Passion--it's the driving force that you just can't ignore. It's what will make your new adventure seem more like fun, than work. It's the difference between wanting to start a business and craving it."
~Mac Anderson
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An excerpt from
The Simple Blessing of Christmas
by Mark Gilroy
Norman Vincent Peale, noted minister and author from the previous century, tells the story of a young girl from Sweden spending Christmas in big, bustling New York City. She was living with an American family and helping them around the house, and she didn't have much money. So she knew she couldn't get them a very nice Christmas present - besides, they already had so much, with new gifts arriving every day.
With just a little money in her pocket, she went out and bought an outfit for a small baby, and then she set out on a journey to find the poorest part of town and the poorest baby she could find. At first, she received only strange looks from passersby when she asked them for help. But then a kind stranger, a Salvation Army bell-ringer, guided her to a poor part of town and helped her deliver her gift. On Christmas morning, instead of giving them a wrapped present, she told the family she served what she had done in their name. Everyone was speechless, and everyone was blessed - the girl for giving, the wealthy family for seeing others with new eyes, and the poor family for receiving an unexpected gift.
All of us have opportunities both large and small to show kindness, especially at Christmastime. We can help strangers by delivering gifts to needy kids or serving homeless families at a soup kitchen. Or we can simply look for everyday ways to be kind, like allowing someone to go ahead of us in a lengthy line at the department store, or giving that bell-ringer a little change and a few encouraging words.
Maybe it's because we're in gift-giving mode anyway that giving to others becomes so important at Christmas. Or because we're more aware of our families and friends and communities. Or maybe it's because two thousand years ago, the earth received the most perfect, most loving gift of all, helping us to understand true kindness.
Whatever the reason, don't let Christmas pass you by without showing kindness to someone. Because it is truly more blessed to give than to receive.
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The art of living lies not in eliminating but in growing with troubles.
-- Bernard Baruch
Upgrade your past by seeing it with appreciation.
-- Alan Cohen
Following your passions and learning to trust in the benevolence of the universe, that everything is being organized perfectly for you, is a journey."
- From The Passion Test
Monday, November 29, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
good thots
View change as the one constant in your life. Welcome it. Expect it. Anticipate it."
~Denis Waitley
"I've learned to become adaptable to the coming of each season for every leaf that changes color, changes for a reason."
~Linda Elli
"It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold or silver."
~Mahatma Gandhi
"Realize that your health is your wealth. Make yourself a priority. You're worth it!"
~Vicki Hitzges
Look at everything as though you are seeing it for the first time, with eyes of a child, fresh with wonder."
~Joseph Cornell
"I urge all of you to enjoy your life, every precious moment on this earth. Spend each day with some laughter. Don't be afraid to feel; to get your emotions going. Be enthusiastic, because nothing great can be accomplished without enthusiasm. Live your dreams."
~Jim Valvano
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What are you trying to do with your life?
What are your greatest gifts?
What are you meant to do here?
How can you best serve mankind?
These are questions you must answer to find your true purpose in life. They sometimes surface during major life transitions such as family strife, job loss, spiritual awakenings, or the death of a loved one.
I feel fortunate to have found my purpose in life. I have that reason to get up in the morning and it fuels my passion. In one of the greatest compliments I ever received, someone said to me, "Mac, when you write you've been blessed with the ability to connect with others...soul to soul." I thought about those words and have chosen to shape my life around that gift.
Every person is a unique being. There is only one of you in the universe. You have many obvious gifts and other gifts waiting to be discovered.
I truly believe, however, that one of the most important questions you can ask yourself in your journey to find your purpose is, "How can I serve others?" Albert Schweitzer said it well:"I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve."
It is my sincere hope that The Nature of Success will be a useful and practical tool to help you:
Discover your personal definition of success
Discover your core existence, or your reason for being
Set clearly defined goals
Never waiver in your belief that you can achieve them
Manage your attitude
Persevere when adversity strikes...and it will
Learn to take risks and embrace change
Keep kindness in your heart...always
Love and be loved
Make a difference whenever, wherever, and however, you can.
Success is a very personal thing, but I think most people would agree that true success is about being fulfilled in life. It's that feeling of deep satisfaction that starts in your soul and radiates through your being. The end result is true happiness and peace of mind.
In The Nature of Success, I've enjoyed sharing many personal stories about my "lessons learned" in business and in life. I've discovered that many times it's not what you say, but how you say it that turns the switch from "off" to "on." For me, the right story, at the right time in my life, can do it!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you bless the good that befalls others, it becomes yours as well.
-- Alan Cohen
When we are judging others, we have no time to love them."
~Mother Teresa
"Judging others, I have discovered, does not let in joy. Stepping away from judgment does."
~Kate Nowak
Families are like fudge -- mostly sweet with a few nuts.
-- Source unknown
~Denis Waitley
"I've learned to become adaptable to the coming of each season for every leaf that changes color, changes for a reason."
~Linda Elli
"It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold or silver."
~Mahatma Gandhi
"Realize that your health is your wealth. Make yourself a priority. You're worth it!"
~Vicki Hitzges
Look at everything as though you are seeing it for the first time, with eyes of a child, fresh with wonder."
~Joseph Cornell
"I urge all of you to enjoy your life, every precious moment on this earth. Spend each day with some laughter. Don't be afraid to feel; to get your emotions going. Be enthusiastic, because nothing great can be accomplished without enthusiasm. Live your dreams."
~Jim Valvano
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What are you trying to do with your life?
What are your greatest gifts?
What are you meant to do here?
How can you best serve mankind?
These are questions you must answer to find your true purpose in life. They sometimes surface during major life transitions such as family strife, job loss, spiritual awakenings, or the death of a loved one.
I feel fortunate to have found my purpose in life. I have that reason to get up in the morning and it fuels my passion. In one of the greatest compliments I ever received, someone said to me, "Mac, when you write you've been blessed with the ability to connect with others...soul to soul." I thought about those words and have chosen to shape my life around that gift.
Every person is a unique being. There is only one of you in the universe. You have many obvious gifts and other gifts waiting to be discovered.
I truly believe, however, that one of the most important questions you can ask yourself in your journey to find your purpose is, "How can I serve others?" Albert Schweitzer said it well:"I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve."
It is my sincere hope that The Nature of Success will be a useful and practical tool to help you:
Discover your personal definition of success
Discover your core existence, or your reason for being
Set clearly defined goals
Never waiver in your belief that you can achieve them
Manage your attitude
Persevere when adversity strikes...and it will
Learn to take risks and embrace change
Keep kindness in your heart...always
Love and be loved
Make a difference whenever, wherever, and however, you can.
Success is a very personal thing, but I think most people would agree that true success is about being fulfilled in life. It's that feeling of deep satisfaction that starts in your soul and radiates through your being. The end result is true happiness and peace of mind.
In The Nature of Success, I've enjoyed sharing many personal stories about my "lessons learned" in business and in life. I've discovered that many times it's not what you say, but how you say it that turns the switch from "off" to "on." For me, the right story, at the right time in my life, can do it!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you bless the good that befalls others, it becomes yours as well.
-- Alan Cohen
When we are judging others, we have no time to love them."
~Mother Teresa
"Judging others, I have discovered, does not let in joy. Stepping away from judgment does."
~Kate Nowak
Families are like fudge -- mostly sweet with a few nuts.
-- Source unknown
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
please think about this article seriously n act
The Introduction from
Heart of a Teacher
by Paula Fox
He was in the first third grade class I taught at Saint Mary's School in Morris, Minnesota. All 34 of my students were dear to me, but Mark Eklund was one in a million. Very neat in appearance, he had that happy-to-be-alive attitude that made even his occasional mischievousness delightful.
Mark talked incessantly. I had to remind him again and again that talking without permission was not acceptable. What impressed me so much, though, was his sincere response every time I had to correct him for misbehaving. "Thank you for correcting me, Sister!" I didn't know what to make of it at first, but before long I became accustomed to hearing it many times a day.
One morning my patience was growing thin when Mark talked once too often, and then I made a novice teacher's mistake. I looked at Mark and said, "If you say one more word, I am going to tape your mouth shut!" It wasn't ten seconds later when Chuck blurted out, "Mark is talking again." I hadn't asked any of the students to help me watch Mark, but since I had stated the punishment in front of the class, I had to act on it. I remember the scene as if it had occurred this morning. I walked to my desk, very deliberately opened my drawer and took out a roll of masking tape. Without saying a word, I proceeded to Mark's desk, tore off two pieces of tape and made a big X with them over his mouth. I then returned to the front of the room. As I glanced at Mark to see how he was doing, he winked at me. That did it! I started laughing. The class cheered as I walked back to Mark's desk, removed the tape, and shrugged my shoulders. His first words were, "Thank you for correcting me, Sister."
At the end of the year, I was asked to teach junior-high math. The years flew by, and before I knew it Mark was in my classroom again. He was more handsome than ever and just as polite. Since he had to listen carefully to my instruction in the "new math," he did not talk as much in ninth grade as he had in third. One Friday, things just didn't feel right. We had worked hard on a new concept all week, and I sensed that the students were frowning, frustrated with themselves and edgy with one another. I had to stop this crankiness before it got out of hand. So I asked them to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then I told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed me the papers. Charlie smiled. Mark said, "Thank you for teaching me, Sister. Have a good weekend." That Saturday, I wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and I listed what everyone else had said about that individual.
On Monday I gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" I heard whispered. "I never knew that meant anything to anyone! I didn't know others liked me so much." No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. I never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another again.
That group of students moved on. Several years later, after I returned from vacation, my parents met me at the airport. As we were driving home, Mother asked me the usual questions about the trip, the weather, my experiences in general. There was a lull in the conversation. Mother gave Dad a sideways glance and simply said, "Dad?" My father cleared his throat as he usually did before something important. "The Eklunds called last night," he began. "Really?" I said. "I haven't heard from them in years. I wonder how Mark is." Dad responded quietly. "Mark was killed in Vietnam," he said. "The funeral is tomorrow, and his parents would like it if you could attend." To this day I can still point to the exact spot on I-494 where Dad told me about Mark.
I had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. Mark looked so handsome, so mature. All I could think at that moment was, "Mark, I would give all the masking tape in the world if only you would talk to me." The church was packed with Mark's friends. Chuck's sister sang "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." Why did it have to rain on the day of the funeral? It was difficult enough at the graveside. The pastor said the usual prayers, and the bugler played taps. One by one those who loved Mark took a last walk by the coffin and sprinkled it with holy water. I was the last one to bless the coffin. As I stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to me. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. I nodded as I continued to stare at the coffin. "Mark talked about you a lot," he said.
After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates headed to Chuck's farmhouse for lunch. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting for me. "We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it." Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. I knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which I had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him. "Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it." Mark's classmates started to gather around us. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. I keep it in the top drawer of my desk at home." Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary." Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said without batting an eyelash. "I think we all saved our lists." That's when I finally sat down and cried. I cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.
The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be. So please, tell the people you love and care for that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.
Heart of a Teacher
by Paula Fox
He was in the first third grade class I taught at Saint Mary's School in Morris, Minnesota. All 34 of my students were dear to me, but Mark Eklund was one in a million. Very neat in appearance, he had that happy-to-be-alive attitude that made even his occasional mischievousness delightful.
Mark talked incessantly. I had to remind him again and again that talking without permission was not acceptable. What impressed me so much, though, was his sincere response every time I had to correct him for misbehaving. "Thank you for correcting me, Sister!" I didn't know what to make of it at first, but before long I became accustomed to hearing it many times a day.
One morning my patience was growing thin when Mark talked once too often, and then I made a novice teacher's mistake. I looked at Mark and said, "If you say one more word, I am going to tape your mouth shut!" It wasn't ten seconds later when Chuck blurted out, "Mark is talking again." I hadn't asked any of the students to help me watch Mark, but since I had stated the punishment in front of the class, I had to act on it. I remember the scene as if it had occurred this morning. I walked to my desk, very deliberately opened my drawer and took out a roll of masking tape. Without saying a word, I proceeded to Mark's desk, tore off two pieces of tape and made a big X with them over his mouth. I then returned to the front of the room. As I glanced at Mark to see how he was doing, he winked at me. That did it! I started laughing. The class cheered as I walked back to Mark's desk, removed the tape, and shrugged my shoulders. His first words were, "Thank you for correcting me, Sister."
At the end of the year, I was asked to teach junior-high math. The years flew by, and before I knew it Mark was in my classroom again. He was more handsome than ever and just as polite. Since he had to listen carefully to my instruction in the "new math," he did not talk as much in ninth grade as he had in third. One Friday, things just didn't feel right. We had worked hard on a new concept all week, and I sensed that the students were frowning, frustrated with themselves and edgy with one another. I had to stop this crankiness before it got out of hand. So I asked them to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then I told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed me the papers. Charlie smiled. Mark said, "Thank you for teaching me, Sister. Have a good weekend." That Saturday, I wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and I listed what everyone else had said about that individual.
On Monday I gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" I heard whispered. "I never knew that meant anything to anyone! I didn't know others liked me so much." No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. I never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another again.
That group of students moved on. Several years later, after I returned from vacation, my parents met me at the airport. As we were driving home, Mother asked me the usual questions about the trip, the weather, my experiences in general. There was a lull in the conversation. Mother gave Dad a sideways glance and simply said, "Dad?" My father cleared his throat as he usually did before something important. "The Eklunds called last night," he began. "Really?" I said. "I haven't heard from them in years. I wonder how Mark is." Dad responded quietly. "Mark was killed in Vietnam," he said. "The funeral is tomorrow, and his parents would like it if you could attend." To this day I can still point to the exact spot on I-494 where Dad told me about Mark.
I had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. Mark looked so handsome, so mature. All I could think at that moment was, "Mark, I would give all the masking tape in the world if only you would talk to me." The church was packed with Mark's friends. Chuck's sister sang "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." Why did it have to rain on the day of the funeral? It was difficult enough at the graveside. The pastor said the usual prayers, and the bugler played taps. One by one those who loved Mark took a last walk by the coffin and sprinkled it with holy water. I was the last one to bless the coffin. As I stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to me. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. I nodded as I continued to stare at the coffin. "Mark talked about you a lot," he said.
After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates headed to Chuck's farmhouse for lunch. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting for me. "We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it." Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. I knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which I had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him. "Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it." Mark's classmates started to gather around us. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. I keep it in the top drawer of my desk at home." Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary." Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said without batting an eyelash. "I think we all saved our lists." That's when I finally sat down and cried. I cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.
The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be. So please, tell the people you love and care for that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.
Monday, November 22, 2010
good thots
Leaders provide for their people what the people cannot provide for themselves."
~John C. Maxwell
"A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people so they can get on with their jobs."
~Robert Townsend
How many more idols must you find before your realize that you are the one you have been searching for?
-- Dan Fogelberg
All limits exist only in thought, and that is where they are overcome.
-- Alan Cohen
To understand unconditional love, lock your wife or husband and your dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. When you open it, notice to is happier to see you.
-- Source unknown
~John C. Maxwell
"A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people so they can get on with their jobs."
~Robert Townsend
How many more idols must you find before your realize that you are the one you have been searching for?
-- Dan Fogelberg
All limits exist only in thought, and that is where they are overcome.
-- Alan Cohen
To understand unconditional love, lock your wife or husband and your dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. When you open it, notice to is happier to see you.
-- Source unknown
Friday, November 19, 2010
good thots
We can do no great things; only small things with great love."
~Mother Teresa
"Never underestimate the power of one person to have an impact in this world, touching one person at a time."
~Marcy Blochowiak
Handle Distractions by Doing Nothing
How often does your day go according to plan? If you're like most people, your day is full of interruptions, distractions, and even surprises. Some of those twists and turns require you to react and adjust, but sometimes the best response is to do nothing. Otherwise, you can get wrapped up in trying to manage the distractions instead of letting them pass. For example, if someone interrupts you, it takes less time and energy to let him finish than it does to confront him about his rude behavior. This of course requires patience and restraint. Next time things don't go according to plan, before you jump out of your chair to react, take a deep breath and ask yourself whether it might save you time to do nothing at all.
