred miles away.

'My name is Bob and I am the head bartender at the Capital City Club here in Atlanta. A few minutes ago I had a gentleman order a sazerac. He told me he was introduced to it while visiting your bar. I was wondering if you would be willing to share the recipe with me so I can fill his order?'

Bob's New Orleans counterpart was happy to oblige.

Within a few short minutes, Bob confidently approached the guest's table. Imagine the guest's level of surprise, satisfaction, and sheer delight when Bob said, 'Excuse me, sir, but I have your sazerac. I hope it's to your liking. I have taken the liberty of writing down the ingredients on this index card so you can have them with you in your travels. I hope you enjoy your time here at the Capital City Club. I'm glad I had the opportunity to serve you.'

One of my favorite definitions of listening is from Jim Cathcart. He said listening is wanting to hear. And you see, Bob wanted to hear...and he did. Great service is always about wanting to hear.

At 211 degrees...water is hot.
At 212 boils.
And with boiling water, comes steam.
And steam can power a locomotive.
And, it's that one extra degree that...
Makes all the difference.

Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties
today of its strength.' - Unknown author

n excerpt from
Courage Does Not Always Roar
by Bobi Seredich
"By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail."
- Benjamin Franklin
Sometimes we can get blindsided by the events that happen in our lives. Certified Financial Planner Rebecca Kennell shares the story of two of her clients, Pam and Tom, whose lack of planning could have been averted with the courage to take responsibility for the future.

Both in their fifties, Pam and Tom had not really done any long-term financial planning. Theirs was a second marriage, and Tom knew he should have a will or trust, but somehow he just didn't get around to it. Soon after Tom and Pam's meeting with Rebecca, Tom had a bicycle accident. The resulting x-rays revealed lung cancer and he passed away three months later, with the will kit still in the closet.

Without a will, a bitter probate battle developed. Tom and Pam had only been married a year and a half and the life insurance policy that Tom held listed his daughter, rather than Pam, as beneficiary. The result? Probate lasted two years, causing Pam a great deal of stress and costing her $30,000 in court costs. Suffering from a lack of sleep and distraught by the double impact of the death of her spouse and fighting with his daughter, Pam finally turned to anti-depressants to help balance herself emotionally. She developed physical effects, ranging from skin rashes to stomach problems - she was a mess, both physically and emotionally. Tom's death caused her deep heartache and presented problems she was never prepared to handle.

Pam was not very sophisticated financially when she married Tom, and he was just beginning to teach her about his assets when he passed away. She didn't bring a lot of assets or income to the marriage and mistakenly felt she didn't then have the "right" to discuss these topics. This is an error Rebecca sees many times in counseling clients. "If you are entering into a marriage partnership, you not only have a 'right' to discuss all of these topics, you should discuss them to avoid any future miscommunication," Rebecca advises.

Although Pam felt overwhelmed by this extremely stressful situation, she swallowed her pride and became wiser financially and stronger physically. She began to take charge of her own financial future - learning what to fight for in probate and what to let go of. Even more importantly, with Rebecca's help, she became financial savvy...understanding her assets and setting up her own trust.

"A lot of people are in denial about end-of-life planning," said Rebecca. "But that really turns out to be a selfish decision, one that leaves everyone around you having to make very hard choices. Sometimes it starts disagreements that can last for a generation."

Not only did Pam have to make end of life decisions for Tom, she had to deal with his daughter and an ex-wife who was still very angry at Tom for their divorce two years earlier. The best gift you can give your loved ones is putting your plan in place so there's no guesswork or disagreement in an emotionally stressful time.

Rebecca suggests taking small steps to protect your future. "It's important to be prepared," said Rebecca. "It can start with something as small as getting organized - having file folders and putting beneficiary information in a file for both spouses to share. Sometimes it just takes one spouse stating the obvious to get the conversation started, 'If something happens, I'll need to take over for the two of us. If I can't find things, they might be lost forever.'"

Smart planning doesn't only relate to end of life decisions. "While no one goes into marriage thinking about divorce, it's something that affects a lot of couples in this country," says Rebecca. "Women lose a lot of their inheritance though death or divorce when documents aren't updated." As one of our clients said, "I don't want to be sad and broke."