~Mother Teresa
"Never underestimate the power of one person to have an impact in this world, touching one person at a time."
~Marcy Blochowiak
Handle Distractions by Doing Nothing
How often does your day go according to plan? If you're like most people, your day is full of interruptions, distractions, and even surprises. Some of those twists and turns require you to react and adjust, but sometimes the best response is to do nothing. Otherwise, you can get wrapped up in trying to manage the distractions instead of letting them pass. For example, if someone interrupts you, it takes less time and energy to let him finish than it does to confront him about his rude behavior. This of course requires patience and restraint. Next time things don't go according to plan, before you jump out of your chair to react, take a deep breath and ask yourself whether it might save you time to do nothing at all.
good thots
Is "less" really "more"?
How can you make your life simpler...and happier?
Is your attitude about what you have in life worth catching?
One of the conclusions I've reached as I've grown older and, I hope, wiser is that...less is usually more. In other words, when given the opportunity to simplify your life...take it.
I compare it to pruning a tree. By removing the excess branches the tree has more energy to bear beautiful blossoms and healthy fruit. Your life is no different. When you continually prune the areas not bearing fruit, you will be able to focus your energy on what matters most.
Granted, "simplifying your life" means many things to different people. It can mean more time, less stress, less clutter, fewer bills, and greater peace of mind. Your personal quest for simplicity may include one or all of these attributes. However, I can only share with you what has worked for me, and I hope you can relate. Consider these suggestions:
Say goodbye to "the Joneses": Chasing symbols of success can be an-consuming, hollow existence. Your focus on living in a larger house, driving a more luxurious car, joining the right clubs, and updating your wardrobe will bear no fruit when it comes to peace of mind. Before you make your next purchase, ask yourself these simple questions: Is this something I really need? Can I do without it? Will it make a positive difference in my life?
Live by the 80/20 Rule: In business, there's a rule of thumb that twenty percent of the sales people will generate eighty percent of the business, and that twenty percent of your customers will create eighty percent of your problems. I've found both to be true. I'm suggesting that you apply the rule to your personal life. First, identify the twenty percent of problems that create eighty percent of your stress in life. Then, focus on resolving that twenty percent. You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel by making progress on these major issues. I also predict you'll get a boost in attitude from just making the list.
Unload your emotional baggage: Hate, anger and resentment can lower an invisible ceiling on your future. Repeat to yourself the words of William Ward, "Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the handcuffs of hate."
Many books are available on the subject of simplifying your life, and I recommend you get one. But until you do, start your journey with these three suggestions. You and your attitude will thank me for it.
~~~~~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment."
~Jim Rohn
"Your ability to discipline yourself to set clear goals, and then to work toward them everyday, will do more to guarantee your success than any other single factor."
~Brian Tracy
How can you make your life simpler...and happier?
Is your attitude about what you have in life worth catching?
One of the conclusions I've reached as I've grown older and, I hope, wiser is that...less is usually more. In other words, when given the opportunity to simplify your life...take it.
I compare it to pruning a tree. By removing the excess branches the tree has more energy to bear beautiful blossoms and healthy fruit. Your life is no different. When you continually prune the areas not bearing fruit, you will be able to focus your energy on what matters most.
Granted, "simplifying your life" means many things to different people. It can mean more time, less stress, less clutter, fewer bills, and greater peace of mind. Your personal quest for simplicity may include one or all of these attributes. However, I can only share with you what has worked for me, and I hope you can relate. Consider these suggestions:
Say goodbye to "the Joneses": Chasing symbols of success can be an-consuming, hollow existence. Your focus on living in a larger house, driving a more luxurious car, joining the right clubs, and updating your wardrobe will bear no fruit when it comes to peace of mind. Before you make your next purchase, ask yourself these simple questions: Is this something I really need? Can I do without it? Will it make a positive difference in my life?
Live by the 80/20 Rule: In business, there's a rule of thumb that twenty percent of the sales people will generate eighty percent of the business, and that twenty percent of your customers will create eighty percent of your problems. I've found both to be true. I'm suggesting that you apply the rule to your personal life. First, identify the twenty percent of problems that create eighty percent of your stress in life. Then, focus on resolving that twenty percent. You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel by making progress on these major issues. I also predict you'll get a boost in attitude from just making the list.
Unload your emotional baggage: Hate, anger and resentment can lower an invisible ceiling on your future. Repeat to yourself the words of William Ward, "Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the handcuffs of hate."
Many books are available on the subject of simplifying your life, and I recommend you get one. But until you do, start your journey with these three suggestions. You and your attitude will thank me for it.
~~~~~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment."
~Jim Rohn
"Your ability to discipline yourself to set clear goals, and then to work toward them everyday, will do more to guarantee your success than any other single factor."
~Brian Tracy
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
good thots
LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS
Relationships that last are found to exist between two people who have high regard for each other. Each one thinks the other is outstanding. They praise their partner and feel fortunate to have found them. They bring their own strengths to the relationship and this is a love between equals. In order to get love right, you need to choose someone you admire and respect. --Sheila Clark
LEADERSHIP/SUCCESS
As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit. --Emmanuel Teney
MOTIVATION/INSPIRATION
According to my own experience, the highest level of inner calm comes from the development of love and compassion. The more concerned we are with the happiness of others, the more we increase our own well-being. Friendliness and warmth towards others allow us to relax and help us to dispel any sense of fear or insecurity so we can overcome whatever obstacles we face. --Dalai Lama
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The Introduction from
If Life is a Game...These are the Rules
by Dr. Chérie Carter-Scott
Life has often been compared to a game. We are never told the rules, unfortunately, nor given any instructions about how to play. We simply begin at "go" and make our way around the board, hoping we play it right. We don't exactly know the objective of playing, nor what it means to actually win.
That is what Ten Rules for Being Human is all about. These are the guidelines to playing the game we call life, but they are also much more than that. These Rules will provide you with a basic spiritual primer for what it means to be a human. They are universal truths that everyone inherently knows but has forgotten somewhere along the way. They form the foundation of how we can live a fulfilling, meaningful life.
Each Rule presents its own challenge, which in turn provides certain lessons we all need to learn. Every person on the planet has his or her own set of lessons to learn that are separate and unique from everyone else's, and these lessons, as you will see in Rule Four, will reappear until they are mastered.
The Ten Rules for Being Human are not magic, nor do they promise ten easy steps to serenity. They offer no quick fix for emotional or spiritual ailments, and they are not fast track secrets to enlightenment. Their only purpose is to give you a road map to follow as you travel your path of spiritual growth.
These Rules are not mandates, but rather guidelines as to how to play the game. There is nothing you absolutely must do. I hope this book will help you to become more aware of them. By learning the valuable lessons and wisdom they offer, your journey on the Earth might just a bit easier.
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Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated. It satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening - it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented.
~Arnold Palmer
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Perseverance is not a long race: it is many short races one after another."
~Walter Elliot
"How many a man has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience, would have achieved success."
~Elbert Hubbard
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Appreciation is a wonderful thing: it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well."
~Voltaire
"When we reach out to celebrate and appreciate others, we will always receive more than we give."
~Barbara Glanz
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There are no blocks to creativity. Only distractions.
-- Alan Cohen
A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new."
~Albert Einstein
"Life is a series of experiences, each of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and griefs which we endure help us in our marching onward."
~Henry Ford
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An excerpt from
Attitude is Everything
by Vicki Hitzges
Years ago, I was the public relations director for motivational guru, Zig Ziglar. At the time, he was arguably the best-known, most loved speaker in the world. When audience members heard Zig, they witnessed a man chockfull of energy, vitality and joy. Having worked closely with him and knowing him well, I can tell you that the Zig you saw on stage was the real Zig Ziglar. In fact, I can't remember ever seeing him when he was not happy and upbeat.
The Zig I knew was one carbonated guy.
Every time Zig answered his home phone, he picked up the receiver and said with gusto, "This is Jean Ziglar's happy husband!" And he meant it!
Awhile back one of Zig's closest friends and I were discussing Zig's aura of happiness. "Completely genuine," his friend said. "I have never seen him down." Then he added thoughtfully, but with love, "Hardly what you'd call normal."
"What's Zig's secret?" I asked.
"I think," he said, "it comes down to feeling grateful. Never met a guy more grateful than Zig. Period."
You'd think anyone that grateful must have had an easy life. But that's not so.
Zig started out poor. Dirt poor. His father died when he was six, leaving his mother to raise eleven children alone. The family was virtually penniless. Yet despite their poverty, Mrs. Ziglar instilled a strong work ethic in her children and raised them to believe that both she and God loved them. She also instructed her children to practice saying "please" and "thank you." Those lessons stuck. Her formula of work, love and faith made their difficult lives easier. Gratitude made their lives enjoyable.
Zig once told me, "When we neglect to require our children to say 'thank you' when someone gives them a gift or does something for them, we raise ungrateful children who are highly unlikely to be content. Without gratitude, happiness is rare. With gratitude, the odds for happiness go up dramatically."
Years ago, Zig created the popular phrase, "Have an attitude of gratitude." According to Zig, "The more you recognize and express gratitude for the things you have, the more things you will have to express gratitude for."
I know firsthand that giving thanks brings joy. Awhile back, I heard Oprah Winfrey urge viewers to keep a Gratitude Journal. It seemed pretty schmaltzy to me, so I didn't do it. But Oprah was a jackhammer. Day after day, week after week, she kept pounding on that idea. I'd catch her show here and there. Same thing: Keep a Gratitude Journal. A few months later, I was speaking to a government group and staying in a cruddy hotel. I was seated at the hotel's indoor restaurant by a swimming pool reeking with enough chlorine to purify the Love Canal. As I waited impatiently for my meal to arrive, I suddenly remembered Oprah's directive. What the heck? I had a pen and some scrap paper.
I listed my mother who spent time each day praying for me. I wrote down my father who deeply loves me. My kind, funny brother and his family. My job and the opportunity to travel and encourage people. Friends. Laughter. For the fact that I had a place to sleep that was safe. For a private bathroom. (You start listing - you begin to get thankful!) I quickly listed about 30 things and noticed that not only did I have a lot to be thankful for, but suddenly I was in a terrific mood!
Publisher Malcolm Margolin was grateful for something that's right outside our doors, but most of us have never taken the time to experience it. He wrote, "The next time it begins to rain... lie down on your belly, nestle your chin into the grass, and get a frog's-eye view of how raindrops fall... The sight of hundreds of blades of grass bowing down and popping back up like piano keys strikes me as one of the merriest sights in the world."
That might strike you as advice from a person with not nearly enough to do, but personally, I like it. If Margolin can feel joy in soggy clothes looking at wet grass, you and I can find all kinds of things for which we can give thanks!
Try it! Count your blessings. Jot them down. At least stop and think of as many things as you can that you're thankful for right now. It worked for Oprah, Zig, Margolin and me. Give it a shot. If you want to feel happy, try on an attitude of gratitude for a change in your mood, your outlook and you.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
William James, one of the founders of modern psychology, said this, "The greatest discovery of this generation is that a human being can alter their life by altering their attitude."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
People need to decide to be happy."
~Aaron Martinson
"All my life I've watched people waiting for someone else to make them happy. The way I got it figured, the only one who can make you happy is you."
~Aaron Martinson
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Relationships that last are found to exist between two people who have high regard for each other. Each one thinks the other is outstanding. They praise their partner and feel fortunate to have found them. They bring their own strengths to the relationship and this is a love between equals. In order to get love right, you need to choose someone you admire and respect. --Sheila Clark
LEADERSHIP/SUCCESS
As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit. --Emmanuel Teney
MOTIVATION/INSPIRATION
According to my own experience, the highest level of inner calm comes from the development of love and compassion. The more concerned we are with the happiness of others, the more we increase our own well-being. Friendliness and warmth towards others allow us to relax and help us to dispel any sense of fear or insecurity so we can overcome whatever obstacles we face. --Dalai Lama
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Introduction from
If Life is a Game...These are the Rules
by Dr. Chérie Carter-Scott
Life has often been compared to a game. We are never told the rules, unfortunately, nor given any instructions about how to play. We simply begin at "go" and make our way around the board, hoping we play it right. We don't exactly know the objective of playing, nor what it means to actually win.
That is what Ten Rules for Being Human is all about. These are the guidelines to playing the game we call life, but they are also much more than that. These Rules will provide you with a basic spiritual primer for what it means to be a human. They are universal truths that everyone inherently knows but has forgotten somewhere along the way. They form the foundation of how we can live a fulfilling, meaningful life.
Each Rule presents its own challenge, which in turn provides certain lessons we all need to learn. Every person on the planet has his or her own set of lessons to learn that are separate and unique from everyone else's, and these lessons, as you will see in Rule Four, will reappear until they are mastered.
The Ten Rules for Being Human are not magic, nor do they promise ten easy steps to serenity. They offer no quick fix for emotional or spiritual ailments, and they are not fast track secrets to enlightenment. Their only purpose is to give you a road map to follow as you travel your path of spiritual growth.
These Rules are not mandates, but rather guidelines as to how to play the game. There is nothing you absolutely must do. I hope this book will help you to become more aware of them. By learning the valuable lessons and wisdom they offer, your journey on the Earth might just a bit easier.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated. It satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening - it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented.
~Arnold Palmer
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Perseverance is not a long race: it is many short races one after another."
~Walter Elliot
"How many a man has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience, would have achieved success."
~Elbert Hubbard
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Appreciation is a wonderful thing: it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well."
~Voltaire
"When we reach out to celebrate and appreciate others, we will always receive more than we give."
~Barbara Glanz
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are no blocks to creativity. Only distractions.
-- Alan Cohen
A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new."
~Albert Einstein
"Life is a series of experiences, each of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and griefs which we endure help us in our marching onward."
~Henry Ford
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An excerpt from
Attitude is Everything
by Vicki Hitzges
Years ago, I was the public relations director for motivational guru, Zig Ziglar. At the time, he was arguably the best-known, most loved speaker in the world. When audience members heard Zig, they witnessed a man chockfull of energy, vitality and joy. Having worked closely with him and knowing him well, I can tell you that the Zig you saw on stage was the real Zig Ziglar. In fact, I can't remember ever seeing him when he was not happy and upbeat.
The Zig I knew was one carbonated guy.
Every time Zig answered his home phone, he picked up the receiver and said with gusto, "This is Jean Ziglar's happy husband!" And he meant it!
Awhile back one of Zig's closest friends and I were discussing Zig's aura of happiness. "Completely genuine," his friend said. "I have never seen him down." Then he added thoughtfully, but with love, "Hardly what you'd call normal."
"What's Zig's secret?" I asked.
"I think," he said, "it comes down to feeling grateful. Never met a guy more grateful than Zig. Period."
You'd think anyone that grateful must have had an easy life. But that's not so.
Zig started out poor. Dirt poor. His father died when he was six, leaving his mother to raise eleven children alone. The family was virtually penniless. Yet despite their poverty, Mrs. Ziglar instilled a strong work ethic in her children and raised them to believe that both she and God loved them. She also instructed her children to practice saying "please" and "thank you." Those lessons stuck. Her formula of work, love and faith made their difficult lives easier. Gratitude made their lives enjoyable.
Zig once told me, "When we neglect to require our children to say 'thank you' when someone gives them a gift or does something for them, we raise ungrateful children who are highly unlikely to be content. Without gratitude, happiness is rare. With gratitude, the odds for happiness go up dramatically."
Years ago, Zig created the popular phrase, "Have an attitude of gratitude." According to Zig, "The more you recognize and express gratitude for the things you have, the more things you will have to express gratitude for."
I know firsthand that giving thanks brings joy. Awhile back, I heard Oprah Winfrey urge viewers to keep a Gratitude Journal. It seemed pretty schmaltzy to me, so I didn't do it. But Oprah was a jackhammer. Day after day, week after week, she kept pounding on that idea. I'd catch her show here and there. Same thing: Keep a Gratitude Journal. A few months later, I was speaking to a government group and staying in a cruddy hotel. I was seated at the hotel's indoor restaurant by a swimming pool reeking with enough chlorine to purify the Love Canal. As I waited impatiently for my meal to arrive, I suddenly remembered Oprah's directive. What the heck? I had a pen and some scrap paper.
I listed my mother who spent time each day praying for me. I wrote down my father who deeply loves me. My kind, funny brother and his family. My job and the opportunity to travel and encourage people. Friends. Laughter. For the fact that I had a place to sleep that was safe. For a private bathroom. (You start listing - you begin to get thankful!) I quickly listed about 30 things and noticed that not only did I have a lot to be thankful for, but suddenly I was in a terrific mood!
Publisher Malcolm Margolin was grateful for something that's right outside our doors, but most of us have never taken the time to experience it. He wrote, "The next time it begins to rain... lie down on your belly, nestle your chin into the grass, and get a frog's-eye view of how raindrops fall... The sight of hundreds of blades of grass bowing down and popping back up like piano keys strikes me as one of the merriest sights in the world."
That might strike you as advice from a person with not nearly enough to do, but personally, I like it. If Margolin can feel joy in soggy clothes looking at wet grass, you and I can find all kinds of things for which we can give thanks!
Try it! Count your blessings. Jot them down. At least stop and think of as many things as you can that you're thankful for right now. It worked for Oprah, Zig, Margolin and me. Give it a shot. If you want to feel happy, try on an attitude of gratitude for a change in your mood, your outlook and you.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
William James, one of the founders of modern psychology, said this, "The greatest discovery of this generation is that a human being can alter their life by altering their attitude."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
People need to decide to be happy."
~Aaron Martinson
"All my life I've watched people waiting for someone else to make them happy. The way I got it figured, the only one who can make you happy is you."
~Aaron Martinson
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday, November 15, 2010
good thots
God loves you and there's nothing you can do about it.
-- Sign on church marquis
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
U CANT SEND A DUCK TO EAGLES SCHOOL
A few years ago I had lunch with a top executive from a company known for their legendary retail service. My wife and I are both huge fans, and over lunch I shared with him some of the great service stories his people had provided the Anderson family.
I said, "With the service your people give...you must have a training manual 2 inches thick." He looked up and said, "Mac, we don't have a training manual. What we do is find the best people we can find and we empower them to do whatever it takes to satisfy the customer."
Then he said something I'll never forget. He said, "We learned a long time ago that you can't send a duck to eagle school."
"Excuse me," I said. He repeated..."You can't send a duck to eagle school." He said, "You can't teach someone to smile, you can't teach someone to want to serve, you can't teach personality. What we can do, however, is hire people who have those qualities and we can then teach them about our products and teach them our culture."
As long as I live I will never forget this simple analogy about hiring people. It is branded on my brain forever. And since that day, with every hiring decision I've made, I find myself asking the question: "Am I hiring a duck thinking they will become an eagle?"
I can also honestly say that asking this simple question has saved me from making some important hiring mistakes.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An excerpt from
You Can't Send a Duck to Eagle School
by Mac Anderson
Not long ago, a friend sent me the story of "Old Warwick." It brought a smile to my face, and I think it shares a wonderful lesson for every leader to learn.
A man was lost while driving through the country. As he tried to reach for the map, he accidentally drove off the road into a ditch. Thought he wasn't injured, his car was stuck deep in the mud. So the man walked to a nearby farm to ask for help. "Warwick can get you out of that ditch," said the farmer, pointing to an old mule standing in a field. The man looked at the decrepit old mule and looked at the farmer who just stood there repeating,
"Yep, old Warwick can do the job." The man figured he had nothing to lose. The two men and the mule made their way back to the ditch. The farmer hitched the mule to the car. With a snap of the reins, he shouted,
"Pull, Fred! Pull, Jack! Pull, Ted! Pull, Warwick!"
And the mule pulled that car right out of the ditch.
The man was amazed. He thanked the farmer, patted the mule, and asked, "Why did you call out all of those names before you called Warwick?"
The farmer grinned and said, "Old Warwick is just about blind. As long as he believes he's part of a team, he doesn't mind pulling."
Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishment toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to obtain uncommon results.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Give yourself what you would like to receive from others.
-- Alan Cohen
Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting in a particular way. We become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions."
~Aristotle
Acceptance is the act of embracing what life presents to you with a good attitude."
~Chérie Carter-Scott
"I find that when we really love and accept and approve of ourselves exactly as we are, then everything in life works."
~Louise Hay
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An excerpt from
If Life is a Game...These are the Rules
by Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D
Life has often been compared to a game. We are never told the rules, unfortunately, nor given any instructions about how to play. We simply begin at "go" and make our way around the board, hoping we play it right. We don't exactly know the objective of playing, nor what it means to actually win.
That is what Ten Rules for Being Human is all about. These are the guidelines to playing the game we call life, but they are also much more than that. These Rules will provide you with a basic spiritual primer for what it means to be a human. They are universal truths that everyone inherently knows but has forgotten somewhere along the way. They form the foundation of how we can live a fulfilling, meaningful life.
Each Rule presents its own challenge, which in turn provides certain lessons we all need to learn. Every person on the planet has his or her own set of lessons to learn that are separate and unique from everyone else's, and these lessons, as you will see in Rule Four, will reappear until they are mastered.
The Ten Rules for Being Human are not magic, nor do they promise ten easy steps to serenity. They offer no quick fix for emotional or spiritual ailments, and they are not fast track secrets to enlightenment. Their only purpose is to give you a road map to follow as you travel your path of spiritual growth.
These Rules are not mandates, but rather guidelines as to how to play the game. There is nothing you absolutely must do. I hope this book will help you to become more aware of them. By learning the valuable lessons and wisdom they offer, your journey on the Earth might just a bit easier.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From Frantic to Fantastic!
By Dr. Lin Morel, 2010 International Coach of The Year
Hungry, upset, tired? Ever had a day when you just wished you could go back to bed and start all over? I have...here are three simple actions to turn one of those crazy frantic days into a fantastic day.
Take It Easy. Recently my purse disappeared on a business trip. I took a deep breath, reminded myself that things would work out for me. That didn’t mean they would work out the way I would prefer, just that I would get through the experience. I was overtired and over committed, and losing the purse pushed me further out of balance. Tiny glitches began to multiply.
I kept reminding myself I was just having experiences, nothing more or less. I could berate myself, or forgive myself for judging myself. Stuff happens. Why add insult to injury by yelling at ourselves inwardly when we’re having a ‘bad’ day? It’s clear that what we need is to be a friend to ourselves - not a critic. There are plenty of critics out there delighted to tell us our shortcomings.
Win in Your Imagination. Panic and negative fantasy about what happened or will happen just puts fuel on the fire and can turn you frantic. The more frantic you get, the more off center. The more off center, the more frantic. It’s a vicious cycle.
Practice seeing and feeling the outcome you’d like. Do this regardless of what the “facts” say. You don’t need to know how the situation will turn out. As you practice looking for the positive in any event, rather than dramatizing the negative, you’ll find you shift your state of mind. It’s far easier to regain your composure when you are thinking kind thoughts and focusing on positive outcomes.
Give Yourself a Break. All of us have those kind of days. It was glaringly obvious that I was out of balance: overtired, pushing too much, and preoccupied with multiple technology challenges. The result was an open door for catastrophe(s) to enter. I was out of my own flow and natural body rhythm. The domino effect was in full force and my morning became a comedy of errors.
The key to getting to fantastic is to acknowledge that your body and your environment, situation and circumstances are always giving you feedback. What a great opportunity to step back, gain perspective, and have a good laugh at your situation. You’ll find some relief and regain your composure. Negativity just lets us know that it’s time for a shift. As for myself, I went to dinner, laughed, hung out with some great friends, and let myself off the hook. It was just another day.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Target Practice: Learning to Set Goals
Julie Hadden, star of TV’s The Biggest Loser, shares a new tip she learned to help you achieve the success you deserve.
It’s amazing what you can learn when eavesdropping…um…I mean listening.
I overheard a conversation between my husband and a friend of his recently that made a big impression on me.
They were talking about Howard Hill, the famous archer. His ability with a bow and arrow (along with his record of achievements) go unmatched even 25 years after his death.
Mike and his friend were discussing Hill’s skill. And discussing the unlikelihood of ever being able to match his skill under normal circumstances.
Then his friend proposed this scenario: “What if I blindfolded him and spun him in circles. What would my be chances then?”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How Do You Get to Gratitude?
By Ames S., October 20, 2010
Ever since I’ve been sober, I’ve known that making a gratitude list can help beat the blues. I’ve done it frequently over the years, generally with pretty good success, though I still find times when my mood is so stubborn I just can’t—or won’t—focus on anything positive at all.
At times like these, I’ve actually discovered a trick—a back door to gratitude that works in much the same way as the front door does to pull me out of the dumps. It’s a kind of anti-gratitude list.
This morning, for example, I woke up feeling particularly morose. Maybe it was because my favorite baseball team hasn’t been performing well in the playoffs and lost another game the night before, or the fact that I’ve been struggling with a kind of mid-life malaise that has me thinking about all the opportunities I’ve missed in my life. Whatever the reason, I was way too negative to consider doing a gratitude list, so I figured rather than fighting the negativity, I might as well give in and make a list instead of just how lame I really am. So I started noting down all the things I don’t know how do.
I don’t know how to fly a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a backhoe. I don’t know how to captain an oil tanker. I can’t memorize all the lines to a Broadway play. I don’t know how to play the piano or make my own clothes. I don’t know how to design a car. I don’t know how to speak Chinese.
The more I wrote, the more ludicrous it became and the more I realized that there were, in fact, a few things that I do know how to do—one of which, clearly, is writing lists.
Through this chink in the wall my negativity had constructed around me, the light of gratitude began to shine in.
Of course, I don’t know how well my baseball team will perform in its next game or where my own life will ultimately lead, yet I do know that finding my way to gratitude, whether it be through the front door or the back, is the best thing I can do for myself and those around me.
How do you get to gratitude? .
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dopamine Made Me Do It
By Ames S., September 13, 2010
There have been plenty of advances in the research world regarding alcoholism and addiction since I quit drinking. For instance, the discovery of the neurological circuit in the brain’s limbic system known, beguilingly, as the Pleasure Pathway.
As noted before in this column, I’m not much of a scientist, so I’ll spare you the details of how this circuit in the brain actually works. Suffice it to say, it’s all about dopamine, the neurotransmitter that creates feelings of pleasure. As humans, we have to get a certain amount of pleasure and stimulation—or rewards—from our daily activities. If we don't, we create a pleasure deficit or what is known as “reward deficiency,” and are subject to depression, anxiety and poor performance.
Each day we have to stimulate our reward pathways adequately if we are to function well emotionally, mentally and physically. Me? I discovered alcohol and drugs at an early age, which provided all the pleasure and stimulation I could handle, first flooding and then depleting my system of dopamine as I continued to drink, setting up a pattern where ultimately my limbic system was hijacked by alcohol and drugs.
As I’ve heard many alcoholics remark, “I didn’t set out to become an alcoholic,” yet with my brain’s boom-or-bust approach to dopamine, fueled by an increasing appetite for more of everything, I didn’t have a whole lot of choice. I was a runaway stagecoach with no driver on the top. Luckily for me, I was able to stop drinking, which set off a serious U-turn in my brain’s pleasure pathway—a huge, “Whoaaaaa, Nellie” that slowed the stagecoach down just enough for a new driver to boost up into the seat and ease back on the reins.
But, physical sobriety didn’t end the dopamine devastation going on in my brain. Given how powerful our reward pathways are, the brain demands and will get the pleasure and stimulation it needs, one way or the other, leaving me with basically two options: to consciously choose, seek out, and experience positive, healthy pleasures; or to abdicate that choice to my limbic system, which would doubtless eradicate the dopamine deficiency with its usual tools of overindulgence, thrill seeking, and risky activity.
To my surprise, I discovered that stopping drinking in and of itself wasn’t enough to bring the stagecoach to a halt. As it says in Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions in the chapter on Step Three, “...Sobriety brought about by the admission of alcoholism and by attendance at a few meetings is very good indeed, but it is bound to be a far cry from permanent sobriety and a contented, useful life. That is just where the remaining Steps of the AA program come in. Nothing short of continuous action upon these as a way of life can bring the much-desired result.”
With the full complement of tools freely available in AA, I have been able to rein in the runaway stagecoach over the years, and it is moving now at a comfortable trot. Calm and serene as my life in sobriety has become, however, I find I still need to develop new ways of exercising conscious control over my pleasure-seeking limbic system and to put a little more fun into my life on a regular basis.
In this endeavor, most recently I’ve come to rely on a handful of nuts. I’m not sure just when it happened, but within the last few months I somehow stumbled onto a delectable blend of raw cashews, roasted almonds and unshelled, salted pistachio nuts—a combination so stimulating to me that I’ve been visiting Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, and my local Fairway market at regular intervals for one-pound bags of the individual components. These I carefully mix in proper proportion and disguise in a series of metal tins and plastic containers at the back of the kitchen cabinet, hoping to keep them out of the marauding hands of my omnivorous son-in-law who has been staying with us for the last few weeks as he and my daughter prepare to spend time overseas on a belated honeymoon.
For the most part I’ve been able to maintain my stash in sufficient quantities to provide a needed boost to my pleasure pathway throughout the day, though every so often I lose a tin or two. Feeling a bit neglected, perhaps, with all the time it takes me to purchase, prepare, hide, and evaluate the available level of nuts, my wife has been grumbling a bit and, just the other night, in a slightly vindictive tone of voice, groused that all I was interested in were “those damned nuts.” Looking at each other for a moment, we laughed out loud. Both of us are recovering alcoholics and easily recognize the difference between hiding bottles and stashing a bunch of mixed nuts. Nevertheless, she had a point. I had been getting more distracted of late. Vowing to scale back on my nutty behavior, I whispered apologetically, “The dopamine did it!!!!!!!!!!
-- Sign on church marquis
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
U CANT SEND A DUCK TO EAGLES SCHOOL
A few years ago I had lunch with a top executive from a company known for their legendary retail service. My wife and I are both huge fans, and over lunch I shared with him some of the great service stories his people had provided the Anderson family.
I said, "With the service your people give...you must have a training manual 2 inches thick." He looked up and said, "Mac, we don't have a training manual. What we do is find the best people we can find and we empower them to do whatever it takes to satisfy the customer."
Then he said something I'll never forget. He said, "We learned a long time ago that you can't send a duck to eagle school."
"Excuse me," I said. He repeated..."You can't send a duck to eagle school." He said, "You can't teach someone to smile, you can't teach someone to want to serve, you can't teach personality. What we can do, however, is hire people who have those qualities and we can then teach them about our products and teach them our culture."
As long as I live I will never forget this simple analogy about hiring people. It is branded on my brain forever. And since that day, with every hiring decision I've made, I find myself asking the question: "Am I hiring a duck thinking they will become an eagle?"
I can also honestly say that asking this simple question has saved me from making some important hiring mistakes.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An excerpt from
You Can't Send a Duck to Eagle School
by Mac Anderson
Not long ago, a friend sent me the story of "Old Warwick." It brought a smile to my face, and I think it shares a wonderful lesson for every leader to learn.
A man was lost while driving through the country. As he tried to reach for the map, he accidentally drove off the road into a ditch. Thought he wasn't injured, his car was stuck deep in the mud. So the man walked to a nearby farm to ask for help. "Warwick can get you out of that ditch," said the farmer, pointing to an old mule standing in a field. The man looked at the decrepit old mule and looked at the farmer who just stood there repeating,
"Yep, old Warwick can do the job." The man figured he had nothing to lose. The two men and the mule made their way back to the ditch. The farmer hitched the mule to the car. With a snap of the reins, he shouted,
"Pull, Fred! Pull, Jack! Pull, Ted! Pull, Warwick!"
And the mule pulled that car right out of the ditch.
The man was amazed. He thanked the farmer, patted the mule, and asked, "Why did you call out all of those names before you called Warwick?"