Death and divorce are highly emotional times. It takes courage to take the long view and protect yourself for the future before these events happen. Death is inevitable and divorce affects millions every year. As Rebecca says, "You can't stick your head in the sand and think that it won't happen to me."

An excerpt from
Attitude is Everything
by Vicki Hitzges
I used to worry. A lot. The more I fretted, the more proficient I became at it. Anxiety begets anxiety. I even worried that I worried too much! Ulcers might develop. My health could fail. My finances could deplete to pay the hospital bills.

A comedian once said, "I tried to drown my worries with gin, but my worries are equipped with flotation devices." While not a drinker, I certainly could identify! My worries could swim, jump and pole vault!

To get some perspective, I visited a well known, Dallas businessman, Fred Smith. Fred mentored such luminaries as motivational whiz Zig Ziglar, business guru Ken Blanchard and leadership expert John Maxwell. Fred listened as I poured out my concerns and then said, "Vicki, you need to learn to wait to worry."

As the words sank in, I asked Fred if he ever spent time fretting. (I was quite certain he wouldn't admit it if he did. He was pretty full of testosterone-even at age 90.) To my surprise, he confessed that in years gone by he had been a top-notch worrier!

"I decided that I would wait to worry!" he explained. "I decided that I'd wait until I actually had a reason to worry-something that was happening, not just something that might happen-before I worried."

"When I'm tempted to get alarmed," he confided, "I tell myself, 'Fred, you've got to wait to worry! Until you know differently, don't worry.' And I don't. Waiting to worry helps me develop the habit of not worrying and that helps me not be tempted to worry."

Fred possessed a quick mind and a gift for gab. As such, he became a captivating public speaker. "I frequently ask audiences what they were worried about this time last year. I get a lot of laughs," he said, "because most people can't remember. Then I ask if they have a current worry - you see nods from everybody. Then I remind them that the average worrier is 92% inefficient - only 8% of what we worry about ever comes true."

Charles Spurgeon said it best. "Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength."

If the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is eat a live frog, then nothing worse can happen for the rest of the day!"

Brian Tracy says that your "frog" should be the most difficult item on your things to do list, the one you're most likely to procrastinate on; because, if you eat that first, it'll give you energy and momentum for the rest of the day.


An excerpt from
Eat That Frog!
by Brian Tracy
The 80/20 Rule is one of the most helpful of all concepts of time and life management. It is also called the "Pareto Principle" after its founder, the Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto, who first wrote about it in 1895. Pareto noticed that people in his society seemed to divide naturally into what he called the "vital few", the top 20 percent in terms of money and influence, and the "trivial many", the bottom 80 percent.

He later discovered that virtually all economic activity was subject to this principle as well. For example, this principle says that 20 percent of your activities will account for 80 percent of your results, 20 percent of your customers will account for 80 percent of your sales, 20 percent of your products or services will account for 80 percent of your profits, 20 percent of your tasks will account for 80 percent of the value of what you do, and so on. This means that if you have a list of ten items to do, two of those items will turn out to be worth five or ten times or more than the other eight items put together.

Number of Tasks versus Importance of Tasks
Here is an interesting discovery. Each of the ten tasks may take the same amount of time to accomplish. But one or two of those tasks will contribute five or ten times the value of any of the others.

Often, one item on a list of ten tasks that you have to do can be worth more than all the other nine items put together. This task is invariably the frog that you should eat first.

Focus on Activities, Not Accomplishments
The most valuable tasks you can do each day are often the hardest and most complex. But the payoff and rewards for completing these tasks efficiently can be tremendous. For this reason, you must adamantly refuse to work on tasks in the bottom 80 percent while you still have tasks in the top 20 percent left to be done.

Before you begin work, always ask yourself, "Is this task in the top 20 percent of my activities or in the bottom 80 percent?"

The hardest part of any important task is getting started on it in the first place. Once you actually begin work on a valuable task, you will be naturally motivated to continue. A part of your mind loves to be busy working on significant tasks that can really make a difference. Your job is to feed this part of your mind continually.