The farmer grinned and said, "Old Warwick is just about blind. As long as he believes he's part of a team, he doesn't mind pulling."
Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishment toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to obtain uncommon results.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Give yourself what you would like to receive from others.
-- Alan Cohen
Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting in a particular way. We become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions."
~Aristotle
Acceptance is the act of embracing what life presents to you with a good attitude."
~Chérie Carter-Scott
"I find that when we really love and accept and approve of ourselves exactly as we are, then everything in life works."
~Louise Hay
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An excerpt from
If Life is a Game...These are the Rules
by Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D
Life has often been compared to a game. We are never told the rules, unfortunately, nor given any instructions about how to play. We simply begin at "go" and make our way around the board, hoping we play it right. We don't exactly know the objective of playing, nor what it means to actually win.
That is what Ten Rules for Being Human is all about. These are the guidelines to playing the game we call life, but they are also much more than that. These Rules will provide you with a basic spiritual primer for what it means to be a human. They are universal truths that everyone inherently knows but has forgotten somewhere along the way. They form the foundation of how we can live a fulfilling, meaningful life.
Each Rule presents its own challenge, which in turn provides certain lessons we all need to learn. Every person on the planet has his or her own set of lessons to learn that are separate and unique from everyone else's, and these lessons, as you will see in Rule Four, will reappear until they are mastered.
The Ten Rules for Being Human are not magic, nor do they promise ten easy steps to serenity. They offer no quick fix for emotional or spiritual ailments, and they are not fast track secrets to enlightenment. Their only purpose is to give you a road map to follow as you travel your path of spiritual growth.
These Rules are not mandates, but rather guidelines as to how to play the game. There is nothing you absolutely must do. I hope this book will help you to become more aware of them. By learning the valuable lessons and wisdom they offer, your journey on the Earth might just a bit easier.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From Frantic to Fantastic!
By Dr. Lin Morel, 2010 International Coach of The Year
Hungry, upset, tired? Ever had a day when you just wished you could go back to bed and start all over? I have...here are three simple actions to turn one of those crazy frantic days into a fantastic day.
Take It Easy. Recently my purse disappeared on a business trip. I took a deep breath, reminded myself that things would work out for me. That didn’t mean they would work out the way I would prefer, just that I would get through the experience. I was overtired and over committed, and losing the purse pushed me further out of balance. Tiny glitches began to multiply.
I kept reminding myself I was just having experiences, nothing more or less. I could berate myself, or forgive myself for judging myself. Stuff happens. Why add insult to injury by yelling at ourselves inwardly when we’re having a ‘bad’ day? It’s clear that what we need is to be a friend to ourselves - not a critic. There are plenty of critics out there delighted to tell us our shortcomings.
Win in Your Imagination. Panic and negative fantasy about what happened or will happen just puts fuel on the fire and can turn you frantic. The more frantic you get, the more off center. The more off center, the more frantic. It’s a vicious cycle.
Practice seeing and feeling the outcome you’d like. Do this regardless of what the “facts” say. You don’t need to know how the situation will turn out. As you practice looking for the positive in any event, rather than dramatizing the negative, you’ll find you shift your state of mind. It’s far easier to regain your composure when you are thinking kind thoughts and focusing on positive outcomes.
Give Yourself a Break. All of us have those kind of days. It was glaringly obvious that I was out of balance: overtired, pushing too much, and preoccupied with multiple technology challenges. The result was an open door for catastrophe(s) to enter. I was out of my own flow and natural body rhythm. The domino effect was in full force and my morning became a comedy of errors.
The key to getting to fantastic is to acknowledge that your body and your environment, situation and circumstances are always giving you feedback. What a great opportunity to step back, gain perspective, and have a good laugh at your situation. You’ll find some relief and regain your composure. Negativity just lets us know that it’s time for a shift. As for myself, I went to dinner, laughed, hung out with some great friends, and let myself off the hook. It was just another day.
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Target Practice: Learning to Set Goals
Julie Hadden, star of TV’s The Biggest Loser, shares a new tip she learned to help you achieve the success you deserve.
It’s amazing what you can learn when eavesdropping…um…I mean listening.
I overheard a conversation between my husband and a friend of his recently that made a big impression on me.
They were talking about Howard Hill, the famous archer. His ability with a bow and arrow (along with his record of achievements) go unmatched even 25 years after his death.
Mike and his friend were discussing Hill’s skill. And discussing the unlikelihood of ever being able to match his skill under normal circumstances.
Then his friend proposed this scenario: “What if I blindfolded him and spun him in circles. What would my be chances then?”
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How Do You Get to Gratitude?
By Ames S., October 20, 2010
Ever since I’ve been sober, I’ve known that making a gratitude list can help beat the blues. I’ve done it frequently over the years, generally with pretty good success, though I still find times when my mood is so stubborn I just can’t—or won’t—focus on anything positive at all.
At times like these, I’ve actually discovered a trick—a back door to gratitude that works in much the same way as the front door does to pull me out of the dumps. It’s a kind of anti-gratitude list.
This morning, for example, I woke up feeling particularly morose. Maybe it was because my favorite baseball team hasn’t been performing well in the playoffs and lost another game the night before, or the fact that I’ve been struggling with a kind of mid-life malaise that has me thinking about all the opportunities I’ve missed in my life. Whatever the reason, I was way too negative to consider doing a gratitude list, so I figured rather than fighting the negativity, I might as well give in and make a list instead of just how lame I really am. So I started noting down all the things I don’t know how do.
I don’t know how to fly a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a backhoe. I don’t know how to captain an oil tanker. I can’t memorize all the lines to a Broadway play. I don’t know how to play the piano or make my own clothes. I don’t know how to design a car. I don’t know how to speak Chinese.
The more I wrote, the more ludicrous it became and the more I realized that there were, in fact, a few things that I do know how to do—one of which, clearly, is writing lists.
Through this chink in the wall my negativity had constructed around me, the light of gratitude began to shine in.
Of course, I don’t know how well my baseball team will perform in its next game or where my own life will ultimately lead, yet I do know that finding my way to gratitude, whether it be through the front door or the back, is the best thing I can do for myself and those around me.
How do you get to gratitude? .
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The Dopamine Made Me Do It
By Ames S., September 13, 2010
There have been plenty of advances in the research world regarding alcoholism and addiction since I quit drinking. For instance, the discovery of the neurological circuit in the brain’s limbic system known, beguilingly, as the Pleasure Pathway.
As noted before in this column, I’m not much of a scientist, so I’ll spare you the details of how this circuit in the brain actually works. Suffice it to say, it’s all about dopamine, the neurotransmitter that creates feelings of pleasure. As humans, we have to get a certain amount of pleasure and stimulation—or rewards—from our daily activities. If we don't, we create a pleasure deficit or what is known as “reward deficiency,” and are subject to depression, anxiety and poor performance.
Each day we have to stimulate our reward pathways adequately if we are to function well emotionally, mentally and physically. Me? I discovered alcohol and drugs at an early age, which provided all the pleasure and stimulation I could handle, first flooding and then depleting my system of dopamine as I continued to drink, setting up a pattern where ultimately my limbic system was hijacked by alcohol and drugs.
As I’ve heard many alcoholics remark, “I didn’t set out to become an alcoholic,” yet with my brain’s boom-or-bust approach to dopamine, fueled by an increasing appetite for more of everything, I didn’t have a whole lot of choice. I was a runaway stagecoach with no driver on the top. Luckily for me, I was able to stop drinking, which set off a serious U-turn in my brain’s pleasure pathway—a huge, “Whoaaaaa, Nellie” that slowed the stagecoach down just enough for a new driver to boost up into the seat and ease back on the reins.
But, physical sobriety didn’t end the dopamine devastation going on in my brain. Given how powerful our reward pathways are, the brain demands and will get the pleasure and stimulation it needs, one way or the other, leaving me with basically two options: to consciously choose, seek out, and experience positive, healthy pleasures; or to abdicate that choice to my limbic system, which would doubtless eradicate the dopamine deficiency with its usual tools of overindulgence, thrill seeking, and risky activity.
To my surprise, I discovered that stopping drinking in and of itself wasn’t enough to bring the stagecoach to a halt. As it says in Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions in the chapter on Step Three, “...Sobriety brought about by the admission of alcoholism and by attendance at a few meetings is very good indeed, but it is bound to be a far cry from permanent sobriety and a contented, useful life. That is just where the remaining Steps of the AA program come in. Nothing short of continuous action upon these as a way of life can bring the much-desired result.”
With the full complement of tools freely available in AA, I have been able to rein in the runaway stagecoach over the years, and it is moving now at a comfortable trot. Calm and serene as my life in sobriety has become, however, I find I still need to develop new ways of exercising conscious control over my pleasure-seeking limbic system and to put a little more fun into my life on a regular basis.
In this endeavor, most recently I’ve come to rely on a handful of nuts. I’m not sure just when it happened, but within the last few months I somehow stumbled onto a delectable blend of raw cashews, roasted almonds and unshelled, salted pistachio nuts—a combination so stimulating to me that I’ve been visiting Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, and my local Fairway market at regular intervals for one-pound bags of the individual components. These I carefully mix in proper proportion and disguise in a series of metal tins and plastic containers at the back of the kitchen cabinet, hoping to keep them out of the marauding hands of my omnivorous son-in-law who has been staying with us for the last few weeks as he and my daughter prepare to spend time overseas on a belated honeymoon.
For the most part I’ve been able to maintain my stash in sufficient quantities to provide a needed boost to my pleasure pathway throughout the day, though every so often I lose a tin or two. Feeling a bit neglected, perhaps, with all the time it takes me to purchase, prepare, hide, and evaluate the available level of nuts, my wife has been grumbling a bit and, just the other night, in a slightly vindictive tone of voice, groused that all I was interested in were “those damned nuts.” Looking at each other for a moment, we laughed out loud. Both of us are recovering alcoholics and easily recognize the difference between hiding bottles and stashing a bunch of mixed nuts. Nevertheless, she had a point. I had been getting more distracted of late. Vowing to scale back on my nutty behavior, I whispered apologetically, “The dopamine did it!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
The 7 Essential Universal Laws
1. The Law of Attraction
The ‘Law of Attraction’ states that whatever is broadcast out into the universe is joined by (or attracted to) energies that are of an equal frequency, resonance, or vibration.
There are many ways to express the ‘Law of Attraction’:
Where your attention goes, your energy flows.
That which you think about expands.
Like attracts like.
That which is like unto itself is drawn.
There are also a number of words that people, who don’t know about or understand this law, use to describe it. Like:
Out-of-the-blue
Synchronicity
Serendipity
Luck
Meant to be
Fell into place
Fate
Karma
Coincidence
Again, the ‘Law of Attraction’ states that whatever is broadcast out into the universe is joined by (or attracted to) energies that are of an equal frequency, resonance, or vibration.
The Law of Attraction delivers both what is wanted and what is unwanted depending on the signal we send out to the Universe.
You attract what you are and that which you concentrate upon. If you are feeling negative emotions, you draw in and experience negativity. If you are feeling positive emotions, you draw in and experience positive life experiences. You can attract to you only those qualities you possess. So, if you want freedom and joy in your life, you must feel what it already feels like to feel freedom and joy in your life right now.
Seriously, take a second right now and see what that feels like. It may be hard to do if you have a lot of distractions going on around you. Take a second and close the door, turn off the TV or radio, or put on some headphones so that you have some peace and quite.
Now, close your eyes and truly imagine...
What does FREEDOM feel like?
Does it mean changing your job, or moving and living somewhere else?
What does JOY feel like?
What does ABUNDANCE feel like?
Okay, now that you’ve imagined it, now close your eyes again and pretend that you already have it. Imagine that outside of the darkness of your eyelids is your dream home, your dream car, a safe full of money, a partner who loves and adores you, a healthy body, etc.
You can not just imagine having it. You have to truly feel that you already have it, and that you deserve it.
Now let me ask you this, “How many times throughout the day do you focus and live in the space that you are in right now, after imagining all these wonderful things? And how many times a day do you focus on the negative things like; I don’t have enough money, enough time, a good partner, I’m fat, people don’t like me…
trust me, you and I both know the list goes on and on.”
How can we ever expect to attract a ‘good life’ when we’re constantly focusing on the bad?
The Law of Attraction
is Not a New Concept.
This is not a new concept or a newly discovered Law. The Law of Attraction has been communicated through the writing and teachings of some of the greatest teachers in history such as Jesus and Buddha. Although it has been fairly recently that The Law of Attraction was given a name, it has existed since the beginning of time!
Here are just a couple quotes from their teachings.
"Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."
Who said this? Jesus. Jesus showed that to stop suffering, you need to change your limiting thoughts and beliefs. It was her belief, which began as a thought that stopped her suffering. He didn't say, "I have healed you", he said "Your Faith has healed you."
Having faith is an empowering belief. What are your beliefs that limit you from having what you desire? It is those beliefs that will keep you from attracting everything you want in your life. You need to believe in the Universe and yourself!
"As a man thinketh, so is he"
Who said this? Buddha. Whatever thoughts you focus upon will manifest into form and ultimately create your reality.
"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world."
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him."
Let me also clarify again that the ‘Law of Attraction’ works in both directions, negative and positive. Meaning, if you are focusing your energy on not having enough money to pay the bills, guess what? You won’t have enough money to pay the bills. Now, let’s say that you are in the same predicament and you ‘know’ that you will have enough money for bills, even if you don’t right then, you will attract a way to have enough money for the bills. It may manifest in money itself, or in an idea on how to create the money.
The hardest part about the Law of Attraction, is knowing how to put yourself in the frame of mind that you need to be in, in order to attract the positive results into your life. It’s hard to not think or put energy into the ‘bad’ or negative things in life. Especially when they’re all around you. That’s where the other Essential Universal Laws come into play.
So again, I can not express enough that doing only what the Law of Attraction suggests, is not enough. It is necessary, but it is not enough. That’s where The Secret and many other Law of Attraction coaches and teachers fall short.
Let’s move on to the other Essential Universal Laws so that you can start creating your dream life, Right Now!
The Essential Universal Laws
that they didn’t teach you!
2. The Law of Deliberate Creation.
The Second Law that we must learn, understand and implement if we want to see real results is ‘The Law of Deliberate Creation’.
The Law of Deliberate Creation: That which I give thought to, I begin to attract. What I give thought to with emotion, I attract more quickly.
That which you think about, you get. When you give thought to something you desire with an expectation or believe in it, you are then in the place to receive it.
So, how is this different from the Law of Attraction?
The difference between the Law of Attraction and the Law of Deliberate Creation is that, the Law of Attraction is like a boomerang. Whatever we give out with our energy vibrations (thoughts, feelings, etc) we will receive back to us. The Law of Deliberate Creation is offering a vibration knowingly, so that you don’t create by default. Most of the time, unless you are aware of these laws, you are offering a vibration unknowingly.
For example, if you are witnessing something that makes you happy, you are raising your vibration and you will then vibrate happiness. On the other hand, if you witness something that makes you angry, you will offer that same negative vibration. The Law of Attraction responds to whatever you are vibrating by giving you more of the same.
When you don’t apply the Law of Deliberate Creation you are an observer. You focus on your current reality and you have a vibration (either positive or negative). The Law of Attraction then responds to that vibration and you receive more of the same.
Let’s say that you are in debt. You observe this “reality” and while observing that you don’t have enough money to pay your bills, you unconsciously offer a vibration that is negative (fear, worry, doubt, etc). The Law of Attraction responds to that negative, “I am in debt” vibration and as a result, the Law of Attraction brings you more of what you are vibrating (I am in debt) and feeds the cycle.
See, the Law of Attraction can work for you and against you. It is imperative that you fully understand the Law Of Deliberate Creation and you are aware of how all of these laws work together and affect each other.
Let’s move on.
3. The Law of Allowing.
The third essential Universal Law is the Law of Allowing.
The Law of Allowing: This is the principle of least action, of no resistance.