Motivate Yourself
Just thinking about starting and finishing an important task motivates you and helps you to overcome procrastination. Time management is really life management, personal management. It is really taking control of the sequence of events. Time management is having control over what you do next. And you are always free to choose the task that you will do next. Your ability to choose between the important and the unimportant is the key determinant of your success in life and work.

Effective, productive people discipline themselves to start on the most important task that is before them. They force themselves to eat that frog, whatever it is. As a result, they accomplish vastly more than the average person and are much happier as a result. This should be your way of working as well.


"When you know that everything matters - that every move counts as much as any other - you will begin living a life of permanent purpose. A life of permanent purpose will make you a better parent, a better spouse, and a more valuable friend. Your productivity and financial success will soar to new heights while the old days of uncertainty, doubt, and depression fade into the past."

An Excerpt From
Finish Strong: Teen Athlete
by Dan Green
Western Oregon University's Sara Tucholsky had no idea that the first - and, as it turns out, only - home run of her career would cause ripples that would make her last swing of the bat as a college softball player a national media sensation.

With two runners on and her team down a run to Central Washington University, Sara hit a home run to centerfield. As she rounded first base, she missed the bag. When she turned to tag the base, she injured her knee. Able only to crawl back to the base, Sara was told that she would be called out if her teammates came to her aid. If a pinch runner checked into the game, her home run would count only as a single.

Players and fans alike were stunned when Central Washington first baseman Mallory Holtman, the conference's all-time home run leader, asked the umpire if there was any rule against opponents helping an injured player around the bases.

She was told that there was not. Together, Holtman and shortstop Liz Wallace picked up Tucholsky and carried her around the bases, stopping at each bag to allow Sara to touch it with her good leg. "It was the right thing to do," Holtman said in an interview on national television, after the respectful act of sportsmanship had been witnessed by millions on ESPN and had become a YouTube sensation.

The three runs sent Western Oregon to a 4-2 victory, ending Central Washington's chances of winning the conference and advancing to the playoffs.

"It's a great story," Western Oregon coach Pam Knox said, "something I'll never forget - the game's about character and integrity and sportsmanship, and it's not always about winning and losing."

As it turns out, the players who helped Sara had no idea of the circumstances surrounding the at-bat, or that the story would make headlines around the country. "We didn't know that she was a senior or that this was her first home run," Wallace said Wednesday. "That makes the story more touching than it was. We just wanted to help her." The gesture left Sara's Western Oregon teammates in tears. "I hope I would do the same for her in the same situation," Sara said. Central Washington coach Gary Frederick called the act of sportsmanship "unbelievable."

"In the end, it is not about winning and losing so much," Holtman, who initiated the act, said. "It was about this girl. She hit it over the fence and was in pain, and she deserved a home run."

hey say "you can't choose your parents." All of us have circumstances that cannot be changed, whether it's the home we're born into or a physical condition we're struggling with.

In that case, our choice isn't to change our circumstances, but to change our ATTITUDE.


An excerpt from
Secrets of the World Class
by Steve Siebold
I have had the privilege of competing against, coaching, being coached by and observing world-class performers since I was six years old. As a junior tennis player competing throughout the United States from ages 7 - 18, I became fascinated with what it takes to become a champion. My dream was to be ranked among the Top 10 players in the world, but I fell short. At my best, I hovered around the Top 500 in the world, and that's as high as I could seem to reach. Deep down, I knew I had the talent to make my dream a reality, and I knew the missing link was mental. After I hung up my racquet for the last time, I became obsessed with uncovering the mental toughness secrets of champions.

Starting in 1984, I spent every free moment conducting interviews with champions, reading their books and studying everything I could get my hands on about the psychology of peak performance. My friends said I was obsessed. They were right. This book is the result of my 20-year obsession.

When I started to implement the ideas in this book, my whole life changed. It wasn't overnight, but sometimes it seemed like it. There's no magic here, just practical thought processes, habits and philosophies drawn from the greatest performers in the world.