The application of the Law of Allowing will bring absolute freedom in your life. You will feel free in your relationships to be who you are. You will feel free in your career to do what you want. And you will feel free in your life to create whatever you desire.
There are two ways to apply this law. First is the way to allow others to be as they are, and second, is the way we allow (receive) from the Universe to deliver all that we desire. Let’s first look at allowing others to be as they are.
“I am that which I am. While I am that which I am, I allow others to be that which they are.”
Let’s say that again, only this time, say it out loud:
“I am that which I am.
While I am that which I am,
I allow others to be that which they are.”
There are no two people that are the same, even though we can share many similar traits. We all are very different and unique.
If you can accept, and not just tolerate another person’s difference and similarities, then you understand the Law of Allowing.
If you are out of alignment with the Law of Allowing you believe that another person needs to think, feel, believe, and act according to how you think they “should”. I call this having Perfect Pictures and this can cause great suffering in your life and your relationships. This is the opposite of accepting another as they are. If you have a deep rooted fear that unless everyone thinks, feels, believes, and acts in a certain way, “your way” then they are somehow “wrong”, you then judge.
Judgment is a lower level emotion and based on the Law of Attraction, you will attract more negative people, circumstances, and situations to you. If you need to make everyone conform in order to feel good about yourself and your world, you will never experience freedom. This is the exact opposite of freedom. This is bondage. We can never get the rest of the entire world to behave the way we think they “should”. This is why wars start.
Let’s look at a possible example. If you are observing someone that talks with their mouth full of food, and instead of allowing them to eat the way they are, you find yourself getting disgusted and upset with that person. You really want that person to change, or stop doing the certain behavior (talking with their mouth full of food). You are afraid that you will look badly as well. Instead of just allowing that person to be as they are, you take it personally and let it affect your mood, and ultimately robbing you of your freedom.
The Law of Allowing is one of the laws that govern our Universe. These laws are eternal, they are forever. These laws are universal, which means they are everywhere. They are absolute, whether you know they are or not. They exist whether you accept they exist or not. They influence your life, whether you know that they do, or not.
When we desire something to manifest from the Universe, and we are feeling negative emotions, we are blocking that creation from coming into manifestation. It is our negative emotions that holds us a part from it. When we release our resistance, we are back in the state of allowing and all the abundance, freedom, joy, success, prosperity, wealth, happiness (you name it) can flow to us.
Can you see how all the Essential Universal Laws work together? It is designed that way. To learn only one law is a good start, but it is knowing and applying all of them that will give you the life of your dreams, if you allow it.
This is getting exciting, isn’t it?
We’re not even half way there yet, so if you need to, take a second and rest your eyes, stretch, grab a glass of water (or wine) :).
Don’t worry, I’ll wait for you.
On to the next Law…
4. The Law of Sufficiency and Abundance
The fourth essential Universal Law is the Law of Sufficiency and Abundance.
The Law of Sufficiency and Abundance: You have everything within you right now to make your life a living dream.
We live in a Universe of abundance, although the majority of us have learned to view it as a Universe of scarcity.
“Our sufficiency is from God” 11 Corinthians 3:5
There is an unlimited supply of every good and wonderful thing, and experience. There is enough for everyone! There is always enough. We have bought into a lie that there is not enough. This lie is the lie of scarcity and limitation.
The truth is we are completely abundant and are able to create whatever we desire. The truth is that we live in a world where, spiritually and energetically speaking, there is an unlimited supply of goods. You were given life, and have access to the power that you need in order to create the life in the way that you choose. And you are not hindered or cheated out of your “portion” of prosperity if someone else achieves or acquires success. We are eternal beings in physical form; well-being and abundance are the basis of our Universe.
Beliefs based in lack affect our ability to manifest our hearts desires, from a space of ease and effortlessness. This lack mentality controls us by keeping us longing for what others have, or fighting to be better than others.
Most of us feel that who we are, what we have, and what we are doing is not enough. That is a big lie. You learned about the Law of Attraction. If you feel that nothing is ever enough, that is what you will be attracting into your life. If you feel you are not enough, you are right. If you feel what you have is not enough, you will continue to receive not enough.
It is time that we learned to tap into the truth of our being. This truth is that we are enough. In this moment, we are perfect, whole and complete just as we are. Because we are growing and expanding beings, we will always desire to have more in our lives, but if we are coming from a place of “not enough” we never will truly feel that whatever we manifest or bring into our lives is enough.
So when is it going to be enough?
When are you going to feel satisfied?
Is it when you lose the 10 pounds?
When you finally have a million dollars in the bank?
When you finally have your ideal relationship?
How do you know what will be enough?
If you are always looking outside of you, at circumstances and situations to become more than they are, you are not in the now and appreciating what you have. If you continue to chase things outside of you in order for you to feel that you are enough, you will never feel truly satisfied. There is always more to achieve, acquire, and do.
When you come from a place of feeling that everything in your life right now is sufficient, you will know great peace. When you can feel gratitude for what you currently have in your life, while at the same time feeling excited for all the things you desire to manifest, you will know complete joy.
What if you aligned your thoughts and emotions right now with abundance? What if you felt that you are enough? You are worthy. You have everything that you need right now inside of you to build a fortune and to reach your goals. You have all you need inside of you to create your ideal job. You have everything inside of you to attract your ideal mate. You always have enough.
So how can you start applying this law right now?
Be satisfied now. Don’t wait to be satisfied.
Put your hand over your heart and say to yourself, “I am satisfied with what I have. My love, happiness, and security is coming to me from within, from the creator, as my source, and supply.”
Start with where you are and what you have right now. Set your goals, see yourself already there, and be resolved to succeed in attaining your goals, no matter what it takes.
Manifestation happens when we can be in a place of feeling at peace with where we are, while being excited about the possibilities ahead. That is why it’s so important to learn about all the Laws, not just the Law of Attraction.
5. The Law of Pure Potentiality
The fifth essential Universal Law is the Law of Pure Potentiality.
This law is based on the fact that the true essence of who we are is pure consciousness. The Source of all creation is pure consciousness, or pure potentiality, seeking to express itself into form. When we realize that our inner being, the Spirit that animates our minds and bodies, is one of pure potentiality, we are then in alignment with the power that manifests everything in the Universe. Anything is possible and there is unlimited creativity.
As we learned in the Law of Sufficiency and Abundance, the Universe knows no limits. The potential of the Universe and everything in it is unlimited. The only limits are the ones we impose through our fears, doubts, uncertainty, lack of faith, lack of confidence, or any other lower level emotion.
If you feel limits in your life, your Ego will feel fear and desire things that will make you feel “free”, such as money, prestige, and power.
What happens to you when the objects disappear?
What if you have all the money you want, and then suddenly it is gone?
Your freedom was conditional. If in your love, in your faith, you know that you are part of the Universe, that The Universe will provide all your needs when you require them, then you are unlimited in your potential. When you are in alignment with pure potentiality, there is no fear. You are then truly free.
If you know and develop a relationship with Source, then act "As If" you were part of Source, you will be in touch with pure potentiality. That is why the practice of meditation is so powerful. When you allow yourself to be silent to just be, you develop the connection with Source, with your pure potentiality.
When we commune with nature and witness the intelligence within every living thing, we are connecting to pure potentiality.
How do you feel when you sit and watch a sunset, or listen to the waves of the ocean crash up against the shore, or smell the beautiful scent of a flower? Pure potentiality created all those things, and so much more.
You are unlimited, know only love, there is no need to fear, know that you are part of Pure Potentiality. Anything is possible, because nothing is impossible. When you are in alignment with the Law of Pure Potentiality, you feel centered and at peace.
Did I lose you on that one? I hope not. If you need to, reread that law again before we continue.
Alright, let’s move on.
6. The Law of Detachment
The sixth essential Universal Law is the Law of Detachment.
The Law of Detachment says “in order to acquire anything in the physical Universe, you have to relinquish your attachment to it.”
This does not mean that you have to create by default or that you should not desire or intend for what you want to create. Remember, “meant-to-be” and “luck” do not exist. We need to work with the Law of Attraction to create what we desire. This again means that the Law of Detachment works in harmony with the other laws, including the Law of Attraction.
It is all about trust. When we are in a state of detachment, we trust. To be detached from the outcome of a result means that you have learned to trust.
What is trust? TRUST - To Rely Unto Spirit Totally
When you know that Spirit will give you what you need - not necessarily what you want (that's Ego's job) - then you will learn to do the work that is required to be done and move on. The results will take care of themselves. The timing of how things manifest will come at the perfect time. When we trust the Universe knows what that perfect timing is, it happens even faster, because we get out of the way. If you stand in the way of the energy creating the outcome, or result, through your lack of trust, insecurity and fearfulness, you put a barrier in the way of blocking the efficiency of that flow of energy (resistance). By learning to trust, you live in the wisdom of insecurity and uncertainty where there are unlimited opportunities being created in the present moment of now. Remember the Law of Pure Potentiality?
Again . . . see how all the laws work together?
Detachment is another way of saying allowing. It is when you combine your intentions and detach from the outcomes that your desires will manifest.
This is not to say that you should not make goals and take the action steps in achieving those goals. The Law of Deliberate Creation, the power of intention, and the Law of Detachment all work together to create your desires. Applying the Law of Detachment to your goals and desires allows you to be flexible and trust when the Universe delivers you something for which you are a vibrational match to, but you didn’t expect. Detachment allows you to stay open to allow the Universe to bring you something even better than you thought possible.
7. The Law of Polarity
The seventh essential Universal Law is the Law of Polarity. This law states that “Unity is plural at a minimum of two.” In the duality that exists there are two poles, or opposites, of everything. Polarity represents the two extremes of one "thing" which is the same thing. For example, temperature has polarity evidenced by hot at one extreme and cold at the other extreme. The temperature "thing" is the same "thing" and it is evidenced by two poles, or opposites, or extremes - hot and cold. Along this same "thing" degrees measure the perception of the attitude of the individual to what is considered hot and what is considered cold. Hot and cold mean different things to different people - so does rich and poor, love and hate, good and bad, etc.
What is important in understanding the Law of Polarity is the ability to understand the power of transformation. By choosing to change your perception and your resulting attitude you can shift your perception of someone or something from, say, "bad" to "good". This becomes your new reality now. By seeking a higher frequency vibration of energy in this transformation process the previous lower frequency of vibration of energy gets replaced. "Bad" can become "Good", as an example. The choice made, the decision implemented automatically involves the Law of Cause and Effect - reaping what you sow - depending on the choice made in your responses. You can raise your vibrations and positively change others.
It is up to you to make a choice to change your perception and your attitude towards something or someone. Just as it is up to you to create the life you desire.
Another example of the Law of Polarity is the physical and the metaphysical. The physical is what is visible and which we can see, hear, touch, smell and taste. The metaphysical is that which we feel, such as emotions, feelings and energy. In order for you to create what you desire you have to have both the physical and metaphysical. The physical part of us needs to take action to make things happen in the Universe, while the metaphysical part of us needs to do the energy work. It is when we combine both the polar opposites that we create what we truly desire.
This is why most people are frustrated with The Secret and there is so much doubt in the teachings. Action in the physical world, as well as the energy work in the metaphysical world need to take place in order for things to manifest.
Wow!
Wow! That’s a lot to take in huh? Take a minute to bookmark this page so that you can come back and reference it.
So… What’s next?
At this point you should have a good understanding of the 7 Essential Universal Laws. It should be very clear that these Universal Laws can’t work alone or on their own. They work in unison. Just like the more common laws, like the Law of Time and the Law of Space they do not work alone, they work in unison with each other. It’s not like when the Law of Time is in action, the Law of Space stops working. No, they work together and together they create our world and our reality. The 7 Essential Laws work just the same. Together, they will create your reality.
The ‘Law of Attraction’ states that whatever is broadcast out into the universe is joined by (or attracted to) energies that are of an equal frequency, resonance, or vibration.
There are many ways to express the ‘Law of Attraction’:
Where your attention goes, your energy flows.
That which you think about expands.
Like attracts like.
That which is like unto itself is drawn.
There are also a number of words that people, who don’t know about or understand this law, use to describe it. Like:
Out-of-the-blue
Synchronicity
Serendipity
Luck
Meant to be
Fell into place
Fate
Karma
Coincidence
Again, the ‘Law of Attraction’ states that whatever is broadcast out into the universe is joined by (or attracted to) energies that are of an equal frequency, resonance, or vibration.
The Law of Attraction delivers both what is wanted and what is unwanted depending on the signal we send out to the Universe.
You attract what you are and that which you concentrate upon. If you are feeling negative emotions, you draw in and experience negativity. If you are feeling positive emotions, you draw in and experience positive life experiences. You can attract to you only those qualities you possess. So, if you want freedom and joy in your life, you must feel what it already feels like to feel freedom and joy in your life right now.
Seriously, take a second right now and see what that feels like. It may be hard to do if you have a lot of distractions going on around you. Take a second and close the door, turn off the TV or radio, or put on some headphones so that you have some peace and quite.
Now, close your eyes and truly imagine...
What does FREEDOM feel like?
Does it mean changing your job, or moving and living somewhere else?
What does JOY feel like?
What does ABUNDANCE feel like?
Okay, now that you’ve imagined it, now close your eyes again and pretend that you already have it. Imagine that outside of the darkness of your eyelids is your dream home, your dream car, a safe full of money, a partner who loves and adores you, a healthy body, etc.
You can not just imagine having it. You have to truly feel that you already have it, and that you deserve it.
Now let me ask you this, “How many times throughout the day do you focus and live in the space that you are in right now, after imagining all these wonderful things? And how many times a day do you focus on the negative things like; I don’t have enough money, enough time, a good partner, I’m fat, people don’t like me…
trust me, you and I both know the list goes on and on.”
How can we ever expect to attract a ‘good life’ when we’re constantly focusing on the bad?
The Law of Attraction
is Not a New Concept.
This is not a new concept or a newly discovered Law. The Law of Attraction has been communicated through the writing and teachings of some of the greatest teachers in history such as Jesus and Buddha. Although it has been fairly recently that The Law of Attraction was given a name, it has existed since the beginning of time!
Here are just a couple quotes from their teachings.
"Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."
Who said this? Jesus. Jesus showed that to stop suffering, you need to change your limiting thoughts and beliefs. It was her belief, which began as a thought that stopped her suffering. He didn't say, "I have healed you", he said "Your Faith has healed you."
Having faith is an empowering belief. What are your beliefs that limit you from having what you desire? It is those beliefs that will keep you from attracting everything you want in your life. You need to believe in the Universe and yourself!
"As a man thinketh, so is he"
Who said this? Buddha. Whatever thoughts you focus upon will manifest into form and ultimately create your reality.
"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world."
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him."
Let me also clarify again that the ‘Law of Attraction’ works in both directions, negative and positive. Meaning, if you are focusing your energy on not having enough money to pay the bills, guess what? You won’t have enough money to pay the bills. Now, let’s say that you are in the same predicament and you ‘know’ that you will have enough money for bills, even if you don’t right then, you will attract a way to have enough money for the bills. It may manifest in money itself, or in an idea on how to create the money.
The hardest part about the Law of Attraction, is knowing how to put yourself in the frame of mind that you need to be in, in order to attract the positive results into your life. It’s hard to not think or put energy into the ‘bad’ or negative things in life. Especially when they’re all around you. That’s where the other Essential Universal Laws come into play.
So again, I can not express enough that doing only what the Law of Attraction suggests, is not enough. It is necessary, but it is not enough. That’s where The Secret and many other Law of Attraction coaches and teachers fall short.
Let’s move on to the other Essential Universal Laws so that you can start creating your dream life, Right Now!
The Essential Universal Laws
that they didn’t teach you!
2. The Law of Deliberate Creation.
The Second Law that we must learn, understand and implement if we want to see real results is ‘The Law of Deliberate Creation’.
The Law of Deliberate Creation: That which I give thought to, I begin to attract. What I give thought to with emotion, I attract more quickly.
That which you think about, you get. When you give thought to something you desire with an expectation or believe in it, you are then in the place to receive it.
So, how is this different from the Law of Attraction?
The difference between the Law of Attraction and the Law of Deliberate Creation is that, the Law of Attraction is like a boomerang. Whatever we give out with our energy vibrations (thoughts, feelings, etc) we will receive back to us. The Law of Deliberate Creation is offering a vibration knowingly, so that you don’t create by default. Most of the time, unless you are aware of these laws, you are offering a vibration unknowingly.
For example, if you are witnessing something that makes you happy, you are raising your vibration and you will then vibrate happiness. On the other hand, if you witness something that makes you angry, you will offer that same negative vibration. The Law of Attraction responds to whatever you are vibrating by giving you more of the same.
When you don’t apply the Law of Deliberate Creation you are an observer. You focus on your current reality and you have a vibration (either positive or negative). The Law of Attraction then responds to that vibration and you receive more of the same.
Let’s say that you are in debt. You observe this “reality” and while observing that you don’t have enough money to pay your bills, you unconsciously offer a vibration that is negative (fear, worry, doubt, etc). The Law of Attraction responds to that negative, “I am in debt” vibration and as a result, the Law of Attraction brings you more of what you are vibrating (I am in debt) and feeds the cycle.
See, the Law of Attraction can work for you and against you. It is imperative that you fully understand the Law Of Deliberate Creation and you are aware of how all of these laws work together and affect each other.
Let’s move on.
3. The Law of Allowing.
The third essential Universal Law is the Law of Allowing.
The Law of Allowing: This is the principle of least action, of no resistance.
The application of the Law of Allowing will bring absolute freedom in your life. You will feel free in your relationships to be who you are. You will feel free in your career to do what you want. And you will feel free in your life to create whatever you desire.
There are two ways to apply this law. First is the way to allow others to be as they are, and second, is the way we allow (receive) from the Universe to deliver all that we desire. Let’s first look at allowing others to be as they are.
“I am that which I am. While I am that which I am, I allow others to be that which they are.”
Let’s say that again, only this time, say it out loud:
“I am that which I am.
While I am that which I am,
I allow others to be that which they are.”
There are no two people that are the same, even though we can share many similar traits. We all are very different and unique.
If you can accept, and not just tolerate another person’s difference and similarities, then you understand the Law of Allowing.
If you are out of alignment with the Law of Allowing you believe that another person needs to think, feel, believe, and act according to how you think they “should”. I call this having Perfect Pictures and this can cause great suffering in your life and your relationships. This is the opposite of accepting another as they are. If you have a deep rooted fear that unless everyone thinks, feels, believes, and acts in a certain way, “your way” then they are somehow “wrong”, you then judge.
Judgment is a lower level emotion and based on the Law of Attraction, you will attract more negative people, circumstances, and situations to you. If you need to make everyone conform in order to feel good about yourself and your world, you will never experience freedom. This is the exact opposite of freedom. This is bondage. We can never get the rest of the entire world to behave the way we think they “should”. This is why wars start.
Let’s look at a possible example. If you are observing someone that talks with their mouth full of food, and instead of allowing them to eat the way they are, you find yourself getting disgusted and upset with that person. You really want that person to change, or stop doing the certain behavior (talking with their mouth full of food). You are afraid that you will look badly as well. Instead of just allowing that person to be as they are, you take it personally and let it affect your mood, and ultimately robbing you of your freedom.
The Law of Allowing is one of the laws that govern our Universe. These laws are eternal, they are forever. These laws are universal, which means they are everywhere. They are absolute, whether you know they are or not. They exist whether you accept they exist or not. They influence your life, whether you know that they do, or not.
When we desire something to manifest from the Universe, and we are feeling negative emotions, we are blocking that creation from coming into manifestation. It is our negative emotions that holds us a part from it. When we release our resistance, we are back in the state of allowing and all the abundance, freedom, joy, success, prosperity, wealth, happiness (you name it) can flow to us.
Can you see how all the Essential Universal Laws work together? It is designed that way. To learn only one law is a good start, but it is knowing and applying all of them that will give you the life of your dreams, if you allow it.
This is getting exciting, isn’t it?
We’re not even half way there yet, so if you need to, take a second and rest your eyes, stretch, grab a glass of water (or wine) :).
Don’t worry, I’ll wait for you.
On to the next Law…
4. The Law of Sufficiency and Abundance
The fourth essential Universal Law is the Law of Sufficiency and Abundance.
The Law of Sufficiency and Abundance: You have everything within you right now to make your life a living dream.
We live in a Universe of abundance, although the majority of us have learned to view it as a Universe of scarcity.
“Our sufficiency is from God” 11 Corinthians 3:5
There is an unlimited supply of every good and wonderful thing, and experience. There is enough for everyone! There is always enough. We have bought into a lie that there is not enough. This lie is the lie of scarcity and limitation.
The truth is we are completely abundant and are able to create whatever we desire. The truth is that we live in a world where, spiritually and energetically speaking, there is an unlimited supply of goods. You were given life, and have access to the power that you need in order to create the life in the way that you choose. And you are not hindered or cheated out of your “portion” of prosperity if someone else achieves or acquires success. We are eternal beings in physical form; well-being and abundance are the basis of our Universe.
Beliefs based in lack affect our ability to manifest our hearts desires, from a space of ease and effortlessness. This lack mentality controls us by keeping us longing for what others have, or fighting to be better than others.
Most of us feel that who we are, what we have, and what we are doing is not enough. That is a big lie. You learned about the Law of Attraction. If you feel that nothing is ever enough, that is what you will be attracting into your life. If you feel you are not enough, you are right. If you feel what you have is not enough, you will continue to receive not enough.
It is time that we learned to tap into the truth of our being. This truth is that we are enough. In this moment, we are perfect, whole and complete just as we are. Because we are growing and expanding beings, we will always desire to have more in our lives, but if we are coming from a place of “not enough” we never will truly feel that whatever we manifest or bring into our lives is enough.
So when is it going to be enough?
When are you going to feel satisfied?
Is it when you lose the 10 pounds?
When you finally have a million dollars in the bank?
When you finally have your ideal relationship?
How do you know what will be enough?
If you are always looking outside of you, at circumstances and situations to become more than they are, you are not in the now and appreciating what you have. If you continue to chase things outside of you in order for you to feel that you are enough, you will never feel truly satisfied. There is always more to achieve, acquire, and do.
When you come from a place of feeling that everything in your life right now is sufficient, you will know great peace. When you can feel gratitude for what you currently have in your life, while at the same time feeling excited for all the things you desire to manifest, you will know complete joy.
What if you aligned your thoughts and emotions right now with abundance? What if you felt that you are enough? You are worthy. You have everything that you need right now inside of you to build a fortune and to reach your goals. You have all you need inside of you to create your ideal job. You have everything inside of you to attract your ideal mate. You always have enough.
So how can you start applying this law right now?
Be satisfied now. Don’t wait to be satisfied.
Put your hand over your heart and say to yourself, “I am satisfied with what I have. My love, happiness, and security is coming to me from within, from the creator, as my source, and supply.”
Start with where you are and what you have right now. Set your goals, see yourself already there, and be resolved to succeed in attaining your goals, no matter what it takes.
Manifestation happens when we can be in a place of feeling at peace with where we are, while being excited about the possibilities ahead. That is why it’s so important to learn about all the Laws, not just the Law of Attraction.
5. The Law of Pure Potentiality
The fifth essential Universal Law is the Law of Pure Potentiality.
This law is based on the fact that the true essence of who we are is pure consciousness. The Source of all creation is pure consciousness, or pure potentiality, seeking to express itself into form. When we realize that our inner being, the Spirit that animates our minds and bodies, is one of pure potentiality, we are then in alignment with the power that manifests everything in the Universe. Anything is possible and there is unlimited creativity.
As we learned in the Law of Sufficiency and Abundance, the Universe knows no limits. The potential of the Universe and everything in it is unlimited. The only limits are the ones we impose through our fears, doubts, uncertainty, lack of faith, lack of confidence, or any other lower level emotion.
If you feel limits in your life, your Ego will feel fear and desire things that will make you feel “free”, such as money, prestige, and power.
What happens to you when the objects disappear?
What if you have all the money you want, and then suddenly it is gone?
Your freedom was conditional. If in your love, in your faith, you know that you are part of the Universe, that The Universe will provide all your needs when you require them, then you are unlimited in your potential. When you are in alignment with pure potentiality, there is no fear. You are then truly free.
If you know and develop a relationship with Source, then act "As If" you were part of Source, you will be in touch with pure potentiality. That is why the practice of meditation is so powerful. When you allow yourself to be silent to just be, you develop the connection with Source, with your pure potentiality.
When we commune with nature and witness the intelligence within every living thing, we are connecting to pure potentiality.
How do you feel when you sit and watch a sunset, or listen to the waves of the ocean crash up against the shore, or smell the beautiful scent of a flower? Pure potentiality created all those things, and so much more.
You are unlimited, know only love, there is no need to fear, know that you are part of Pure Potentiality. Anything is possible, because nothing is impossible. When you are in alignment with the Law of Pure Potentiality, you feel centered and at peace.
Did I lose you on that one? I hope not. If you need to, reread that law again before we continue.
Alright, let’s move on.
6. The Law of Detachment
The sixth essential Universal Law is the Law of Detachment.
The Law of Detachment says “in order to acquire anything in the physical Universe, you have to relinquish your attachment to it.”
This does not mean that you have to create by default or that you should not desire or intend for what you want to create. Remember, “meant-to-be” and “luck” do not exist. We need to work with the Law of Attraction to create what we desire. This again means that the Law of Detachment works in harmony with the other laws, including the Law of Attraction.
It is all about trust. When we are in a state of detachment, we trust. To be detached from the outcome of a result means that you have learned to trust.
What is trust? TRUST - To Rely Unto Spirit Totally
When you know that Spirit will give you what you need - not necessarily what you want (that's Ego's job) - then you will learn to do the work that is required to be done and move on. The results will take care of themselves. The timing of how things manifest will come at the perfect time. When we trust the Universe knows what that perfect timing is, it happens even faster, because we get out of the way. If you stand in the way of the energy creating the outcome, or result, through your lack of trust, insecurity and fearfulness, you put a barrier in the way of blocking the efficiency of that flow of energy (resistance). By learning to trust, you live in the wisdom of insecurity and uncertainty where there are unlimited opportunities being created in the present moment of now. Remember the Law of Pure Potentiality?
Again . . . see how all the laws work together?
Detachment is another way of saying allowing. It is when you combine your intentions and detach from the outcomes that your desires will manifest.
This is not to say that you should not make goals and take the action steps in achieving those goals. The Law of Deliberate Creation, the power of intention, and the Law of Detachment all work together to create your desires. Applying the Law of Detachment to your goals and desires allows you to be flexible and trust when the Universe delivers you something for which you are a vibrational match to, but you didn’t expect. Detachment allows you to stay open to allow the Universe to bring you something even better than you thought possible.
7. The Law of Polarity
The seventh essential Universal Law is the Law of Polarity. This law states that “Unity is plural at a minimum of two.” In the duality that exists there are two poles, or opposites, of everything. Polarity represents the two extremes of one "thing" which is the same thing. For example, temperature has polarity evidenced by hot at one extreme and cold at the other extreme. The temperature "thing" is the same "thing" and it is evidenced by two poles, or opposites, or extremes - hot and cold. Along this same "thing" degrees measure the perception of the attitude of the individual to what is considered hot and what is considered cold. Hot and cold mean different things to different people - so does rich and poor, love and hate, good and bad, etc.
What is important in understanding the Law of Polarity is the ability to understand the power of transformation. By choosing to change your perception and your resulting attitude you can shift your perception of someone or something from, say, "bad" to "good". This becomes your new reality now. By seeking a higher frequency vibration of energy in this transformation process the previous lower frequency of vibration of energy gets replaced. "Bad" can become "Good", as an example. The choice made, the decision implemented automatically involves the Law of Cause and Effect - reaping what you sow - depending on the choice made in your responses. You can raise your vibrations and positively change others.
It is up to you to make a choice to change your perception and your attitude towards something or someone. Just as it is up to you to create the life you desire.
Another example of the Law of Polarity is the physical and the metaphysical. The physical is what is visible and which we can see, hear, touch, smell and taste. The metaphysical is that which we feel, such as emotions, feelings and energy. In order for you to create what you desire you have to have both the physical and metaphysical. The physical part of us needs to take action to make things happen in the Universe, while the metaphysical part of us needs to do the energy work. It is when we combine both the polar opposites that we create what we truly desire.
This is why most people are frustrated with The Secret and there is so much doubt in the teachings. Action in the physical world, as well as the energy work in the metaphysical world need to take place in order for things to manifest.
Wow!
Wow! That’s a lot to take in huh? Take a minute to bookmark this page so that you can come back and reference it.
So… What’s next?
At this point you should have a good understanding of the 7 Essential Universal Laws. It should be very clear that these Universal Laws can’t work alone or on their own. They work in unison. Just like the more common laws, like the Law of Time and the Law of Space they do not work alone, they work in unison with each other. It’s not like when the Law of Time is in action, the Law of Space stops working. No, they work together and together they create our world and our reality. The 7 Essential Laws work just the same. Together, they will create your reality.
good thots
Eat That Frog!
by Brian Tracy
The 80/20 Rule is one of the most helpful of all concepts of time and life management. It is also called the "Pareto Principle" after its founder, the Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto, who first wrote about it in 1895. Pareto noticed that people in his society seemed to divide naturally into what he called the "vital few", the top 20 percent in terms of money and influence, and the "trivial many", the bottom 80 percent.
He later discovered that virtually all economic activity was subject to this principle as well. For example, this principle says that 20 percent of your activities will account for 80 percent of your results, 20 percent of your customers will account for 80 percent of your sales, 20 percent of your products or services will account for 80 percent of your profits, 20 percent of your tasks will account for 80 percent of the value of what you do, and so on. This means that if you have a list of ten items to do, two of those items will turn out to be worth five or ten times or more than the other eight items put together.
Number of Tasks versus Importance of Tasks
Here is an interesting discovery. Each of the ten tasks may take the same amount of time to accomplish. But one or two of those tasks will contribute five or ten times the value of any of the others.
Often, one item on a list of ten tasks that you have to do can be worth more than all the other nine items put together. This task is invariably the frog that you should eat first.
Focus on Activities, Not Accomplishments
The most valuable tasks you can do each day are often the hardest and most complex. But the payoff and rewards for completing these tasks efficiently can be tremendous. For this reason, you must adamantly refuse to work on tasks in the bottom 80 percent while you still have tasks in the top 20 percent left to be done.
Before you begin work, always ask yourself, "Is this task in the top 20 percent of my activities or in the bottom 80 percent?"
The hardest part of any important task is getting started on it in the first place. Once you actually begin work on a valuable task, you will be naturally motivated to continue. A part of your mind loves to be busy working on significant tasks that can really make a difference. Your job is to feed this part of your mind continually.
Motivate Yourself
Just thinking about starting and finishing an important task motivates you and helps you to overcome procrastination. Time management is really life management, personal management. It is really taking control of the sequence of events. Time management is having control over what you do next. And you are always free to choose the task that you will do next. Your ability to choose between the important and the unimportant is the key determinant of your success in life and work.
Effective, productive people discipline themselves to start on the most important task that is before them. They force themselves to eat that frog, whatever it is. As a result, they accomplish vastly more than the average person and are much happier as a result. This should be your way of working as well.
by Brian Tracy
The 80/20 Rule is one of the most helpful of all concepts of time and life management. It is also called the "Pareto Principle" after its founder, the Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto, who first wrote about it in 1895. Pareto noticed that people in his society seemed to divide naturally into what he called the "vital few", the top 20 percent in terms of money and influence, and the "trivial many", the bottom 80 percent.
He later discovered that virtually all economic activity was subject to this principle as well. For example, this principle says that 20 percent of your activities will account for 80 percent of your results, 20 percent of your customers will account for 80 percent of your sales, 20 percent of your products or services will account for 80 percent of your profits, 20 percent of your tasks will account for 80 percent of the value of what you do, and so on. This means that if you have a list of ten items to do, two of those items will turn out to be worth five or ten times or more than the other eight items put together.