This book contains no theories. Every secret comes straight from the street of experience, either my own or that of our clients. This book is loaded with ideas you can implement immediately. Some will be familiar and some new. All of them have the power to catapult your results, no matter how high you're flying. It's been said that speakers and writers espouse wisdom on the very topic they need most. Now that you know my story, you know this is true for me. After 20 years of studying and teaching mental toughness to people throughout the United States, Canada and 10 other countries, I can honestly tell you that many times I still think like a complete amateur, operating out of the same middle-class consciousness that I ridicule in this book. After all these years, my mental toughness growth is still a work in progress.

The good news is that mental toughness is a skill that can be learned, and the tougher you get, the bigger you'll dream and the more fun you'll have.


An excerpt from
The Strangest Secret
by Earl Nightingale
George Bernard Shaw said, "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them."

Well, it's pretty apparent, isn't it? And every person who discovered this believed (for a while) that he was the first one to work it out. We become what we think about.

Now, it stands to reason that a person who is thinking about a concrete and worthwhile goal is going to reach it, because that's what he's thinking about. And we become what we think about.

Conversely, the person who has no goal, who doesn't know where he's going, and whose thoughts must therefore be thoughts of confusion, anxiety, fear and worry - his life becomes one of frustration, fear, anxiety and worry. And if he thinks about nothing...he becomes nothing.

How does it work? Why do we become what we think about? Well, I'll tell you how it works, as far as we know. To do this, I want to tell you about a situation that parallels the human mind.

Suppose a farmer has some land, and it's good, fertile land. The land gives the farmer a choice; he may plant in that land whatever he chooses. The land doesn't care. It's up to the farmer to make a decision.

We're comparing the human mind with the land because the mind, like the land, doesn't care what you plant in it. It will return what you plant, but it doesn't care what you plant.

Now, let's say that the farmer has two seeds in his hand - one is a seed of corn, the other is nightshade, a deadly poison. He digs two little holes in the earth and he plants both seeds - one corn, the other nightshade. He covers up the holes, waters and takes care of the land...and what will happen? Invariably, the land will return what was planted. As it's written in the Bible,

"As ye sow, so shall ye reap."

Remember, the land doesn't care. It will return poison in just as wonderful abundance as it will corn. So up come the plants - one corn, one poison. The human mind is far more fertile, far more incredible and mysterious than the land, but it works the same way. It doesn't care what we plant...success...or failure. A concrete, worthwhile goal...or confusion, misunderstanding, fear, anxiety, and so on. But what we plant it must return to us.

You see, the human mind is the last great, unexplored continent on earth. It contains riches beyond our wildest dreams. It will return anything we want to plant.


Quotes on Leadership

Though leadership may be hard to define, the one characteristic common to all leaders is the ability to make things happen."
-Ted W. Engstrom

"Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality."
-Warren G. Bennis

"Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things."
-Peter Drucker

"One of the true tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency."
-Arnold H. Glasgow

"Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced."
-James Baldwin

"If you want to know why your people are not performing well, step up to the mirror and take a peek."
-Ken Blanchard

"The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality, the last is to say "Thank you." In between the two, the leaders must become a servant."
-Max De Pree

"They don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."
-Theodore Roosevelt

"The greatest management principle in the world is: the things that get rewarded and appreciated get done."
-Michael LeBoeuf

"Excellence is...caring more than others think is wise;
Risking more than others think is safe;
Dreaming more than others think is practical.
Expecting more than others think is possible."
-Winston Churchill

"You get the best efforts from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within."
-Bob Nelson

"Quality is never an accident: It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution. It represents the wise choice of many alternatives."
-William A. Foster

"Values are critical guides for making decisions. When in doubt, they cut through the fog like a beacon in the night."
-Robert Townsend

"A leader's job is to look into the future and see the organization not as it is, but as it should be."
-Jack Welch

"Giving people a little more than they expect is a good way to get back a lot more than you'd expect."
-Robert Half

"The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity."
-Zig Ziglar

"To lead the people, walk behind them."
-Lao Tzu


We have too many high sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them."
-Abigail Adams
(1744 - 1818)

"The surest test of discipline is its absence."
-Clara Barton
(1821 - 1912)

"If I can stop one heart from breaking I shall not live in vain."
-Emily Dickinson
(1830 - 1886)

"The triumph can't be had without the struggle."
-Wilma Rudolph
(1940 - 1994)

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
-Maya Angelou
(1928 - )

"I attribute my success to this - I never gave or took any excuse."
-Florence Nightingale
(1820 - 1910)

"A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees."
-Amelia Earhart
(1898 - 1937)

An excerpt from
The 100/0 Principle
by Al Ritter

What is the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships with others? It's The 100/0 Principle: You take full responsibility (the 100) for the relationship, expecting nothing (the 0) in return.

Implementing The 100/0 Principle is not natural for most of us. It takes real commitment to the relationship and a good dose of self-discipline to think, act and give 100 percent.

The 100/0 Principle applies to those people in your life where the relationships are too important to react automatically or judgmentally. Each of us must determine the relationships to which this principle should apply. For most of us, it applies to work associates, customers, suppliers, family and friends.
• STEP 1 - Determine what you can do to make the relationship work...then do it. Demonstrate respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not.
• STEP 2 - Do not expect anything in return. Zero, zip, nada.
• STEP 3 - Do not allow anything the other person says or does (no matter how annoying!) to affect you. In other words, don't take the bait.
• STEP 4 - Be persistent with your graciousness and kindness. Often we give up too soon, especially when others don't respond in kind. Remember to expect nothing in return.
At times (usually few), the relationship can remain challenging, even toxic, despite your 100 percent commitment and self-discipline. When this occurs, you need to avoid being the "Knower" and shift to being the "Learner." Avoid Knower statements/ thoughts like "that won't work," "I'm right, you are wrong," "I know it and you don't," "I'll teach you," "that's just the way it is," "I need to tell you what I know," etc.

Instead use Learner statements/thoughts like "Let me find out what is going on and try to understand the situation," "I could be wrong," "I wonder if there is anything of value here," "I wonder if..." etc. In other words, as a Learner, be curious!

Principle Paradox

This may strike you as strange, but here's the paradox: When you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well. Consequently, the 100/0 relationship quickly transforms into something approaching 100/100. When that occurs, true breakthroughs happen for the individuals involved, their teams, their organizations and their families.


"The boisterous sea of liberty is never without a wave."
Thomas Jefferson

"Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again more intelligently."
Henry Ford

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."
Mother Teresa

"If we are together nothing is impossible. If we are divided all will fail."
Winston Churchill

"As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."
Nelson Mandela
(1918 - )
"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will."
Vince Lombardi

"All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles have strengthened me...You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you."
Walt Disney

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."
Eleanor Roosevelt

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi

"I know in my heart that man is good. That what is right will eventually triumph. And there is purpose and worth to each and every life."
Ronald Reagan

"Liberty without learning is always in peril; learning without liberty is always in vain."
John F. Kennedy

"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
Ray Kroc

"The time is always right to do what is right."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

"There are two ways of exerting one's strength; one is pushing down, the other is pulling up."
Booker T. Washington

"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest."
Benjamin Franklin

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
Theodore Roosevelt

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."
Albert Schweitzer

"There is only one boss. The customer. And they can fire everybody in the company from the chairman on down, simply by spending their money somewhere else."
Sam Walton

"Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out."
John Wooden
(1910 - 2010)

"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us."
Helen Keller

Genius is childhood recaptured at will." The imagination and creativity we had at five too often begins to fade at fifteen.

An excerpt from
Stress is a Choice
by David Zerfoss
Several years ago while listening to my pastor give a Sunday sermon, he spoke about how life is made up of a series of choices. It made me realize that my hectic professional and personal life was of my choosing. Therefore, a life of stress had become my choice.

Many of us hurry through life going from one place to the next, focused on conquering the next mountain, making the next deal, running the next errand, and believing we will never have enough time to do all the things we need to get done. Yet, there is all the time in the world if we just realize that we are the creators of this life we choose to live.

That's right. Life is a series of choices and being free from stress is one of those choices.