Number of Tasks versus Importance of Tasks
Here is an interesting discovery. Each of the ten tasks may take the same amount of time to accomplish. But one or two of those tasks will contribute five or ten times the value of any of the others.
Often, one item on a list of ten tasks that you have to do can be worth more than all the other nine items put together. This task is invariably the frog that you should eat first.
Focus on Activities, Not Accomplishments
The most valuable tasks you can do each day are often the hardest and most complex. But the payoff and rewards for completing these tasks efficiently can be tremendous. For this reason, you must adamantly refuse to work on tasks in the bottom 80 percent while you still have tasks in the top 20 percent left to be done.
Before you begin work, always ask yourself, "Is this task in the top 20 percent of my activities or in the bottom 80 percent?"
The hardest part of any important task is getting started on it in the first place. Once you actually begin work on a valuable task, you will be naturally motivated to continue. A part of your mind loves to be busy working on significant tasks that can really make a difference. Your job is to feed this part of your mind continually.
Motivate Yourself
Just thinking about starting and finishing an important task motivates you and helps you to overcome procrastination. Time management is really life management, personal management. It is really taking control of the sequence of events. Time management is having control over what you do next. And you are always free to choose the task that you will do next. Your ability to choose between the important and the unimportant is the key determinant of your success in life and work.
Effective, productive people discipline themselves to start on the most important task that is before them. They force themselves to eat that frog, whatever it is. As a result, they accomplish vastly more than the average person and are much happier as a result. This should be your way of working as well.
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
good thots
Sometimes the greatest respect is earned by the way you respond when your opponent has outplayed you."
~Dan Green
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Excerpt from:
Dreams are Whispers from the Soul
by Marcia Wieder
Bessie had been an amateur photographer for 25 years. Now at 70, she had a very clear dream.
"I want to be a world famous, professional photographer," she said and then emphasized, "The difference between an amateur and a professional is a professional gets paid."
"Fabulous," I exclaimed. "Is anything stopping you?"
She paused for a long time. "I'm sure I need credentials but don't want to go back to school at my age."
I listened between the words and felt what she wasn't saying.
"Bessie, what's really in your way?" I gently asked.
"Everyone is telling me I am too old," she slumped. "They're telling me to be realistic."
Outrageous, I thought. "Nonsense," I said. "What's a step you can take to show that you are more committed to your dream than to their doubt?"
She reflected for a moment and then suddenly her eyes lit up. "I know what to do. I have an application sitting on my desk for a photo contest sponsored by Kodak. Just entering would have me prove to myself that I am serious about this."
She took a stunning photograph of a man playing a sousaphone with golden tones of his reflecting his bright red band uniform. She proudly sent it off to the Kodak competition, now mind you, along with 500,000 other entries.
Bessie won first prize, which included a check for $10,000.00. "I ran out to get business cards printed," she bragged. "After all, now I really am a professional."
Her photograph toured around the world with the Journey into Imagination exhibit.
She got the whole dream.
"Bessie, what did you learn from this? What wisdom would you share?" I asked.
She looked me square in the eyes and said, "It's never too late to make a dream come true."
Until you get to the end of your life and look back on what you did or didn't accomplish how do you know if something is realistic? Most people compromise their dreams down to what they realistically believe they can accomplish before they explore the possibilities of where their dreams might take them.
Not Bessie...and not you!
"The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something."
-Carl Sandburg
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Only in the sacredness of inward silence does the soul truly meet the secret, hiding God.
-- Frederick William Robertson
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Preparing Your Dream from
Dream: See It and Seize It
by John Maxwell
If you are unsure of what your dream might be - either because you are afraid to dream or because you somehow lost your dream along the way - then start preparing yourself to receive your dreams by doing six things to put yourself in the best possible position to receive a dream.
Once you do these six things, focus on discovering your dream. As you do, keep in mind the words of my agent Matt Yates, who says, "A dream is what you desire if anything and everything is possible."
Mental Preparation: Read and study in areas of your greatest interest.
Experimental Preparation: Engage in activities in areas related to your interests.
Visual Preparation: Put up pictures of people and things that inspire you.
Hero Preparation: Read about and try to meet people you admire and who inspire you.
Physical Preparation: Get your body in optimal shape to pursue your dream.
Spiritual Preparation: Seek God's help for a bigger-than-self dream.
"God will help you be all you can be, but He will never help you be someone else."
-Joyce Meyer
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We all face challenges every day. Winners deal with these challenges in a positive way. Losers see them as problems."
~Barry Gottlieb
Completion is an attitude, not an event.
-- Alan Cohen
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An Excerpt from
The Strangest Secret
by Earl Nightingale
George Bernard Shaw said, "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, they make them."
Well, it's pretty apparent, isn't it? And every person who discovered this believed (for a while) that he was the first one to work it out. We become what we think about.
Conversely, the person who has no goal, who doesn't know where he's going, and whose thoughts must therefore be thoughts of confusion, anxiety and worry - his life becomes one of frustration, fear, anxiety and worry. And if he thinks about nothing... he becomes nothing.
How does it work? Why do we become what we think about? Well, I'll tell you how it works, as far as we know. To do this, I want to tell you about a situation that parallels the human mind.
Suppose a farmer has some land, and it's good, fertile land. The land gives the farmer a choice; he may plant in that land whatever he chooses. The land doesn't care. It's up to the farmer to make the decision.
We're comparing the human mind with the land because the mind, like the land, doesn't care what you plant in it. It will return what you plant, but it doesn't care what you plant.
Now, let's say that the farmer has two seeds in his hand- one is a seed of corn, the other is nightshade, a deadly poison. He digs two little holes in the earth and he plants both seeds-one corn, the other nightshade. He covers up the holes, waters and takes care of the land...and what will happen? Invariably, the land will return what was planted.
As it's written in the Bible, "As ye sow, so shall ye reap."
Remember the land doesn't care. It will return poison in just as wonderful abundance as it will corn. So up come the two plants - one corn, one poison.
The human mind is far more fertile, far more incredible and mysterious than the land, but it works the same way. It doesn't care what we plant...success...or failure. A concrete, worthwhile goal...or confusion, misunderstanding, fear, anxiety and so on. But what we plant it must return to us.
You see, the human mind is the last great unexplored continent on earth. It contains riches beyond our wildest dreams. It will return anything we want to plant.
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Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
I found that the men and women who got to the top were those that did the jobs they had in hand with everything they had of energy, enthusiasm and hard work."
~Harry Truman
The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind."
~William James
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There is nothing on this earth to be prized more than true friendship."
~ St. Thomas Aquinas
Dear shamugam,
Today I want to share a very personal and private story with you. You know me as Mr. Positive! Well that name makes everyone think I am super human and never have a bad day or a negative thought…ha!
The truth is I am human like everyone else and not only have I had negative thoughts; I have bad days where I seem to forget all that I have learned about being positive.
In fact, recently it seemed my bad days where piling up one on top of each other into a very unpleasant and dark time. Without realizing what was happening I found that I had become depressed...(wild huh? I know).
I tried everything that I share with you here in my newsletters and nothing seemed to be working. Finally out of sheer desperation, I humbled myself and reached out to a fairly new friend of mine, Gary Coxe.
Being Mr. Positive this was very difficult for me but I knew I couldn’t/shouldn't continue struggle trying to do it all on my own. Especially when I know some really smart people who are committed to helping others.
His words were “David, don’t worry you’re going to get through this, if I have to I’m going to push you through it.” Wow! These words gave me hope and knowing Gary’s personal story I knew he had some tools to help me. Breathing deeply, I also felt his caring and sincerity beyond his words.
We set up a time to talk and he gave me a couple of exercises and several small action steps to get me moving again; we stayed in touch via email and within a week I was feeling much better. Now mind you I didn’t just listen or talk but I took his instructions to heart and acted on them.
Literally, its only one month later now and I can hardly believe the changes that have happened and how much different I feel. Sometimes we all need a little help. I know it’s not always easy to reach out but if you need help please be bold and take some small action to move forward.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude...nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude."
~Thomas Jefferson
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If someone were to ask me to pick one word to best describe any success I've had in my life....I wouldn't hesitate; the word would be perseverance.
There have been a lot of potholes, detours and roadblocks along the way. I can only wish that I had BJ Gallagher's book to provide inspiration as I fought through my times of adversity. It is terrific!
The table of contents will give you a little "snapshot" of what it's all about:
Introduction
Persist no matter what.
Endure discomfort.
Request help.
Steadfastly hold on to your beliefs and values.
Envision triumph.
Very consistently keep at it.
Embrace adversity as your teacher.
Refuse to give up.
Enjoy and celebrate every tiny bit of progress!
Today, I'd like to share a chapter in The Best Way Out is Always Through. Enjoy!
An excerpt from
The Best Way Out is Always Through
by BJ Gallagher
Mary Kay Ash banged her head on the corporate glass ceiling one too many times. Working for several direct sales companies from the 1930's until the early 1960's, she achieved considerable success. She climbed the corporate ladder to become the sole woman on the board of directors of the World Gift Company - quite an accomplishment for a woman in the 1950's.
But life wasn't rosy at the top. Even though Mary Kay had the title and the track record, she was not taken seriously by her male peers. In board meetings, her opinions and suggestions were ignored, dismissed, or even ridiculed. Male board members minced no words in their judgment - pronouncing her guilty of "thinking like a woman."
Since the sales force was almost entirely female, Mary Kay thought that thinking like a woman was an asset. But her fellow board members disagreed. Finally, in frustration, she retired in 1963, intending to write a book to assist women in the male-dominated business.
Sitting at her kitchen table, she made two lists: one list was all the good things she had seen in the companies where she'd worked, and the other list was all the things she thought could be improved. As she re-read her lists, she realized that what she had in front of her was a marketing plan for her ideal company. In just four weeks, her "book" had become a business plan, and her retirement was over.
Both her accountant and her attorney did their best to discourage her, warning that she would be throwing her money away on this venture. But Mary Kay had heard enough male nay-saying in her corporate years - she ignored her advisors.
Her husband, unlike her accountant and attorney, was very supportive. With his help, Mary Kay developed the cosmetic products, designed packaging, wrote promotional materials and recruited and trained her female sales force.
Then the unthinkable happened; her husband of twenty-one years died of a heart attack. Another woman might have dropped her plans, or at least delayed them, but Mary Kay was a strong Texas woman. She stayed on track with the help of her twenty-year-old son, Richard Rogers and rolled out her new business in September of 1963.
Beginning with a storefront in Dallas and an investment of $5,000, Mary Kay Cosmetics earned close to $200,000 in its first year - quadrupling that amount in its second year. When Mary Kay took her company public in 1968, sales had climbed to more than $10 million.
Mary Kay's unusual corporate motto, "God first, family second, career third," was unconventional, to say the least. But she understood the need for women to have balance in their lives, and she was committed to providing unlimited opportunity for women's financial AND personal success.
Mary Kay authored three books, all of which became best-sellers. Her business model is taught at the Harvard Business School. She received many honors, including the Horatio Alger Award. Fortune magazine has named Mary Kay Cosmetics as one of the Ten Best Companies for Women, as well as one of The 100 Best Companies to Work for in America.
At the time of her death in 2001, Mary Kay Cosmetics had 800,000 independent beauty consultants in 37 countries, with total annual sales of over two billion dollars. Never underestimate the power of a woman with a mission!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seven Reasons to be Thankful
by Mitch Anthony
At this time of the year, it’s important to take an inventory of what we are thankful for. While it’s fine to be thankful for having a job, money in the bank, or a nice house to live in, it’s the following seven intangibles that can truly make a difference in our lives:
1. Happiness. The true key to happiness is appreciating what you have and not wanting what you don’t need. If you aren’t content with what you already have, what makes you think you will feel differently if circumstances change?
Don’t get me wrong: there is certainly nothing wrong with wanting more and rewarding yourself for a job well done. Where many of us go wrong, however, is in believing that having these things will automatically make us happy. In fact, these things often have the potential to make us unhappy. For example, a bigger house means more work, more maintenance, and more things that can go wrong––at a bigger price tag.
It’s important to realize that happiness is a state of mind and not a state of material ownership. Happiness is easy. Don’t complicate it. If you appreciate what you have, you are happy.
2. Fulfillment. Fulfillment is doing the things you love to do. It is expressing your working soul––engaging in work that energizes you. Fulfillment does not necessarily come from your career because the career you are in may not be the soul-felt expression of who you are. When you are expressing who you are with your work, you have shaken hands with fulfillment. Once you discover this relationship between who you are and what you do, it is awfully difficult to go back to work that engages the hands but not the heart.
However, given the current economy, a voluntary career change can be difficult. If you are feeling stuck in your professional life because you cannot afford to move on at this point, think of another way to fulfill yourself––a creative outlet or philanthropic pursuit. You may discover that those outlets lead to a change in your professional life by bringing you the fulfillment you desire.
3. Balance. When our lives are in balance, we enjoy life. How many people do you know who have worked hard for so long that they no longer know how to relax when they get the opportunity? How many people do you know who are so busy supporting their families that they never get to spend time with them? What do they achieve by neglecting the very people that motivate them to earn a good living? There is a fine balance to be achieved in attending to the physical, emotional, social, and spiritual sides of our beings. There is also a fine balance to be achieved in attending to the working, familial, and playful sides of our beings.
4. Satisfaction. If we are living thoughtful, introspective, examined lives, we will feel a sense of satisfaction. In my experiences of talking to people who feel a sense of dissatisfaction in their lives, I see a recurring pattern of lukewarm relationships and a lack of conviction about the impact and meaning of their daily work (see “Fulfillment” above). We need to begin looking for opportunities to satisfy our need for inner satisfaction at the place we are today––before we start believing that greener grass exists elsewhere. I had a conversation with a woman who told me she needed to get back to helping the homeless so she could feel satisfied that she was contributing to society in a meaningful way. She felt her life was too self-absorbed. I asked her what she did in her job that helped others. She thought about it and said that she gave seminars helping women discover financial independence. After she said that, she suddenly realized she was ignoring a great source of inner satisfaction right under her nose. Satisfaction often can be fulfilled by appreciating the things we do now––and by striving to do them better. Satisfaction revolves around the quality of our efforts and our relationships.
5. Choices. Whether our goals are anchored in work, family, leisure, or all the above, we feel a sense of security only when we know we will have the freedom to continue pursuing those goals. We may feel insecure about our jobs. We may fear we will not have enough money to pursue the lifestyle we want. Possessing adequate finances can unquestionably provide a great degree of security because it can give us a material guarantee of sorts that we will be able to do what we want with our lives. Life will always present us with opportunities to feel insecure because very little in this world is guaranteed. We may have the money to do what we want, but poor health can rob us of mobility and activity. We can make all sorts of plans for our future, but there is no guarantee that those plans will pan out. We can build on our sense of security by staying close to those who love us, practicing good physical habits, and putting away all we can toward our financial emancipation.
6. Significance. Viktor Frankl stated that a person’s chief motivation is the need for significance. We are motivated by a need to make a difference somehow in others’ lives––to feel we are making a contribution that is significant. Many of us erroneously believe that we can gain a sense of significance by the acquisition of power and control over others. We cannot. This inward sense of significance is satisfied by the best possible use of our most valuable resource: time. We all have only so many days on this earth, and those days are fleeting. Look how quickly the last decade has seemed to pass by. Parents get a magnified perspective on the fleeting nature of time as they watch their children sprout and exit while they feel almost the same as they did 18 years ago. Money has the power to feed this significance only when it is shared––emancipating us to share our time and skills. Charity and volunteerism can be crucial to a sense of significance in our lives. By working in jobs where we see little benefit, we will lack a sense of significance. We will feel we are wasting our time. Workaholics who miss all of their children’s meaningful activities will feel that they are abusing the short time they have. Significance is closely related to how we manage the time we have.