Whether your business life is overly complicated or your personal life (or both), you have chosen this current system of chaos. The world is a tantalizing swirl of getting the next "fix," tempting us to fit more and more things, people and processes into our lives, personally and professionally. And because we are so busy being busy, it's easy to be lured into the fray, with our lengthy to-do lists. Yet, the greatest achievements have often come from the simplest of ideas and in the simplest forms.

To experience a simplified life, we first have to learn to slow down long enough to see through all the clutter. We need to realize that we are powerful magnets that attracted this life to ourselves - no matter what - good or bad.

After you read through the 10 Rules to Simplify Your Life, my wish for you is that you commit to simplify and enroll others for support. Take out a blank sheet of paper and create the life you truly want to live - with less stress and complexity - one that is anchored by a clear sense of your unique and simple purpose.


Monday, May 02, 2011

good thots

Do it because you would, not because you think you should.

-- Alan Cohen

The 100/0 Principle applies to those people in your life where the relationships are too important to react automatically or judgmentally. Each of us must determine the relationships to which this principle should apply. For most of us, it applies to work associates, customers, suppliers, family and friends.
• STEP 1 - Determine what you can do to make the relationship work...then do it. Demonstrate respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not.
• STEP 2 - Do not expect anything in return. Zero, zip, nada.
• STEP 3 - Do not allow anything the other person says or does (no matter how annoying!) to affect you. In other words, don't take the bait.
• STEP 4 - Be persistent with your graciousness and kindness. Often we give up too soon, especially when others don't respond in kind. Remember to expect nothing in return.

I complained to God when my foundation was shaking, only to discover that it was God who was shaking it.
-- Charles Weston
"If you dream it, you can do it."
-Walt Disney

"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
-Vince Lombardi

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
-Mahatma Gandhi

"You can't build a reputation on what you're going to do."
-Henry Ford

"Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing."
-Theodore Roosevelt

"The future starts today, not tomorrow."
-Pope John Paul II

Sow a thought, reap a word. Sow a word, reap a deed. Sow a deed, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny.

-- Charles Reade
Only those who see the invisible can do the impossible.

-- Author unknown

The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something."
~Randy Pausch
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------If you live your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself...your dreams will come to you."
Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated. It satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening - it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented."
~Arnold Palmer

Eternity does not start after you die; it begins when you really live.

-- Alan Cohen
The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but reveal to them their own.

-- Benjamin Disraeli
What makes you think you could have a future with someone when you don't have a present?

-- Alan Cohen

All of man's troubles stem from his inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

-- Pascal

When you embrace the human, you liberate the divine.

-- Alan Cohen

Success is the intentional, pre–mediated use of choice and decision. Unless you choose – with certainty – what it is you want, you accept table scraps by default!-

The DIFFERENCE between what one person and another achieves depends more on goal CHOICES than on ABILITIES.
The profound differences between successful people and others are the goals they choose to pursue. Individuals with similar talents, intelligence, and abilities will achieve different results because they select and pursue different goals.
Each decision affects WHAT YOU BECOME.

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain!"


A good guru reminds you, "G.U.R.U." -- Gee, you are you.

-- Author unknown

To prefer is to be alive. To prefer without being attached is to be even more alive.

-- Alan Cohen

Perfection is not a condition to be attained. It is an attitude to be cultivated.

-- Alan Cohen

The wise man in the storm prays to God, not for safety from danger, but for deliverance from fear.

-- Emerson
Prayer is the attunement of your mind with the blessing that already exists.

-- Alan Cohen

Do not wait until all the conditions are perfect for you to begin. Beginning makes the conditions perfect.

-- Alan Cohen

It is not because life is difficult that we do not dare. Life is difficult because we do not dare.

-- Seneca

Improve Your Public Speaking
by Being Yourself
Those who find public speaking daunting — and who doesn't to some degree? — may think they need to become better actors to improve. Acting rarely helps, though. Don't try to be someone else or channel a smooth-talking alter ego. Focus on being exactly who you are. While some people may be natural public speakers, most have to work hard at it. Practice organizing your thoughts, modulating your voice, and connecting with your audience. This isn't a matter of rehearsing what you're going to say. It's practicing the skills that allow you to be flexible and capable every time you are up in the front of the room.