7. Achievement. Success relies heavily on moving toward or achieving personal goals. But the term success must be broadened beyond the material to have real meaning in our lives. Successful individuals have goals involving who they are (character), what they do (career), and what they possess (wealth)—and, more than likely, in that order of importance. How do individuals feel who are garnering riches but failing in the personal character department? Our reputation truly is worth its weight in gold. Financial success could be defined as having enough to meet our own needs and the needs of those we choose to help. This is a worthy financial goal. Career success could be defined as having the opportunity to pursue our career goals. We feel most successful when we are actively pursuing our heartfelt goals. As long as we are actively pursuing personal goals and making progress toward them, we will nourish our sense of success and confidence.
When we myopically focus on money or work or leisure at the expense of other areas of meaning in our lives, we deny ourselves the fulfillment that comes from the seven intangibles defining contentment. Remember, your life is not about making money…your money is about making a life.
~Dan Green
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Excerpt from:
Dreams are Whispers from the Soul
by Marcia Wieder
Bessie had been an amateur photographer for 25 years. Now at 70, she had a very clear dream.
"I want to be a world famous, professional photographer," she said and then emphasized, "The difference between an amateur and a professional is a professional gets paid."
"Fabulous," I exclaimed. "Is anything stopping you?"
She paused for a long time. "I'm sure I need credentials but don't want to go back to school at my age."
I listened between the words and felt what she wasn't saying.
"Bessie, what's really in your way?" I gently asked.
"Everyone is telling me I am too old," she slumped. "They're telling me to be realistic."
Outrageous, I thought. "Nonsense," I said. "What's a step you can take to show that you are more committed to your dream than to their doubt?"
She reflected for a moment and then suddenly her eyes lit up. "I know what to do. I have an application sitting on my desk for a photo contest sponsored by Kodak. Just entering would have me prove to myself that I am serious about this."
She took a stunning photograph of a man playing a sousaphone with golden tones of his reflecting his bright red band uniform. She proudly sent it off to the Kodak competition, now mind you, along with 500,000 other entries.
Bessie won first prize, which included a check for $10,000.00. "I ran out to get business cards printed," she bragged. "After all, now I really am a professional."
Her photograph toured around the world with the Journey into Imagination exhibit.
She got the whole dream.
"Bessie, what did you learn from this? What wisdom would you share?" I asked.
She looked me square in the eyes and said, "It's never too late to make a dream come true."
Until you get to the end of your life and look back on what you did or didn't accomplish how do you know if something is realistic? Most people compromise their dreams down to what they realistically believe they can accomplish before they explore the possibilities of where their dreams might take them.
Not Bessie...and not you!
"The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something."
-Carl Sandburg
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Only in the sacredness of inward silence does the soul truly meet the secret, hiding God.
-- Frederick William Robertson
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Preparing Your Dream from
Dream: See It and Seize It
by John Maxwell
If you are unsure of what your dream might be - either because you are afraid to dream or because you somehow lost your dream along the way - then start preparing yourself to receive your dreams by doing six things to put yourself in the best possible position to receive a dream.
Once you do these six things, focus on discovering your dream. As you do, keep in mind the words of my agent Matt Yates, who says, "A dream is what you desire if anything and everything is possible."
Mental Preparation: Read and study in areas of your greatest interest.
Experimental Preparation: Engage in activities in areas related to your interests.
Visual Preparation: Put up pictures of people and things that inspire you.
Hero Preparation: Read about and try to meet people you admire and who inspire you.
Physical Preparation: Get your body in optimal shape to pursue your dream.
Spiritual Preparation: Seek God's help for a bigger-than-self dream.
"God will help you be all you can be, but He will never help you be someone else."
-Joyce Meyer
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We all face challenges every day. Winners deal with these challenges in a positive way. Losers see them as problems."
~Barry Gottlieb
Completion is an attitude, not an event.
-- Alan Cohen
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An Excerpt from
The Strangest Secret
by Earl Nightingale
George Bernard Shaw said, "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, they make them."
Well, it's pretty apparent, isn't it? And every person who discovered this believed (for a while) that he was the first one to work it out. We become what we think about.
Conversely, the person who has no goal, who doesn't know where he's going, and whose thoughts must therefore be thoughts of confusion, anxiety and worry - his life becomes one of frustration, fear, anxiety and worry. And if he thinks about nothing... he becomes nothing.
How does it work? Why do we become what we think about? Well, I'll tell you how it works, as far as we know. To do this, I want to tell you about a situation that parallels the human mind.
Suppose a farmer has some land, and it's good, fertile land. The land gives the farmer a choice; he may plant in that land whatever he chooses. The land doesn't care. It's up to the farmer to make the decision.
We're comparing the human mind with the land because the mind, like the land, doesn't care what you plant in it. It will return what you plant, but it doesn't care what you plant.
Now, let's say that the farmer has two seeds in his hand- one is a seed of corn, the other is nightshade, a deadly poison. He digs two little holes in the earth and he plants both seeds-one corn, the other nightshade. He covers up the holes, waters and takes care of the land...and what will happen? Invariably, the land will return what was planted.
As it's written in the Bible, "As ye sow, so shall ye reap."
Remember the land doesn't care. It will return poison in just as wonderful abundance as it will corn. So up come the two plants - one corn, one poison.
The human mind is far more fertile, far more incredible and mysterious than the land, but it works the same way. It doesn't care what we plant...success...or failure. A concrete, worthwhile goal...or confusion, misunderstanding, fear, anxiety and so on. But what we plant it must return to us.
You see, the human mind is the last great unexplored continent on earth. It contains riches beyond our wildest dreams. It will return anything we want to plant.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
I found that the men and women who got to the top were those that did the jobs they had in hand with everything they had of energy, enthusiasm and hard work."
~Harry Truman
The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind."
~William James
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There is nothing on this earth to be prized more than true friendship."
~ St. Thomas Aquinas
Dear shamugam,
Today I want to share a very personal and private story with you. You know me as Mr. Positive! Well that name makes everyone think I am super human and never have a bad day or a negative thought…ha!
The truth is I am human like everyone else and not only have I had negative thoughts; I have bad days where I seem to forget all that I have learned about being positive.
In fact, recently it seemed my bad days where piling up one on top of each other into a very unpleasant and dark time. Without realizing what was happening I found that I had become depressed...(wild huh? I know).
I tried everything that I share with you here in my newsletters and nothing seemed to be working. Finally out of sheer desperation, I humbled myself and reached out to a fairly new friend of mine, Gary Coxe.
Being Mr. Positive this was very difficult for me but I knew I couldn’t/shouldn't continue struggle trying to do it all on my own. Especially when I know some really smart people who are committed to helping others.
His words were “David, don’t worry you’re going to get through this, if I have to I’m going to push you through it.” Wow! These words gave me hope and knowing Gary’s personal story I knew he had some tools to help me. Breathing deeply, I also felt his caring and sincerity beyond his words.
We set up a time to talk and he gave me a couple of exercises and several small action steps to get me moving again; we stayed in touch via email and within a week I was feeling much better. Now mind you I didn’t just listen or talk but I took his instructions to heart and acted on them.
Literally, its only one month later now and I can hardly believe the changes that have happened and how much different I feel. Sometimes we all need a little help. I know it’s not always easy to reach out but if you need help please be bold and take some small action to move forward.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude...nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude."
~Thomas Jefferson
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If someone were to ask me to pick one word to best describe any success I've had in my life....I wouldn't hesitate; the word would be perseverance.
There have been a lot of potholes, detours and roadblocks along the way. I can only wish that I had BJ Gallagher's book to provide inspiration as I fought through my times of adversity. It is terrific!
The table of contents will give you a little "snapshot" of what it's all about:
Introduction
Persist no matter what.
Endure discomfort.
Request help.
Steadfastly hold on to your beliefs and values.
Envision triumph.
Very consistently keep at it.
Embrace adversity as your teacher.
Refuse to give up.
Enjoy and celebrate every tiny bit of progress!
Today, I'd like to share a chapter in The Best Way Out is Always Through. Enjoy!
An excerpt from
The Best Way Out is Always Through
by BJ Gallagher
Mary Kay Ash banged her head on the corporate glass ceiling one too many times. Working for several direct sales companies from the 1930's until the early 1960's, she achieved considerable success. She climbed the corporate ladder to become the sole woman on the board of directors of the World Gift Company - quite an accomplishment for a woman in the 1950's.
But life wasn't rosy at the top. Even though Mary Kay had the title and the track record, she was not taken seriously by her male peers. In board meetings, her opinions and suggestions were ignored, dismissed, or even ridiculed. Male board members minced no words in their judgment - pronouncing her guilty of "thinking like a woman."
Since the sales force was almost entirely female, Mary Kay thought that thinking like a woman was an asset. But her fellow board members disagreed. Finally, in frustration, she retired in 1963, intending to write a book to assist women in the male-dominated business.
Sitting at her kitchen table, she made two lists: one list was all the good things she had seen in the companies where she'd worked, and the other list was all the things she thought could be improved. As she re-read her lists, she realized that what she had in front of her was a marketing plan for her ideal company. In just four weeks, her "book" had become a business plan, and her retirement was over.
Both her accountant and her attorney did their best to discourage her, warning that she would be throwing her money away on this venture. But Mary Kay had heard enough male nay-saying in her corporate years - she ignored her advisors.
Her husband, unlike her accountant and attorney, was very supportive. With his help, Mary Kay developed the cosmetic products, designed packaging, wrote promotional materials and recruited and trained her female sales force.
Then the unthinkable happened; her husband of twenty-one years died of a heart attack. Another woman might have dropped her plans, or at least delayed them, but Mary Kay was a strong Texas woman. She stayed on track with the help of her twenty-year-old son, Richard Rogers and rolled out her new business in September of 1963.
Beginning with a storefront in Dallas and an investment of $5,000, Mary Kay Cosmetics earned close to $200,000 in its first year - quadrupling that amount in its second year. When Mary Kay took her company public in 1968, sales had climbed to more than $10 million.
Mary Kay's unusual corporate motto, "God first, family second, career third," was unconventional, to say the least. But she understood the need for women to have balance in their lives, and she was committed to providing unlimited opportunity for women's financial AND personal success.
Mary Kay authored three books, all of which became best-sellers. Her business model is taught at the Harvard Business School. She received many honors, including the Horatio Alger Award. Fortune magazine has named Mary Kay Cosmetics as one of the Ten Best Companies for Women, as well as one of The 100 Best Companies to Work for in America.
At the time of her death in 2001, Mary Kay Cosmetics had 800,000 independent beauty consultants in 37 countries, with total annual sales of over two billion dollars. Never underestimate the power of a woman with a mission!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seven Reasons to be Thankful
by Mitch Anthony
At this time of the year, it’s important to take an inventory of what we are thankful for. While it’s fine to be thankful for having a job, money in the bank, or a nice house to live in, it’s the following seven intangibles that can truly make a difference in our lives:
1. Happiness. The true key to happiness is appreciating what you have and not wanting what you don’t need. If you aren’t content with what you already have, what makes you think you will feel differently if circumstances change?
Don’t get me wrong: there is certainly nothing wrong with wanting more and rewarding yourself for a job well done. Where many of us go wrong, however, is in believing that having these things will automatically make us happy. In fact, these things often have the potential to make us unhappy. For example, a bigger house means more work, more maintenance, and more things that can go wrong––at a bigger price tag.
It’s important to realize that happiness is a state of mind and not a state of material ownership. Happiness is easy. Don’t complicate it. If you appreciate what you have, you are happy.
2. Fulfillment. Fulfillment is doing the things you love to do. It is expressing your working soul––engaging in work that energizes you. Fulfillment does not necessarily come from your career because the career you are in may not be the soul-felt expression of who you are. When you are expressing who you are with your work, you have shaken hands with fulfillment. Once you discover this relationship between who you are and what you do, it is awfully difficult to go back to work that engages the hands but not the heart.
However, given the current economy, a voluntary career change can be difficult. If you are feeling stuck in your professional life because you cannot afford to move on at this point, think of another way to fulfill yourself––a creative outlet or philanthropic pursuit. You may discover that those outlets lead to a change in your professional life by bringing you the fulfillment you desire.
3. Balance. When our lives are in balance, we enjoy life. How many people do you know who have worked hard for so long that they no longer know how to relax when they get the opportunity? How many people do you know who are so busy supporting their families that they never get to spend time with them? What do they achieve by neglecting the very people that motivate them to earn a good living? There is a fine balance to be achieved in attending to the physical, emotional, social, and spiritual sides of our beings. There is also a fine balance to be achieved in attending to the working, familial, and playful sides of our beings.
4. Satisfaction. If we are living thoughtful, introspective, examined lives, we will feel a sense of satisfaction. In my experiences of talking to people who feel a sense of dissatisfaction in their lives, I see a recurring pattern of lukewarm relationships and a lack of conviction about the impact and meaning of their daily work (see “Fulfillment” above). We need to begin looking for opportunities to satisfy our need for inner satisfaction at the place we are today––before we start believing that greener grass exists elsewhere. I had a conversation with a woman who told me she needed to get back to helping the homeless so she could feel satisfied that she was contributing to society in a meaningful way. She felt her life was too self-absorbed. I asked her what she did in her job that helped others. She thought about it and said that she gave seminars helping women discover financial independence. After she said that, she suddenly realized she was ignoring a great source of inner satisfaction right under her nose. Satisfaction often can be fulfilled by appreciating the things we do now––and by striving to do them better. Satisfaction revolves around the quality of our efforts and our relationships.
5. Choices. Whether our goals are anchored in work, family, leisure, or all the above, we feel a sense of security only when we know we will have the freedom to continue pursuing those goals. We may feel insecure about our jobs. We may fear we will not have enough money to pursue the lifestyle we want. Possessing adequate finances can unquestionably provide a great degree of security because it can give us a material guarantee of sorts that we will be able to do what we want with our lives. Life will always present us with opportunities to feel insecure because very little in this world is guaranteed. We may have the money to do what we want, but poor health can rob us of mobility and activity. We can make all sorts of plans for our future, but there is no guarantee that those plans will pan out. We can build on our sense of security by staying close to those who love us, practicing good physical habits, and putting away all we can toward our financial emancipation.
6. Significance. Viktor Frankl stated that a person’s chief motivation is the need for significance. We are motivated by a need to make a difference somehow in others’ lives––to feel we are making a contribution that is significant. Many of us erroneously believe that we can gain a sense of significance by the acquisition of power and control over others. We cannot. This inward sense of significance is satisfied by the best possible use of our most valuable resource: time. We all have only so many days on this earth, and those days are fleeting. Look how quickly the last decade has seemed to pass by. Parents get a magnified perspective on the fleeting nature of time as they watch their children sprout and exit while they feel almost the same as they did 18 years ago. Money has the power to feed this significance only when it is shared––emancipating us to share our time and skills. Charity and volunteerism can be crucial to a sense of significance in our lives. By working in jobs where we see little benefit, we will lack a sense of significance. We will feel we are wasting our time. Workaholics who miss all of their children’s meaningful activities will feel that they are abusing the short time they have. Significance is closely related to how we manage the time we have.
7. Achievement. Success relies heavily on moving toward or achieving personal goals. But the term success must be broadened beyond the material to have real meaning in our lives. Successful individuals have goals involving who they are (character), what they do (career), and what they possess (wealth)—and, more than likely, in that order of importance. How do individuals feel who are garnering riches but failing in the personal character department? Our reputation truly is worth its weight in gold. Financial success could be defined as having enough to meet our own needs and the needs of those we choose to help. This is a worthy financial goal. Career success could be defined as having the opportunity to pursue our career goals. We feel most successful when we are actively pursuing our heartfelt goals. As long as we are actively pursuing personal goals and making progress toward them, we will nourish our sense of success and confidence.
When we myopically focus on money or work or leisure at the expense of other areas of meaning in our lives, we deny ourselves the fulfillment that comes from the seven intangibles defining contentment. Remember, your life is not about making money…your money is about making a life.
Monday, November 01, 2010
good thots
No matter how bad things are, they could always be worse. Start finding gratitude for what might have happened, but didn't."
~Mac Anderson
~Mac Anderson
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